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Posts: 97

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Q: Having a mistress - sign of success in China?

been reading so many stories here of this or that official being caught in this or that scandal, got me wondering if the one telltale sign of success for men in China was having a mistress? Is that a sure indicator that you've "made it"?

9 years 7 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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having full time mistresses is just the way it is in most countries, kinda like have to keep the old bag wife and still be happy.
why so hung up on this subject, men have mistresses, everyone seems to note. do you not think married women fool around,, many wives are someone elses mistress.
Married women never get upset if you don't phone, don't want you to meet the parents after a week.

why are threesomes not brought up?

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9 years 7 weeks ago
 
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哎。。。。it is true.

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9 years 7 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9206

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having full time mistresses is just the way it is in most countries, kinda like have to keep the old bag wife and still be happy.
why so hung up on this subject, men have mistresses, everyone seems to note. do you not think married women fool around,, many wives are someone elses mistress.
Married women never get upset if you don't phone, don't want you to meet the parents after a week.

why are threesomes not brought up?

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9 years 7 weeks ago
 
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An article from the NY times on mistresses in China:

BEIJING — Jian, a 42-year-old property developer in the booming southern metropolis of Shenzhen, had acquired just about everything men of his socioeconomic ilk covet: a Mercedes-Benz, a sprawling antique jade collection and a lavishly appointed duplex for his wife and daughter.

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Liu Zhijun, a former railway minister, had 18 mistresses, a government document suggested.
Imaginechina, via Associated Press

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Xu Maiyong, a former vice mayor executed for embezzlement, reportedly had dozens of mistresses.

It was only natural then, he said, that two years ago he took up another costly pastime: a beguiling 20-year-old art major whose affections run him about $6,100 a month.

Jian, who asked that his full name be withheld lest it endanger his 20-year marriage, cavorts with his young coed in a secret apartment he owns, a price he willingly pays for the modern equivalent of a concubine.

“Keeping a mistress is just like playing golf,” he said. “Both are expensive hobbies.”

As China has shed its chaste Communist mores for the wealth and indulgences of a market-oriented economy, the boom has bred a generation of nouveau-riche lotharios yearning to rival the sexual conquests of their imperial ancestors. Even the Chinese term for mistress — “ernai,” or second wife — harks back to that polygamous tradition of yore.

Judging from the embarrassing revelations to emerge in recent months, such arrangements appear to be commonplace among the corporate titans, rags-to-riches entrepreneurs and government officials whose inordinate and sometimes ill-gotten gains can maintain one or more lovers — many of whom are sustained through stipends, furnished apartments and luxury sports cars.

But these relationships — and their sometimes messy devolutions — have ignited a growing backlash as the public stews over the incessant tales of morally compromised officials, greedy lovers and vengeful wives regularly splashed across newspapers and published on the Internet — unless censors get to them first.

In July, Xu Maiyong, the former vice mayor of the capital of Zhejiang Province, Hangzhou, was executed for bribery and embezzlement worth more than $30 million. Nicknaming him “Plenty Xu,” the Chinese press reported that he kept dozens of mistresses.

Just a few weeks before, an official in Jiangsu Province and his mistress were caught making detailed plans for a hotel-room rendezvous on the microblog Weibo after mistakenly believing their messages were private.

In February, Railway Minister Liu Zhijun, a 58-year-old with a combover, was removed from his post after news reports said he had embezzled $152 million over the years. But a leaked directive from the Central Propaganda Bureau revealed a more salacious side to his misconduct: “All media are not to report or hype the news that Liu Zhijun had 18 mistresses.”

A month earlier, the mistress of a party official in Guangdong Province sentenced to death in a $4.5 million bribery scandal was herself jailed for the Land Rover and property she had received from him.

And in one of the most shocking cases, an official in Hubei Province was detained in December on suspicion of strangling his mistress — then pregnant with twins — and dumping her body in a river after she demanded he marry her or pay $300,000, according to media reports.

The phenomenon has been an official concern for some time now. In 2007, China’s top prosecutor’s office said that 90 percent of the country’s most senior officials felled by corruption scandals in previous years had kept mistresses.

Faced with a spate of legal disputes between mistresses and their lovers over money and with growing public disgust that threatens to tarnish its authority, the Communist Party is trying to stanch the mistress tide through carrots and sticks aimed at women and men alike.

The Supreme People’s Court has considered a draft interpretation of the country’s marriage law that would for the first time acknowledge mistresses, stating that they have no legal right to their patron’s money, property or other expensive trinkets, legal experts said. Likewise, married men would not be able to use the courts to regain the cash and other niceties they had lavished on affairs gone bad.

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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this are the true "traditional" values they keep talking about

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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In the most cases, the full-time mistress is a good way to legalize or transform some of income. Tongue

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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nope, not success, more like 腐败

when I know of someone who have a mistress (albeit man or woman) I don't automatically think "wow, he/she must be sucessful." I will think what a narcisistic unconfident pety sad excuse for a human being he/she is.

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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You are right Diaphragme, it is wrong to think mistress equals success, but the way you think is wrong. My Chinese girlfriend is a bit like you and Wenna, maybe drinking a bottle of red wine can make you understand and amend for being wrong.

To be really successful you have to acquire the "Work hard, party hard" mentality. By working harder, you have moar productivity, thus being able to reduce work hours and allowing them moar breaks. For my minions to relax, they practice their jazz hands, hand in the air wave dance moves while the most daring ones try and go for the spin-o-rama. During these breaks, they don't think about work, so when it's over they can be moar ready.

If I had mistresses - and I really love my Chinese girlfriend - I wouldn't be able to check everything is doing fine at work and implement my reforms.

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9 years 6 weeks ago

Getting halp from moar and moar people is like spin-o-rama high-fiving new friends on answers.echinacities.com with a tip of the hat finishing move.

 
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I'm getting a bumper sticker for my car: "My other toy has tits"

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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MrTibbles... If your other toy has tits then we can only assume she's not Chinese... Laughing out loud

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Many of my Chinese girl friends have said if the man is rich, it's accepted and understood that he will have mistresses. I would say about half of those have even gone so far to say if they were the wives, they wouldn't mind it. Puzzled

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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It's sad to see people take mistresses like they're just another toy. A car can't give you venereal diseases! Imagine the rich man, sleeping with a dozen other women. One of them has chlamydia. Before you know it, the man, his wife and the other 11 mistresses get infected. Now try the same with pinworms crawling up your bum-bum.

The worse in all that is that none of them will get treated because they will be scared to lose face. I can understand this, but you don't joke with venereal diseases, people need to talk about pinworms without shame!

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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Judging by the number of balding, beer-bellied 50 year-olds to have flaming mistresses, I'd say yes.

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9 years 6 weeks ago
 
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2 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Pinworms!
Up the bum-bum.
I agree that it needs to be talked about without shame.
Scream it from the rooftops. Pinworms crawling in the bum-bum!

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2 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Would love to have loads of mistresses! The thought of it gets me going.

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2 years 9 weeks ago
 
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Minor Official

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Yes

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2 years 9 weeks ago
 
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That recent SMCP story is just showing so much wrong. How disrespectful of the guy, how irresponsible of both getting into that situation on the car, what's up with the dude recording the woman in the car. 

 

The fact that the car keeps moving, guy should be put to prison, but he will not be, it's the silly woman thats having a female moment. So all is well. 

 

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2 years 9 weeks ago
 
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1 year 51 weeks ago
 
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A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs