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Q: Have you turned your wife/gf into a racist?
My wife is really beginning to hate chinese. And i dont think its a front for the laowai crowd.
It started slowly. Before she was sooo quiet, and then slowly agreed with me every time i spazzed on someone. Now shes doing the freaking out at people.
She notices and gets pissed at things she never would have before. If someone is pissing in the street shell walk up and give em hell. If people are staring shell tell them where to stick it. Ect.
Even her relationships with her friends are suffering. If theu act to farmery she calls them out. Talking about prada or shit. Not saying thank you.
This has greatly improved our relationship, as we think alike on pretty much all levels. But shes alone alot now. Both by her choice and im assuming her old friends.
Has anyone else experienced this?
As much as I get pissed about things in China, I'd think it's a bad thing if my wife was like that. What then when we live in my home country, should I be turned into a selfhating tard ?
expatlife26:
Yeah but theres a difference in behavior between here and any of those nice scando countries.
its not about being selfhating or anything on principal its more like "hey these people do kinda suck you're right."
I don't think its a case of just starting to hate everyone/everything, rather a case of now having someone to share this already existing anger with. We all know how patriotic and brainwashed some Chinese are, so it's probably a relief for some of them to find someone who they can express their thoughts with openly without being called a traitor. I would never say my country is the best in the world and that it has no problems. Hell, I tell my gf quite often of the problems with the people and culture of my country.
With regards to her losing friends, that's just part of the process of waking up from the Matrix. If you ask her, I'm sure many of her friends told her not to date a foreigner. The ones she lost because her "thinking has changed" are probably the very patriotic and/or non open-minded. When they gain the ability to be able to talk openly about problems with their country, they will inevitably lose some of their friends because they never realised they had such different views on the topic as they never spoke of it. Every knows you don't talk about what's wrong with China.
Same here but I take no credit. She's HKer.
Good to know there's always a little hate to be shared in the world.
My wife has had a similar change in attitude since meeting me. She notices things that ruins her day. For example, she will come back from shopping angry because of the ignorant and rude conduct of her countrymen. Her opinions and tastes have also changed and she can barely endure her visits back to the countryside to visit her family. I often need to remind her of where she came from and how she used to think and not to be so hard on them.
My wife notices things she would not before, because I rant about those : rude attitudes or disregard for others. She still have good relationships with her friends, but then, her friends are not the kind to speak about Prada bags, they are a tad deeper than that.
My wife also noticed, among Chinese living abroad, a form of hate of all things Chinese. She told me some people just reject all things Chinese in disgust. She despise this kind of attitude a lot, thinking it's ridiculous and unhealthy. Can't agree more with her...
My wife spent 9 years in the UK from the age of 16, when we moved to Shanghai in 2012 her reverse culture-shock made her more anti-Chinese than me. Now we're both growing steadily more racist together. I don't know if this is a positive thing...
expatlife26:
I noticed what your talking about too ben, some ethnic chinese take bad behavior more personally than we might. Like a sense that it reflects badly on them.
ill be in HK and mention I live in a mainland city and they always start with "how can you live THERE?" as though they feel the need to distance themselves from the kinda stuff that bugs us.
My theory on that was always that people cutting in line might piss me off, but no one is gonna mistake me for that kind of person. Somebody that looks the same as them can take it a bit more personally.
My wife is Chinese so she was racist well before I met her
Just back from 1,5 month in Europe, my wife had a worse shock than me.
I've reported all of you to the Dep't of UnHadleyj Activities!
Oh, and I agree with Xunliang.
My wife is at the halfway stage, lots of things annoy her but she doesn't get too verbal about them. However she and her mum, who is nearly eighty, both say the biggest problem with China is the sheer number of rude, ignorant people here, and they don't mean foreigners.
