What is by-the-by? DO you mean by the way? And yes I've seen something like that before except it was an elderly lady on a bus and a young man. The elderly lady did the pimp slap to the young guy except in my story the person that was slapped fought back. It was pathetic the elderly lady slapped the 20 something year old man and the man slapped the lady back, but the slap was so embarrassing I got off the next stop and watched them arguing as I walked away!! (!

I've had arguments with women about things in China, like men get married and go for massage, hitting women. They just accept this as life in China, they don't know better. And I can never win an argument in China cause I'm a stupid foreigner. I don't know how to convince them that I'm not stupid, just crazy.

I'm sure she could find guys who won't hit her, but judging by her reaction she probably subconsciously feels like she deserves to be hit. This could be learned from an abusive boyfriend, teacher, father, mother, etc, and it's hard to get rid of without a really good therapist or social worker. That, or she's trapped in the relationship somehow and is trying to make the best of it.

I've seen this situation a more than a few occasions. I learned in year one while living in Harbin not to intervene either. I tried the gallant approach and was quickly told that it was none of my business by both parties involved. So now when I see it, I still make a judgment call in my mind but I'm usually persuaded to walk away by whoever is with me. My wife would never let me get in the middle and just a few days ago, two of my students wouldn't let me get involved. Instead, they made a token effort but to no avail.

in china women are taught that their abusive fathers/ bf/ husbands have legit excuses. work pressure/ women are disabled/ women have bad tempers (emotional, crying is a sign of a "bad temper") 

men are taught they can do anything they want because they are men. women are taught they must accept the bad behavior of men because men are men..  it really is like living in the stone ages.

if you want to get in the way, do it the right way, look at the man and say in chinese, i knew you men were cowards and beat women and children , because you could not fight the japanese and ran like dogs, but dont you think your a better man 80 years later.

that usually is a good time to break the beer bottle and salute caesar.

hail caesar, we who are about to die salute thee.

I've seen something like this a couple of times. And like derek says, when you witness this in company of Chinese people, the response is not to intervene. I witnessed a guy punch (not slap) a woman right in the face, then a knee in the stomach, then she was pushed to the ground. The comment from the locals "maybe she doesn't mind" While that may be true, the woman could have accepted her role as a punchbag in this society, someone should still tell the guy what a lowlife he is. 

One does have to wonder how weak and pathetic the average Chinese man is; since the only person’s ass he can kick is the woman in his life. The odds that this civilization will ever advance much beyond where it is now are really quite small unless they embrace women as equals.

Between the gender based abortions and their women finding foreign men desirable for obvious reasons. It’s only a matter of time before Chinese men are left to f_ck themselves or another man anyway.

The sad thing is that the law simply considers it to be a family matter. Thinking like that and the way parents dump their children into a school system for 10 to 15 years instead of raising them, themselves makes you wonder where this country will be in another 20 years. Just recently I read an article that acknowledged the fact that 60 million children being abandoned by their parents just for the sake of money may cause problems in the future. Really ? How is it that this country/society is considered to be based on the family unit?

I've heard about this before, and I hope I never witness it. I think the law permits it, but not in public because of the losing face issue. It's kind of like in America early on, men could beat their wives in the privacy of their own home and it was acceptable, but once it became observed in public it was a crime.

The law doesn't really protect women's right here, yet it's getting better as violent cases like this have drawn more attention to the public and the government. Still there's a long way to go. If I were the lady, there's no way I would put up with such a looser. No one gets the right to slap or hurt anyone, it's just not ok.

Sadly this is a problem everywhere in the world.  There are countless women in America and other western countries who put up with physical and mental abuse from men.  I can't explain how it happens or why so many women accept it, but they do.  A lot of time it jus comes down to their insane amount of love for the person I think, once you have children it can become even worse because the women doesn't want to destroy the family by leaving.

Now as far as China goes.  There's still less rights for women and they still aren't treated as equally as other places in the world.  So even though physical abuse happens everywhere in the world, I do think it happens more often in China than in the west.

Also in the west someone the restaurant probably would have called the police or gone over and yelled at the husband/boyfriend.  In China people don't dare get involved with someone elses problems usually. 

I just want to also add that while I don't condone hitting women and most of the time it's wrong.  I do think there are some cases where people overreact to a women simply getting slapped.

When I was growing up if I did something wrong my mom would slap me , it didn't hurt and it didn't cause damage but it taught me that I was doing something wrong.

Let's a say a women was cheating, or stole money, or just flat out did something really wrong.  Is it really that horrible than for a man to give or a little slap.  

There is a big difference between physical abuse and "beating" someone and the occasional slap to let your family know you're out of line. 

That's life in China. Macho culture much more than other places and girls & women accepting to live like that. I've seen stuff similar like the one you say.

The only time when a woman should be slapped is when she is asking for it because she has been a naughty girl in the bedroom