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Q: is he interested in me?
I'm European and this guy who I used to work with is Chinese.
He is very shy and over a space of a few months we developed a friendship. It started with stares and glances across the room and then he started talking to me. He has shown interest in me by asking questions about my future and getting to know my culture. And vice versa I have shown interest in his life. I know Chinese men don't date casually.
Before Christmas I discovered he's leaving our office for a new role so I decided to text him and ask him out for dinner before I go back home.
He replied really quick and we set a date. The dinner was fun, easy going, friendly. He paid at the end which I see as a good sign.
While I was back home for christmas I decided to connect with him on Weibo. Which is like the Chinese facebook. He still hasn't accepted my "friendship" and I'm starting to feel a bit worried. Because he's accepted other people who added him around the same time as me. I'm starting to think that I'm different or a bit special because he's not so quick to add me. Is he just being cool?
When I returned to China the other day. I text him and say hi, bla bla and said if he wanted to meet up next week. He said he is busy. I believe him because he is moving house and jobs. I'm just a bit confused because he has showed so much interest and I very much doubt he would change his mind so quickly.
Any thoughts? Is he processing emotions? A western friend said he might be thinking about the future and may need some space...if he wasn't interested he wouldn't reply? Hmmm I'm confused because he has shown so much interest in me...and interested in my future, etc
I will definitely give him at least a week away from me....
12 years 15 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Well, you had a dinner together, alone. That's a sign in the direction of a relationship. He may like you, but maybe he is not actually interested in a relationship. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration, such as what his parents think, whether he thinks a foreigner would be a suitable wife, etc. Or maybe, recently he has found another girl to date, and is avoiding you.
Him paying for dinner is a cultural thing and has nothing to do with whether he likes you or not. Some guys will be very interested in your future, but that also doesn't mean he wants to date you, he may just be friendly. If you really want to know, you should ask him, because obviously what you have done so far has given you no answers. Only pursue him if you are totally serious and ready to show him that your future can coincide with his. It might take more on your part to show that you're serious compared to a Chinese girl.
dragoncake79:
I liked your response...although confused by the end! So you mean by more obvious compared to a Chinese girl? I'm also confused by him because he isn't treating me like a friend. It just seems a bit different!!
