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Posts: 3025

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Q: Has this happened to you?

I am having a small problem with my GF, and it has been going on for 4 years now. She speaks darn good English, I would say at least 95 % proficiency/ Just a small problem with numbers (hundred, thousand, million), gender (always uses he even if she is required), and preposition usage. But "our problem" comes because she does not use full pronunciation. She claims she learned English by watching American TV shows reruns. So, she tends to try to speak very fast, and in doing so, does not pronounce words totally or correctly. So, I ask her to repeat what she said, and she gets royally piss and fires back that my hearing is not well. Now, I have no problem with hearing, my problem comes from understanding her. Now days she even claim to friends that she speaks better English than me ! I will give you an example. Today she asked me to try to find her "pin pon" on her bed and bring it to her. I looked all over the bed, the room, and could not see a "ping pong ball" anywhere. She saved me an argument when she replied "well, ring the number and you will hear the bell ringing". That is when I realized that she was looking for her pink cell phone, not a ping pong ball. I have no problems understanding or talking with any other Chinese friend, only with her. I am curious to know if anyone out there is having the same situation. When I ask her to repeat she gets upset and fires back, and then I get angry and do reply with a broadside. Is it that hard for her, or any other Chinese, to understand the need for the correct full pronunciation of words. If the word "phone" you pronounce with a "p" sound instead of an "f" sound, and do not pronounce the "e" at the end, I do not think that even a person from UK will know what she is saying. Am I wrong?

9 years 22 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Yeah, we have that too. 

 

Wife "Can you get me that blue thing from the sofa?"

Me "It is not on the sofa, could it be somewhere else?" ...... AND HERE IS WHERE IT GOES wrong..... because "blue", who the heck says I am looking for something blue. For some reason she, who is not color blind, is very inconsistent in her use of colors. Orange, brown, yellow....all the same, used about the same thing alternately. I have no friggin idea what color our dog is. Anyway, questions like "could you get me my thin sweater?" basically a setup. There is no way in hell I can get that right, especially as her sense of being cold is not really based on temperature but more what the weather forecast is saying.

Anyway, she has pretty hair and a nice smile. 

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Yeah, we have that too. 

 

Wife "Can you get me that blue thing from the sofa?"

Me "It is not on the sofa, could it be somewhere else?" ...... AND HERE IS WHERE IT GOES wrong..... because "blue", who the heck says I am looking for something blue. For some reason she, who is not color blind, is very inconsistent in her use of colors. Orange, brown, yellow....all the same, used about the same thing alternately. I have no friggin idea what color our dog is. Anyway, questions like "could you get me my thin sweater?" basically a setup. There is no way in hell I can get that right, especially as her sense of being cold is not really based on temperature but more what the weather forecast is saying.

Anyway, she has pretty hair and a nice smile. 

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
Posts: 352

Shifu

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Chinese care a lot about pronunciation and tones, so any slight change in your pronunciation would be considered as a phonetic crime.And yea, It happened to me too.

Linkana:

Not a big issue,it happens every where and I guess even in that your small village. Its something of a national consciousness.

7 years 48 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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As Non-native speaker, I deal better with not correct pronunciation than Native speakers, IMO.

 

I demand from my students correct pronunciation, and I show them how is 'correct'. They know, I will always correct them, if I don't understand their English talk.

 

You should do the same. Repeat after her: 'pin pon'?, and if she'll confirm, ask her what is that. After her explanation, you must say: 'I love you!'

 

For 'the peace in the house', you should admit she's better Englo speaker than you. Here and there.

My ex would never argue my English, but I had problems in Dalian Jordan School with one Chinese teacher. She argued my pronunciation of 'owl'. I showed her difference of 'owl' pronunciation in 3 'languages': USA, UK and Indian, but she 'admitted' my Indian 'owl' pronunciation was more Pajee, than real 'Delhi' draft.

 

When you can't win, you 'win' just by realizing you couldn't win.surprise 

Happy Sunday

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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I also have this problem. For me it is incomplete sentences. She will leave out very important words in the sentence leadingto confusion. Sadly she does this even when speaking Chinese.

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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I am a native English speaker, but my Chinese wife's English is better than mine .

 

It could be worse HappyExpat.... your wife could have a Scottish Accent wink.  I don't know how anyone understands anything I say.

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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As a Chinese American, I have to say that I have no problem about this what's so ever. Can not talk to me in English? Then talk to me in Chinese.

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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My GF said strange but cute things, she talked like that in Chinese. It was never ''many'', it was ''many-many-many-many''.......

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Yeah, same problem, and English is not my native language, so she (and her friends) complains about my accent (which is never problem for Westerners). She will remove half of the sounds from *that* word I need to understand, and she will also remove whole essential words from a sentence. She will ask something but miss important details ("Give me the thing" "What thing, the table have a pile of things, the big blue booknote, the yellow one, the iPad, the remote control ?") and then feel annoyed by my lack of telepathy skills.

Shining_brow:

Apparently, that's just a female thing :D

9 years 22 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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As said above people in China care a lot about the tones, and thus any little change in pronunciation even in another language will make them unable to get what you are saying, in their mind there is only one correct way to speak English, accents or regional dialects are a no no.

People around the world have no problems understanding my English. Except in countries where tonal languages are the norm (China, Korea, ...).

Another thing troubles me, kids and teenagers or young adults in China always understand when I speak putonghua, while a number of adults and elders often ask me to repeat, I guess the saying is true, the older you get the harder it becomes to think out of the box.

rasklnik:

Korean isn't tonal...

9 years 21 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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from a guy whose lived in different parts of Asia about 12 years, I can tell u I finally learned to quit asking what they are saying.  I just look at them and say 'yeah,,, uh huh,,,  yep,,, yeah,,, uh huh,,, yep.'    helluva lot easier on everyone.   surprise

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Least she's trying... I think the worst girls are the ones who are up on their high horse so much that they'll ONLY speak English and refuse to accept that they're Chinese and speak Chinese to you. Especially with friends, Chinese guys and girls have the worst inferiority complex(if I speak Chinese in front of his foreign friends, they'll think I can't speak English). Oh God, pathetic.

 

Bad example below, but you'll get my drift:

 

'Oh I really like to eat sour vegetables, they're great, especially in buns'

'Sorry, what?'

'Sour vegetables, you know?'

'Erm... what's it in Chinese?'

'Oh, you don't know, don't worry'

 

RAGE!

Shining_brow:

"Oh, you mean 'pickled'... yeah, very different meaning".

 

<fume at huge loss of face in front of other people>

 

devil

9 years 22 weeks ago
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djoksi2001:

Oh no Shining-Brow, for someone who commented that they're an IELTS examiner, you certainly didn't examine my answer very well. I think I'll give you back John Woo's 1997 thriller wink.

 

The whole point of that example was that first the Chinese person uses 'sour' not 'pickled'. Second, even after becoming completely confused as to what he/she's trying to say, they still refuse to tell me in Chinese (even though I'd might of known it).

 

God, maybe you need to come to one of my classes so I can go through some reading exercises with you.

9 years 22 weeks ago
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coineineagh:

looks like he did get it, and the classes in patronizing you are offering wil do him no good.

9 years 21 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

Thanks Coin! :)

9 years 21 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Erm... if she says pin pon for pink phone, I don't think that counts as 95% fluent. Her listening might be good, but that doesn't make someone fluent. If no one understands what you're saying you're not 95% fluent are you?

bill8899:

yea 'pin pon' is not even close to '95% or more' fluent. maybe her English just sucks.

9 years 22 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2531

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My wife does that too... very ambiguous with her requests or instructions. 

 

I think a lot of Chinese are like this... why? 

 

Because of their language and thinking. The Chinese language (when in use by the common people) is very vague and more to do with context and guessing. I bet some of you have heard "A Chinese guy would know..."

 

Well chances are... he has a higher chance than a foreigner because of the mentality and growing up in the same society. English in use (on a daily basis) goes through much more vocabulary than Chinese. Also, I notice Chinese to be a little lazy in their descriptions (such as directions, instructions etc.) which uses a ton of "this and that". 

 

Example of my wife:

 

Her: Can you get my phone? 

Me: Well, where is it? 

Her: It's in the living room, I think...

Me: Where in the living room? 

Her: Next to the shelf (there are like 8 shelves). 

Me: Which one? 

Her: Near the window (narrows it down to like 4)

Me: I can't find it... are you sure it is in here? 

Her: Maybe it's in another room. Can you check? 

Me: *Pulls out phone to call it, wishing she just would have admitted she doesn't have a clue in the first place*no

Scandinavian:

yeah, it also reminds me of that post by that other guy

9 years 22 weeks ago
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Shining_brow:

@Scandi - :p :D

9 years 22 weeks ago
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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
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Not with pronunciation or language... but I've got (almost) 2 directly related master's degrees and I'm an IELTS examiner... and can speak in a number of (bad) accents.

 

They wouldn't dare even try to criticise (more likely to ask for help... and then just reject/ignore it).

 

I've only got 1 person who bothers to give me crap about 'my' English... someone who constantly tries talking to me in Chinese, no matter how many times I've said my Chinese is pretty bad... so, now I just ignore her, and she gets exasperated Laughing out loud:D

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9 years 22 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

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Remember the saying that covers all things Chinese

"And this is why we drink" wink

Say with a slier so she can relate to your problem

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9 years 21 weeks ago
 
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no pronunciation problems from my wife, but equally vague descriptions as others mentioned when she gives me fed-ex quests, i.e. go-fetch-this. very little patience with confusion, quick to anger. add the fact that i actually do have 15-30% hearing loss due to burst eardrums from an ear infection in thailand. i learned to take blame and scorn regardless. it's mostly at home, when i dont respond efficiently enough to commands. sometimes i'm not even granted 2 seconds to put down whatever i was holding - drop everything literally. she often concludes with : "so tired to speak english all the time."

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9 years 21 weeks ago
 
Posts: 181

Governor

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Yes, it happens with me too. But after few years, we understand each other perfectly inspite of all the mis-match in pronounciation, grammer or vocabulary!

As seen on this thread, its a universal problem here Smile

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7 years 49 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Not just wives, it's the problem with your girlfriends, Girls trying to talk to you in English, in the bar..

Everywhere.

I think it's the joy of inter-racial marriages...

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7 years 36 weeks ago
 
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