I've been here for 8 years and originally intended to live in Shanghai, but then met my wife and ended up in Nanning. Nanning people are not used to foreigners so the spotlight of attention is very much on those that choose to live here. For that reason, yeh, I often feel a little offish towards people for their intrusiveness, but i'm also more content here than I was in London. I have free time to spend with my family which the hamster-wheel of economic slavery that I was subject to in the west didn't afford me. I'm doing ok and don't feel I have much to complain about. But I do wish to immerse myself in Chinese society more. I study and enjoy interaction with people, even if the conversation is often painfully predictable, but then that's where extending my knowledge of the language comes into play. But am I more anti-social? No, not really. I've always been..........how do I put this? A bit of a c**t.

You know that's a really interesting question and observation about oneself. I wonder about that too and I, like mArtiAn, live in a city that does not have a lot of foreigners so the staring is a tad more than intrusive at times, it's blatantly rude. Now I have a thick skin and can usually smile and say "Nihao" back at  local folk but it does wear thin. I think the fact that you don't speak Chinese fluently and cannot really understand anything that is happening around you can be a little frightening and many times when I want to go out and buy something different other than food (which I now do easily) I elect to stay at home and do my own thing rather than confront the language demons. Having said that, when I do go out to do something that might be complicated by language it has been successfully accomplished most of the time! Even the once a week journey to our local foreigner hang out dies in the arse for me at winter time and I use the excuse that I am hibernating for the season. Winter here is brutal.

But hey, I enjoy staying at home and doing my writing, work on the computer, play a little guitar and watch any movie I like. I'm wondering whether my short bouts of feeling alone would be fixed by having a live in partner or will she impinge on my unlimited freedom. I like the lifestyle I have here but my main concern is that I will get to like it too much and not want to leave for years.

I'd have to say the opposite is true for me.  There's just so many more people here than where I live back in the US.  And like the above two posters, I live in a small town...smaller than there's I would imagine, so the interaction with locals is more or less forced upon you unless you just hermit it up in your apartment (which I can't do!).  I also find it's a lot easier to make friends here, even if the definition of "friend" is a bit different than what we're used to.  You just gotta weed out the ones who are only after a free English lesson or wanting "to do business with a foreigner".

Mind your own business . You looking at me ?

 Hehe 

No, I've always been like this! 

I guess it depends on who is judging. According to, ahem, some folks, i frequently engage in antisocial behavior. My biggest problem is that I never shut up when I feel an injustice has taken place. For this reason, I'm almost always getting into a fiasco with bad people.

But it's definitely made me a lot more social... Well, at least until i spent enough time in Hunan... Then i guess i went full antisocial hulk or something. I'm back to being an introvert... oh my focking bacon... I'm contradicting myself or something. Can't edit in the phone.

I definitely spend way more time at home watching TV shows and DVDs than ever before. I think China's not only making me more anti-social it's actually robbing me of my drive to do useful, meaningful things or be creative.

Hey OP after three years I think it's natural to tire of exploring unknown areas of your city and chatting with anyone. How many times can you answer why you won't go home for Christmas without getting annoyed? 

As for me, I'm a freaking rock star! So, no, I am not more antisocial.