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Q: Have you ever been invited to a Chinese friend's home?
If so, how was the experience?
Invited to one of my American friend's home. We had a little chat about work. He put on some Huey Lewis and the News, discussed the artistry of said music. I enjoyed the plastic sheeting that was strewn around the place. It was once the axe made its appearance that I made my disappearance. Never rely on the power supply in China to keep the music going nor Chinese CDs to play properly if you attempt to sneak up on somebody. Was that what you were after?
blunt:
Erm...thanks
I meant to ask about been invited to a Chinese friend's home, and I dumbly missed out the crucial word
Sinobear:
I see. Yes. We had a game of questions: Do you like Chinese food? Do you like China? Do you like Chinese girls? Can you use chopsticks? How much money do you make? How old are you? Why are you so fat? I gave him my gift of "see-through carpeting" that he helped distribute around his living room. I downloaded an Andy Lau MP3 and cranked it up on his MP4 player. Thanks to the ear buds and the fact that Andy Lau is not discussable as taste-worthy music, he did not notice my approach behind him. I produced a Ginsu knife...as a gift. He almost died as a result of being on the receiving end of such fine Japanese cutlery. The end.
blunt:
Okay. Thanks for the effort. I am asking a genuine question here. Many people here give me an idea that they know very little about the real China. I am just trying to get to know a little more about interactions.
Sinobear:
By asking about "the real China" you, yourself, are implying that there is a certain standard that all would conform to. There is no "real" as you put it...the real China is that everyone can be different and is different once you get past the safe tried-and-true questions that I mentioned above. Why the safe tried-and-true questions? I guess to avoid cultural references (see original response) that go over most peoples' heads like living at the airport.
blunt:
...there is a certain standard that all would conform to...
This is not what I meant or implied. I mentioned real is because I think some people take the coat as the person, that is looking from afar and don't know the real body.
I could be heading wrong directions posting this, but I am trying.
Sinobear:
But you can see by the other replies that such visits are really superficial. It all goes part and parcel with the "let's be friends" approach after the first or second meeting, the "face" value of having a foreigner visit your home, the lack of "deep" meaningful (not to mention reciprocal) friendships. Not trying to aggrieve you, just pointing out that the cultural differences, perceptions and expected outcomes are different when invited/inviting someone to your home.
derek:
yup, when they invite you to their home it feels fake. always,
Actually it was quite amazing!! To say the least we played MAHJONG and ate some fried dumplings.....the dog they had was SO.........Cute! It kept wanting me to pet it. It was FUN!
TedDBayer:
But I find it hard to believe that you were invited. Did you just show up and eventually they asked you to go sit with the dog?
Yes, been to a few places, usually have a feast, with much pijou and that horrible turpentine smelling Baiju stuff! Mahjong is played if we stay in, cards are played, drinking games, kinda like KTV without the awful Karaoke deafening you!
I usually try to bring a bottle of Baiju(with I refuse to drink) They appreciate gifts, and it makes me feel like I'm not taking the piss! They must spent hundreds of yuan on each feast!
Enjoy it! It is a lot of fun!
Yes, several times. As late as yesterday was for lunch at some friends place. To generalize how these events are: Typically it's very nice, I prefer when people don't make a fuss about the fact that I am not Chinese, but rather just treat me as they would any other guest. I like to try the food people serve, it's typically dishes that I would have tried elsewhere, but different people cook it differently. I find it tragic how much alike Chinese homes are, and how similar the "having guests for dinner" experience is in different homes.
Yes, once. It was a young married couple who invited me and my ex-girlfriend to stay at their apartment for a few days, took us to visit scenic spots, the amusement park, eat at posh restaurants, showed me how to prepare Chinese tea and we had long nights discussing and learning about the differences of our respective country and culture. On the second night, when my ex-girlfriend and the husband were already asleep, the wife even offered to have sex with me, but I declined as I thought it would be inappropriate. She was a sweet 23yo hottie from Sichuan. Pretty good experience. They really knew how to be amazing hosts.
Oddly no. They all like to drive me in their cars, but never been invited into their homes. Probably says something about me, though.
I agree with Scandinavian about not being treated like any other guest. I have friends who are like that, and those are the ones that I count as real friends. After being here a long time, the extra treatment and curiosity about mundane things doesnt feel genuine at all.
yes early on in my china adventure went to the home of sb i considered to be my friend. he spent the entire evening questioning my gf as to why she had a black bf. i did not realize it but his daughter sent me a message apologizing for his actions. chinese women are a class. chinese men are gutter oil
Quite a few times!
Most have been a wonderful experience, where we all had a great time.
Some have been a bit fake, where it was a matter of face. Kind of "forced".
For the most part, it has been a nice experience.
Being a rock star in China. I like to treat my Chinese friends like I am one, so the first thing I do is throw their TV out the window. There is never any sense in visiting again as that joke isn't funny more than once.
GuilinRaf:
Ah, the old "chuck the hosts tv outside the window to watch and hear it crash and shatter" ploy!
Very therapeutic indeed, especially after a BCD....
