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Posts: 223

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Q: Have you ever almost snapped at someone for starring at you?

We all know how Chinese tend to stare at foreigners. I'm sure we've all had a few staring contests where you are looking someone straight in their eyes hoping they wills top staring and in the end they stare right into your sole and you turn away in defeat.

 

Have any of you ever gotten angry or said something to someone who was staring. I personally have never snapped but after a few years in China I feel myself reaching a breaking point.

 

It's quite annoying when I'm tired or having a bad day and out of the corner of my eye I can see the person stand right next to me just staring at me, when I look over at them they don't budge and they continue to stare. They don't say a single word or a smile or anything, just a long stare.  It's starting to drive me crazy.

 

Anywhere else ever go through this feeling at times ?

11 years 7 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 122

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I normally smile to them in those situations. They will smile back or giggle and stop staring. It doesn't bother me that much, I am more tired of the people saying hello, hello and expecting a reply

 

:

Yeah I agree with this. At least in a place like Beijing the starring is pretty limited. So when it occasionally happens (particularly if its from a cute girl), I'm actually kind of flattered. Less so otherwise, but not enough to ruin my day.

 

Also, I consider the starring fair game for all of the sh*t I've talked about the wacky clothes and hairstyles the locals have in the past. 

11 years 7 weeks ago
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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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My favorite is when there is a group of Chinese people, either a family or group of friends, whatever.  Then one of them will notice you.  They will then sheepishly turn to their friends so they can also marvel at the oddball foreigner in their midst.  I usually make sure I am staring directly at them before they get their heads turned around. If the surprise of the foreigner staring at them first doesn't work, then I'll start waving at them, very excitedly. If they still don't get the hint, then they'll get a sharp "Ni (men) kan shen me kan?!"

 

I've only ever had one person actually reply to that last statement.  It was some dude intent on checking out my junk in the gym locker room.  No idea what he said...but I haven't seen him since.  Damn peter checkers

d0mdeluxe:

haha, I've had this kind of situation soo many times, bu I already look at them with my middle finger up when they are turning their heads. They usually look away embarassed instantly

11 years 6 weeks ago
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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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When I first came to China to get married (9 years ago) the constant staring was rather annoying, it has since then got noticeably better. Heck back then parents would bring their children out to 'see the laowai'. Now it is nowhere near as bad.

However, back in those days it was idle curiosity due to the fact the laowai were very unusual (in Nanning at least), nowadays they just don't have that excuse and most will admit they know it's not polite. 

I have a 'fun' way of reminding the locals that they are being rude, at least if the starer is female I do, just stare back, but stare directly at their breasts. They almost always notice and look away very quickly. 

ambivalentmace:

chinese girls have breasts , damn i live in the wrong city

11 years 7 weeks ago
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manasyt:

If its a girl, I give her a wink, that works well as well

11 years 7 weeks ago
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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
Posts: 791

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When I was first here I was the ONLY foreigner amongst 250,000 citizens so I was fair game. Even now there's only 4 foreign teachers here in this district. I am usually pretty cool with the staring and I tend to stare back at them as well. But, you know, some days, the driving and the traffic and the bad manners gets to me and I admit I have let loose with a mouthful........but I am smiling as I say it. Good release. I feel better!

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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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Last night I was at an ATM machine when a 7 or 8 year-old kid stood behind me and was staring at the screen as I did my transaction. I stopped, turned around and said to him in Chinese (in a nice tone) "if you keep staring I won't do anything and all these people will have to wait." He kept staring and by this time I was getting a little irritated so I sharpened my tone a bit, until he finally decided to scram. All the while his mom was standing nearby making a half-assed effort to tell him to stop staring. I mean really!

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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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I have something I wanted to do when someone stares, but haven't done it yet. I planned to stare back with an angry look and pass my hand vertically in front of my face as I change to a smile, then lower my hand and look angry and raise my hand ,,,,,,,,,,until they laugh.

 

:

Ha ha. Very vivid imagery there.

11 years 7 weeks ago
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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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I just laugh at them when they stare with an angry look. Then I go "Haha. What?" Sometimes I stare back for a long time, but I never win.

 

Got stared at by an idiot in an Audi SUV yesterday, and he hit someone with his car and instead of focusing on the road. I basically said, "Watch where you're going you <bleep> idiot. Seriously, are you <bleep> stupid?"

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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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I just turn my back to them and make it really obvious why I'm doing so. 

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When I get stared at by a guy I will find an attractive lady to look at to make that person look as if he is a gay guy.

And if I get stared at by a lady depending if she's hot or not I might stare back and wink!

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11 years 7 weeks ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
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I find it very intimidating and extremely rude.

There is no excuse for doing it.

Usually, I stare back and if they do not get the message then I will come out with a load of profanities.

Try and make the person lose face, in other words try to embarrass them, in any way possible.

If it is still not clear to them then I will accidentally bump into them or use my walking stick, emphasizing the point !!

I find that most of the staring is done in the poorer areas and by people who appear to be uneducated.

Hugh.G.Rection:

Actually according to Chinese custom if you shout at them then you lose face not them, unless they too shout back.

11 years 7 weeks ago
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11 years 7 weeks ago
 
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only about a million times.....

 

something about it just bugs the sh*t outta me.  I love telling the males that I am not into males...  I tell them I am only into girls,,, that I am not homo...   should see the look on there faces...   I know it takes 99% of them a few hours to realise that I was implying that they were homo for staring at me...  but it is worth it when they do realise.   

diverdude1:

*their

11 years 4 weeks ago
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I also try to make them loose face or just say what are you looking at?. After saying, they start laughing. I just wonder why chinese laugh so much. If I am in the shoop buying stuff I don,t like the shop assistant ask me question, If I say something they also start laughing.

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11 years 4 weeks ago
 
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China is a mono-culture. Foreigners are the most interesting things most people have ever seen in their lives. Imagine live in a super boring, historically agrarian home country and you see a space alien walking down the street. The laughing is a combination of immaturity and racism. So are the "hellooooo!!!"s. Don't be naive.

SoFresh:

I certainly understand why it happens. And the there are certain places/times where I've caught myself staring at a foreigner because of how much they stand out.

 

It can be hard for some foreigners to deal with when  1) in some other countries it's considered rude to stare  and  2) there's those days where you're tired and would prefer to be left alone and go unnoticed.

 

I've never been a famous person but I feel like at times being in China is like having  the negative effects of being famous (no privacy for example)  while none of the positive perks (lots of money and girls) :)

11 years 4 weeks ago
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