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Posts: 139

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Q: Have you ever been in a Chinese wedding?

What kind of gift would be appropriate?!

8 years 18 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Maybe your question should be "have you ever been in a Chinese wedding reception ?"

The actual wedding takes place at the Marriage Bureau, and only consists of filling out forms, showing documentation , giving photo and paying fee (less than 10 kuai). 

 

At a wedding reception, you better bring a red envelope.  Tradition says you should go to bank and get new bills, not give old used ones.  How much to give?  It does depends how well or close you are to the bride, groom or both.  A family member, normally is about 1,000 kuai.  A close friend maybe 600 Kuai, also if it is a close co-worker.  A more distant friend or co-worker maybe 200-300 kuai.

Just bear in mind that as a foreigner, and with all nationals thinking you are a millionaire, you will be invited to many weddings that you may not be very familiar with the participants.  As an example, the lady at China Telecom where I pay my telephone bills invited me when she got married.  I wished her happiness, but did not go to her wedding.  Now, when my brother-in-law got married, it was no way for me to be absent, and to give him a red envelope with a grand inside.

j89:

Very helpful information, thanks :)

8 years 18 weeks ago
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Cash in a red envelope is the usual thing, and I'd say the most appropriate.

j89:

Good idea! but how much to put in red envelope?

8 years 18 weeks ago
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Hotwater:

Depends on how well you know the bride and groom. If just acquaintances then 100-200RMB. If closer friends then more.

8 years 18 weeks ago
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8 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Maybe your question should be "have you ever been in a Chinese wedding reception ?"

The actual wedding takes place at the Marriage Bureau, and only consists of filling out forms, showing documentation , giving photo and paying fee (less than 10 kuai). 

 

At a wedding reception, you better bring a red envelope.  Tradition says you should go to bank and get new bills, not give old used ones.  How much to give?  It does depends how well or close you are to the bride, groom or both.  A family member, normally is about 1,000 kuai.  A close friend maybe 600 Kuai, also if it is a close co-worker.  A more distant friend or co-worker maybe 200-300 kuai.

Just bear in mind that as a foreigner, and with all nationals thinking you are a millionaire, you will be invited to many weddings that you may not be very familiar with the participants.  As an example, the lady at China Telecom where I pay my telephone bills invited me when she got married.  I wished her happiness, but did not go to her wedding.  Now, when my brother-in-law got married, it was no way for me to be absent, and to give him a red envelope with a grand inside.

j89:

Very helpful information, thanks :)

8 years 18 weeks ago
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Chinese weddings are great. There is one being organised in my house at the moment. The old dears are gathered to look at tea leaves, discuss the the lucky couple's physical attributes, and look at the stars.

I hope the elders give the wedding the go ahead. Then I can spring into action as the "guest foreign professional photographer".

I am not a professional photographer of course. But what a fantastic opportunity for me to enjoy my hobby.

Lots of free beer too Smile

Haungbao will be a few hundred RMB. A token gesture to welcome a new bride to the Chen clan. The real fun with Chinese weddings is being part of it.

Me and the wife only go to weddings we are involved in. I stopped being the token foreigner years ago. At one point we had a wedding reception every month because we were invited to have a foreigner. Now we just do the full day wedding invites. Those average one a year.

The great thing about it? The family thing I mean. If you are in the core wedding group, your house is their house, and their house is your house.

The Yangism is gone.

But a good wedding has massive guanxi on offer Smile

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Chinese wedding receptions is good evidence that 5000 years of cultural history has died off. 

ScotsAlan:

No way Scan. The chaos is fantastic at Chinese weddings. The best one I went to was a hometown one where the family forgot to book a car for the bride and groom. Nobody seemed to notice they were last to arrive.

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I've been to three receptions and there won't be any more.  I would describe them as distressing.

Although the Uyghir one was different and not as distressing.  I could potentially go to another one of those I suppose.  

Weddings aren't really my thing.  

 

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2 years in PRC, somehow managed to avoid getting invited to any weddings.

 

 

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A red envelop with cash.

Whatever amount you put, NEVER put 400 kuai.

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8 years 18 weeks ago
 
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