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Q: Has anyone here really just lost motivation?
When I came here (quite a few years ago), I really wanted a lot of things - exciting new life experiences, learning a new language, and all the other stuff that typically goes along with this eager/stupid newbie scenario.But these days I look back and think; coming here has completely stalled my career, put a serious dent in my pension, Chinese has little to no use outside of China so I've kinda given up on learning that, and I have virtually no life satisfaction. In moments of true reflection I honestly feel that coming here was the worst mistake of my life. I can't chalk it down to a bad china day because just about every day is like that. Is everyone else on here like that? Anyone got a cure that doesn't involve addictive substances?
I know how you feel,when I first went to China I was full of motivation then after spending time in the real world it was slowly sucked out of me till the only motivation was to leave and regroup in Australia. Q : whats the difference between life in China and your wife? A : China still sucks after 2yrs 
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The only way to turn it around is to have a plan to leave.
happywanderer:
Still thinking on this one... Exit remains an option, it has been for a while I guess. I really don't like to feel like a quitter though, so wanna leave when it's best rather than just getting p*ssed off and goin'. Stupid I know.
Two words: Exit. Plan.
Failing that, enroll in a distance diploma or masters so you can feel that you're still learning and hopefully even being inspired. It will minimise the career-dent thing, too.
happywanderer:
Really like the "still learning" thing. Am actually looking around for something now. Sadly I've found few courses in internet trolling but I'll find one! 
have an outside interest from your place of work. I found keeping busy was a good way to distract my mind on a BCD - we all have them. But i could say the same about my place of work at home, it sucked the life out of me as well !!
happywanderer:
Yeah that's a good point - work is always soul destroying. Perhaps too much of "the grass is greener" going on here.
sorrel:
at work, no matter what country I am in, I keep having to ask myself 'why am I here?' it is the activities outside work that I focus on. But also it can be the people I work with, i have had the privilege to work with fantastic people in dreadful jobs. Lucky the person in a job they enjoy!!
happywanderer:
Agreed. And I do need hobbies other than alcohol appreciation.
Make a plan for going back, like the rest suggested. You clearly have not made a mistake, you came here for a reason - exciting life experiences, etc. - and now the reason is expired. I was getting depressed around a year ago, but have accepted that this is a good place to be for now. Some people can follow the usual steps - graduate from uni, get a career, get a spouse, get a house and some cars, get some kids, get a retirement plan, grow old, etc. - and feel satisfied. Some of us cannot. I couldn't feel satisfied with a normal life, so I got a job here.
Now I also feel myself in the same situation, my job isn't so satisfying overall, but I know why. So I think we're in similar situations and they're in fact good situations. I can recommend the book "The Power of the Subconscious Mind" by Joseph Murphy (PDF available free online) about how to utilize your mind's powers to move in the direction of a prosperous and happy life.
its just a matter of time...hard times are not permanent...if you are not happy in doing what you are doing now...so just leave and go....if you have no option of leaving china....its better you get adopted to this and live a happy life...your life is in your hand...happiness doesnt come from good place or good people...its your choice....believe yourself...think that the decision what you took is right...be confident and be positive...everything will go fine....best of luck to you
happywanderer:
Now that's an interesting comment. I've come across the concept that happiness is a choice before but I've never got really got it. How do I just choose to be happy? Or did you kindof already answer that with the believe in yourself bit?
Shining_brow:
Happy - happiness is an emotion. And that's all! We can choose our emotions - we can choose to find something is funny, or sad, or distasteful, or makes us angry, or whatever.
So, go and choose your emotion!!! Don't let your emotions choose you.
Its the feeling about not being able to intergrate on any level,losing ones heritage and way of life. China is not a place for the health concious, or most westereners . My own personal experiences after a 4 year stretch RECENTLY, and a 10 year ASSOCIATION with china... blow it, will leave at end of year and head back to nuclear free NZ.. WORK AND INTERESTS, AND HOBBIES, WILL NEVER REPLACE THOSE FEELINGS, of not being able to intergrate INTO "THE PLANET OF THE CHINESE" etc...
happywanderer:
I find this quite interesting "about not being able to intergrate on any level". I really struggle with this still but I have come across one theory that I think is helping me, in that a failure to integrate can be beneficial for your (and my!) development:
I'm not a psychologist. But I really like this theory.
EDIT: Just a thought anyway - trying to find a positive.
Plus, personally "Iam sick of them" crazy mentality, untrusting culture, and drives me nuts, these RATFINKS! every friggin day!
Yeah sure there are the positive aspects, but weighing it all up at the end of the day, it all just doesnt balance it self out pilgrime!
this place would probably push mary poppins to smoke crack or smack....like many have said here, get a hobby. it will help you with your sanity. i write and read.
I hear you.
Once I graduated from high school, I went to the BLCU to learn Chinese for 3 years. Three god damned years.
I didn't get a diploma, I barely learnt anything, I wasted my parents' money, and I didn't do anything useful.
One might say "but hey, partay in da Jing yo, right brah?", but I was in a useless relationship that didn't allow me to party as much as I could have. And she made me get really fat, too.
I had so much free time, enough to start to get annoyed at a lot of things about Beijing and its inhabitants. I felt like a waste of human resources. I hated everyone. I felt like a disappointment to my parents.
It was a terrible idea. I should have left Beijing as soon as I left high school, and kept a good memory of it. But noooo.
Three years of my youth I'll never get back.
What. A. Fucking. Waste.
Just leave if you're not satisfied. You'll really regret it if you don't.
Mr_spoon:
On the bright side, it helped a bit, since I'm planning to become a translator.
On the other hand, I'm not as excited about living in China as I used to be, so... Yeah. Still a waste of time.
But seriously, don't waste yours. The guilt is soul crushing.
What has your experience given you? Why are you still here, and not somewhere else? (there are positive reasons for it... economy, relative quality of life, etc). How has it changed you in a positive way??
What else do you need to do in order to feel more 'fulfilled'??
Answer these, and you'll start to see it wasn't all a waste! 
happywanderer:
Yeah I suppose I've learnt a lot here. Not all of it nice but learning none-the-less.
happywanderer:
"What else do you need to do in order to feel more 'fulfilled'?" that gave me an almost yoda moment.
No, always have to find a way to motivate me self when I'm feeling down on me luck!!
I feel you. Leaving of course is an option but I'd advise you to think seriously about what you have learned in these years (I'm talking much more than just practical skills like Chinese) and how you can apply it going forward. Take a day off and get a pen and paper and write down your thoughts on that and explore some future avenues. After that find someone to talk to about it that can help you find the next path. Life is a journey, never think of your time or experience as a waste. Use it going forward.
happywanderer:
I think that is part of the problem and probably why I am (and a lot of others are) here. Sometimes you do need to bounce ideas off others
Not at all, but personally thinks also depends on the profession.
I get every day more motivation, even now after more than 8 years in China.
Because in financial/political always reforms in time.
Private life, learned Chinese, travelled a lot in China, met incredible people not in my profession. Experience cool stuff in China, experienced and still experience daily bad things or things what makes me tired.
So lack of motivation, not at all. But I think also depends on someone's character.
There's a lot of good advice in all those answers. Thanks everyone.
Maybe Sex in China on a 30 Day Visa ? would do the trick
In the words of the Pink Floyd song, "Comfortably Numb": "Time to Go"
Get out. I did. First year back home was hard cause I had to start from scratch, but things are picking up now and I'm fully employed, wife's here legally and can work and such and I never miss anything about China but for my friends.
Leave, dude.
Nessquick:
Yeah, I agree. I now a bit regret , that I did not stay Czech even with no money in pocket for start :-( I am back here 4 days and 4 days I come constantly angry, disappointed, sad, whatever ... I will collect salary, get some money what someone owe me, sell out all the stuff at home and I hope We can enjoy real christmas, real snow, real food, real beer, Get job for us both and so on.
No motivation stay here. My wife say, just make more money, but when you are in the state of mind like this, you have no mind to think about the ways to make money, do not want to wait another 1 year . Aaaaaargh .... 
happywanderer:
Datz a big problem yeah. When you're down you're not creative or motivated. You don't just come up with brilliant making money schemes when it all hurts.
I find that I go through more ups and downs in China more than anywhere else I've lived before. I guess the general strain of things gets to you at times though the buzz and sheer happening going on around me can either be a source of frustration of excitement. And hey, isn't that life.
happywanderer:
Where else have you been darkstar? Are you one of these "I've lived everywhere" people?
The more I read about life in LaoWaiLand the gladder I'm here. Rampant PC nonsense, too many rules and regulations, a society straight out of 1984, etc. I don't hear good things from back there.
Someone suggested that every expat is either running away from something or running towards something. I think I'm doing both, running away from a civilization that is (in my mind) on the decline, and running towards something bizarre and cool. What are you doing? Good luck to you.
happywanderer:
Like ya comment but... laowai land is 1984, and here isn't?
sam239:
I feel like "live and let live" applies more here, at least for the foreigner. Sure we have to register, have no legal rights, etc., but in practice it's more live and let live...another way to put it is freedom is a lot cheaper here than back "home".
