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Q: Have you managed to stay in touch with expats who left China?
I've met so many people here who've come and gone but so far I have managed to stay in touch with about 1% of those I'd befriended in China. Have you stayed in touch with the friends who came and went here?
10 years 35 weeks ago in Relationships - China
no, but so far all my expat friends have stayed put
Facebook and SMS.
They have this technology available in other countries too.
It is very difficult indeed, it requires a lot of energy, with low possibility of mutual benefits which come from real friendships. That is why I don't befriend short term expats and exchange students on more than casual "friendship".
NiceBrice:
Interesting. I've spoken to other people who said the same. While I agree with what you're saying I do think it's a shame that friendship isn't a selfless act for most people. The fact that one must calculate the mutual benefits is just sad in my opinion but I know that's how most people think.
McDominic:
Indeed friendship shouldn’t be calculative, but the reality is, that short term ½-1 year expats will leave, just when friendship could be brought to the next level. They will be together again with their long term friends and families at home, while long term expat have to develop new friendships yet again. Expat life is lonely enough as it is, and with having no long term friends around who one can rely too, it can deepen loneliness even more.
That said, I guess it is fine to have a casual drink or two with, change some experiences and so forth, but having a stable long term friends around can help one get through difficulties of expat life way better. I had my share of short term friends, who were good people, but when they left we had problems to maintain stable contact. There is a significant energy spent on maintaining old friends and family from back home already.
You also don’t get remarried every year too, do you, well most don’t. :)
No, but I'm usually not a "keep in touch" kind of person. I do have a few expats on my social networking accounts and sometimes it is good to see what they are up to, but I don't "keep in touch".
