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Q: Has anyone experienced passive-aggressive behavior from Chinese men?
While walking down the street, in a shopping mall, or pretty much anywhere, Chinese men will go out of their way to walk into your path and not even attempt to yield at all. They either pretend they don't see you, or they just look at you and alter their path to walk right into you. Trying to be the friendly foreigner, I would yield most of the time, but in most cases they would appear to intentionally bump into me anyway. After many occurrences, I wouldn't tolerate it anymore. I would not go out of my way to bump someone, but I became a good judge of who was going to bump me, then I would shoulder check them like a hockey defenseman. Never once did I have anyone comment or object to being bumped. One time a group of younger men walking abreast and taking up the whole sidewalk refused to yield and the one in the center got spun around by my expert shoulder bump. His friends all laughed at him as they continued to walk away. It may sound like I have turned this into my own personal sport, but I refused to accept this behavior numerous times each day as I walk to and from work. Has anyone experienced this or anything similar?
Ted,
It's NOT that the Chinese don't see you, but that they are selfish,inconsiderate IDIOTS!!!!! They also show this behavior in MANY other ways!!
TedDBayer:
It was explained to me that they do not see me, notice me, because I am not in their circle...yes the Chinees can be inconsiderate, but I win at shoulder tag, Besides I don't see the man really, but the women OMG, maybe its something like that.
When I arrived in China few years ago, DOS at EF Tangshan said to me: 'Chinese don't know how to walk!'
I really didn't get the meaning at first, but later on I realized he was right. Sometimes, I can be heard saying: 'Am I invisible or something?'
I was thinking, they try to get closer and smell my perfume. It happened so often, I didn't have any other explanation for that 'hokey game walk'. I am sure, Chinese women passing very close just try to do that.
I always yield to a woman or older person, but refuse to yield any other man, who force his way from the side or comes from behind.
I got tired of this and remember others talking about this. The Chinese just do not see you, I do not understand this as they can stare hard enough at times. I yield to women and children, but to men that walk into me, I play "shoulder tag". I lean into them and make sure they bounce. I don't really put more force into it, I just won't flex backward..
Ted,
It's NOT that the Chinese don't see you, but that they are selfish,inconsiderate IDIOTS!!!!! They also show this behavior in MANY other ways!!
TedDBayer:
It was explained to me that they do not see me, notice me, because I am not in their circle...yes the Chinees can be inconsiderate, but I win at shoulder tag, Besides I don't see the man really, but the women OMG, maybe its something like that.
I sometimes also do the shoulder bump, but afterwards I feel so retarded.
I'm always scared I just hit someone who had a shoulder operation or something.
Getting of the subway, really hitting the people who try to get on before everybody gets off, it's no use.
Same as people stepping on my heels, giving the evil look back, has no use.
I also have experience with Chinese going out of their way to walk into my path. The weird thing is that a lot of us have the same feeling. Do they do this on purpose or not?
Only they know I guess, but I'm thinking they don't. They just don't have that concept.
When you're on a crowded subway and you see someone who wants to pass, you go out of your way and get in a really uncomfortable position to let them through, but they just take your comfortable spot while they let you stand there like a moron.
Once on the subway there was a guy watching a show on his freaking iPad and he just put his tablet right in the face of a fellow Chinese. Right into his cheeks so that his mouth opens up and his teeth become visible. I was amazed, because he didn't react at all, nothing.
I would have send that guys tablet flying.
Why do they keep using their stupid tablets and reading their papers on crowded trains taking up two spaces? How about these people that don't take off their backpacks?
Why do people don't move on the escalator? It's supposed to get the people moving faster, but no, suddenly everyone's legs don't work anymore and they are handicapped.
yeah well, people are stupid, and in China there are a lot of people. The chance that you have the feeling people walking into your path on purpose is just bigger I guess
TeacherNumeroUno:
I might be in that "after 3am state of delirium" where everything seems exceptionally humorous, but this comment had me rolling.
I choked on my sandwich when I read about ppl becoming handicapped on the escalator.
Thanks for that.
And seriously, great imagery with that tablet story. I could picture the whole incident. HIGHlarious!they're trying to provoke foreigners, especially when they are in large groups.
They don't look or yield when driving and don't look or yield when walking. Have you noticed how they pull into intersections when driving? Retarded.
Jesus, I don't know why I come back to this site, i've never read such a load of twaddle in my life. Chinese people don't know how to walk? Where do you get this crap? I simply can't believe you're talking about the same country i've been living in for 7 years. The only thing I recognized was Derek's comment about the driving here, which is, yeh, pretty awful. But people don't know how to walk so you go around hitting them with your shoulders? Where does this happen? There's Crimo trying to stir trouble, Lar spitting his usual venom, Ted and icnif77 talking about 'not yielding' to men and bouncing their shoulders. You know what I reckon? I reckon you guys take trouble with you. I have been bounced ONCE in China, by some dude in a club. I confronted him, he left. Otherwise I walk down the street, other people walk down the street, sweet as you like and never the twain shall meet. Nobody trying to get in my way or play mind games. Not at all. Sounds to me like you guys are 'looking' for trouble. And Topcraig, you don't sound like the 'friendly foreigner' at all, you sound like a moron. So just keep up your shoulder bump game, keep it up. We'll all see you on the news.
mike695ca:
I gotta agree on this one. I have been bumped many many times, but very rarely has there been any intent. Maybe in a bar or something and they let you know it was on purpose. Most of the time its just walking without paying attention. We mostly come from places where personal space is protected, but in China?? Not so much. As someone coming here from abroad we notice these things. But I bet if we were born here, surrounded by people all the time, we probably wouldnt think twice about a little contact either.....
I do hate hate hate it when they do it to my girlfriend... accident is ok but say sorry! thats all, or at least acknowledge that she is a person and there. If there very rude, i will go behind them and kick there feet from under them...
But if they do it to me, i dont pay any mind
slolife805:
Shut up martian. I'm guessing they feel sorry for you so they ignore you.. This just happened to me today when a laoban looking dude veered directly into my path just like the question stated.
mArtiAn:
Maybe they don't dare bump me. I guess they see guys like you and just think, 'what a pussy, think i'll mess with him'.
I only have to dodge walkers because I walk very fast, so I am constantly passing people. I only once had a person walk right at me. It was a teenager walking side by side with his family and taking up the whole sidewalk. I stood my ground, refused to jump into the street to get around them and at the last minute the boys father yanked the kid out of my way, smacked him on the head and scolded him for not being more polite.
I have had to lower my shoulder a few times when getting off a subway or elevator. Normally I will say "excuse me" in Chinese very loudly first. But when that fails, I force my way out.
Unfortunately, I am not a ChinaHulk like Pogger or others so people don't normally fear my average sized frame. So I need to do things I don't like just for survival here every now and then.
simple matter of it not being as big a deal here. They are used to less space and more people.