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Posts: 2531

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Q: Have you ever been labelled an international criminal or accused of something in China?

Have you ever been accused of something just utterly ridiculous in China? So ridiculous that all you could do is just *face palm*? 

 

Well, if you live in China long enough, I assure you you will run into some of the dumbest crap you will ever experience in your life. Today, I was accused of money laundering and indirectly being called an international criminal haha. 

 

My wife and I went to the bank (Bank of China) to open a new account under my name to connect with my PayPal. The woman looked confused and said that according to my name, I am on the anti-money laundering list. She had no clue why or if it was me exactly... but my name (when broken down) was on the list. 

 

So they proceeded to call the government office and nobody knew what was going on (of course... China). We left without opening the bank account and they said they would call us in a few days to find out why... 

 

My only thoughts were:

 

- Someone used my passport info (during my ESL days) to move money around and I got stuck on the list. 

- The women is a complete idiot and the Chinese system is retarded (most likely outcome)

- I was flagged because of my earnings without being connected to a registered company or school (still doesn't make much sense since most of the income flows through my wife's accounts currently and then moved around)

- Because all us laowai are evil and our lives should be made difficult

 

---

 

Anyway, what struck me as funny was that if I was on a list for criminal/illegal activity... why didn't they called the police? Why did they just let me walk out and why couldn't someone automatically find a reason? 

 

China is a clown act that never stops surprising. 

9 years 10 weeks ago in  Money & Banking - China

 
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always have cash on hand and escape plan, china has a very long long border, anything can happen here, unstable stability is the norm.

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9 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Anyway, as a conclusion... I highly suggest to all you ESL teachers and people living here to move the majority of your funds to a safe bank account in your home country. 

 

Don't leave all your earnings in a Chinese bank... sure bankers are people not to trust but Chinese banker/tellers are on an entirely different level. 

 

Oh btw, while I was being accused of money laundering (well my three names, first, middle and last but not my name when used in its entirety...) some guy rolls into the bank and wants to deposit 2 millions RMB to send to someone. 

 

They were like NO, you can only send 190k RMB. Then he kicks over his case and and huge pile of money reveals itself. He is like "zhe ge tai ma fan le!" Then gets up and leaves. Stupid on so many levels... 

 

- why reveal you are carrying around that much money, please mug me? 

- why can't they take deposits larger than 190k? 

- why am I considered suspicious when this guy is lugging around 2 mil RMB  in a crappy suitcase all by himself...? 

 

Mei you wei shen me... 

dgz:

I completely agree with you. Chinese banks do nothing to entice expats, but we go to them because there is no other option. 

9 years 9 weeks ago
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9 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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That did happen to two guys I knew in ShangHai a few years back. They just went (one block over) to another Bank of China that did not consider them international criminals, and proceeded as normal.

Yes, the Chinese system is that freaking retarded.

Robk:

Yeah, I have accounts at two other large banks. 

 

These morons insisted that I was in some kind of huge government database. 

 

To think THESE people are hanging onto people's money is a VERY scary thought. I would rather stick it all under my mattress than deal with these fools.

9 years 10 weeks ago
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Stiggs:

It's strange how one bank can be efficient and reasonably competent but another branch of the same bank three streets away will have no idea how to do anything and be completely useless other than having an ATM machine out the front.

9 years 10 weeks ago
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RachelDiD:

Banking in China is terrifying. Almost as scary as handing your passport over to the drooling nimrods who process visas. I just do it so I can immediately send the funds to PayPal. When my wallet got stolen, I went to ICBC for a new card. 'Give me 10 RMB for processing fees,' said the lovely twit behind the counter. 'I don't have 10 kuai in cash right now--my wallet was stolen.' She looks at me like I am an intractable child. Why do I not have the cash? I explain to her that, much like herself, I keep my cash in my wallet. Furthermore, this is becoming a bit of a Catch-22, since I cannot get the cash to pay for a new bank card without the bankcard. So, after connecting alll those dots for her, I finally got her to do the only thing any rational ICBC employee could do. Which is, of course, to force me to take out a loan for 10RMB. It is not lost on me that every China expat who hears this story believes it, and my family back at home thinks I am pulling their legs.

9 years 10 weeks ago
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9 years 10 weeks ago
 
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I never got called a money launderer before but I did have an obnoxious racist old hag abusing me once in a market and telling everyone who would listen that I had come to China to steal Chinese people's money.  I suppose that would make me an international criminal.

 

 

Robk:

Haha... I have had that too. Some old woman would stand outside areas where foreigners lived and would scream and yell to anyone that would listen that foreigners took her job away and foreigners are evil.... 

 

 

9 years 10 weeks ago
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Stiggs:

Haha yeah it always seem to be the old ... I was about to say ladies but they don't act very ladylike.

 

Maybe that was one of the slogans they chanted back when they were in the red guard or something, you don't seem to hear that particular line of crap from younger people.

9 years 10 weeks ago
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9 years 10 weeks ago
 
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Just a follow up... 

 

They called my wife and told her I was not in the system. I am not longer an international criminal and I don't travel like a James Bond villain on super yachts while ordering hits. 

 

BIG SURPRISE. But what is more annoying is that they didn't apologize at all (figures) or show any sort of anticipation of correcting their mistake by inviting us down to open an account. 

 

I guess I expect too much from Chinese customer service... if I had to compare it... it would be similar to if an eight year old child drank paint thinner, while being hit on the head repeatedly with hammer. All the while thinking they are somehow never wrong, can never apologize, yet lie and cheat constantly. During all of which, have obviously no clue what they are doing but in their minds they are the most valuable person in the company... if not the world. 

 

Yeah that about sums it up. I have been in China for over 8 years and I can count the number of Chinese people I decently like on one hand. Lots of winners here!  

 

  

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Shifu

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I have never been accused but someone I know is going through quite the ordeal. He left a notorious school (agency actually) that is infamous for cheating people in the North East. Upon his leaving, the school filed two criminal charges against him for pedophilia and ivory smuggling. Both completely unfounded accusations. He only left the agency in the first place was because they tried to make him work on his day off without paying OT. This is something that would scare me if I ever step on too many people's toes - how hard would it be to brand someone a pedo? Give hong bao to a couple peasants who hate foreigners to claim that the foreigner touched their kid. I'm sure this kind of thing has happened. 

Robk:

It has, I could tell you stories. 

 

Some foreigners have died from schools that paid thugs to "teach them a lesson". 

 

They are just very seriously covered up to make China appear peaceful and harmonious to attract foreign investors (the money but not foreigners themselves, China doesn't really want those). 

9 years 9 weeks ago
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9 years 9 weeks ago
 
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always have cash on hand and escape plan, china has a very long long border, anything can happen here, unstable stability is the norm.

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9 years 9 weeks ago
 
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