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anonymous
Q: Hey ,I'd like to say something for Chinese women
Myself,a Chinese woman who married An Australian man. I'd like to share some ideas with you guys about Chinese women and Western guys as well.
I joined this website early of this month and I spend some time to check some questions and answers here every day. I'd say,some are interesting and some are not, some guys complain about how awful their girlfriends are, like they like to spend a lot of money to buy expensive stuff,cheat on them or get out of China by finding a western boyfriend. I am so curious how did you guys find these girls? I bet you found them in a club,that explains, I don't mean that all girls are bad in the club,no doubts ,you can still find a few nice girls there. If I was single ,I would never find a guy in a club,but somewhere nice and decent.long term relationship is what I want,No one night stand. So if you are just looking for fun,not serious, so,stop complaining about how awful are the Chinese girls and western guys please .the chance you found a nice guy or a nice woman is so limited.I am getting sick of reading these questions here. It's difficult to find the right one in any country.
How to find a nice Chinese woman or nice western guy? Here you go,you can meet them at a library，book shop,church,coffee shop or even online(you have to be careful with online people tho,some losers are around and some nice people there too),I met my husband online.both of us were looking for friends to expand our knowledges by chatting with people from different countries. We were friends first,then good friends,then partners and finally we are a couple.we have been knowing each other for nearly 2 years and been living together in real for 1 year then got married. We always go dutch before married ,Its great. I married him for true love,Not for money or green card as some guys said in this website before,none of them, Honestly,My husband is not rich either, But I don't care as long as he works hard.That's more important.
always remember that Its so hard to find the right one in any country, especially you two are not from the same country,It takes more time.otherwise,you won't value her or him that much.
Good luck.
11 years 29 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Good post; well said; needed to be said. Welcome to the forum.
maggiegirly:
Thanks, MissA. Hope you have a good time in China as well.
Createach:
and the Rocking Girl emerges Victorian and shows her own............Cheers Maggie
maggiegirly:
LOL What If your wife finds here one day? so be ready.
Thanks ,I will post more the next. and welcome to answer.
I agree with you entirely, it is unfortunate but there are all too many western men who stereotypically come to China in the hope of finding a delicate Chinese rose to take as a bride but make the mistake of thinking Cupid spends most of his time flitting around shooting his arrows at drunken revelers in night clubs. And for those guys i'd like to say this; "That's not Cupid, stupid, that's just some regular old dwarf, you've had too much to drink!" That's not to say you can't catch love by the tail in a night-club, you just have to be careful you don't catch anything else in the process. But I myself met my wife in China, though it wasn't in a library as I can't read; I have my wife write all my posts on here by dictation - so I guess she's my........dictator. Didn't meet her in a bookshop either, I only go in those places to buy wrapping paper, and it certainly wasn't a church, the last time I went inside one of those I burst into flames. As for a coffee shop, no, the patrons of coffee houses tend to annoy me: smug bastards with their mochalartespresos and fancy PCs. Nope, I met my wife in a good old fashioned whorehouse, just as mother always said I would. Okay, i'm joking, I met her in a school we both taught in. Just another reliably stereotypical way for westerners to meet their wives.
lokethebloke:
Wow for somebody who can't read or write you are remarkable,very clever and very very funny. Reading what your wife writes for you makes me happy. Thank you. You and your wife are very lucky to have each other. Not so sure about Createach and his better half though, he seems to have little respect for his betters.
mArtiAn:
Haha, Createach is ok, I think he's just being defensive on behalf of America. Maybe he's got American friends. You do tend to rag on the ol' stars and stripes a bit, y'know. Not that it bothers me mind, I understand where you're coming from. I used to speak as negatively about England. As Lennon said, "America is the Rome of the modern world." Pretty easy to take a crack at, neither was built in a gentle way any more than they were built in a day. Sure God has a plan, he's certainly got a strange sense of humour.
and why are you anonymous posting this?!!!!..........Show yourself lady cause you ROCK.............I agree with everything you just said and to top that all....I did not get a GF from the club but still got some problems with her..Not complaining though just saying to relief myself........God bless you lady and May your life be always Happy
maggiegirly:
LOL,Thanks,man,actually,I am surprised that my name doesn't show up When I post this message,But it shows my name when I add a comment here,Its so weird.
Well,No couple is perfect, like you said still have some small problems with gf ,it happens to us too,but no big problems. so I guess its alright.
God bless you and your gf.a happy ending hopefully.
Createach:
Now am tearing like a small baby.........Anyone fancy a hug?!!!!!!!
lokethebloke:
Be careful ladies, this person is not what he seems, he has no respect for his elders and betters.
Createach:
I do have..............For you specially.......Mate i just like to play around.....No need to take it that serious..........Cheer up and i know you are more respectful than me and you speak better English than me even you are a better Englishman to say the truth.........Just felt like having fun for a bit sir....My apologies and i wish you can forgive this young foolish child in your presence
Well said.
Too many people come here with wild expectations of women with complete ignorance of the cultural differences.
a Chinese girl dated me in Tongi University, we started as friends,then she told me she likes me and she would like me to be her boyfriend, I accepted because i liked her too, then after being to together for three months, she suddenly worked in my dorm and told me she would like us to keep distance because she has told her mum about our relationship and her mum does not agree with it, I don't know the reason why.
here in Nanjing I have experienced similar case where I went to make a performance,a very beautiful Chinese girl was also doing the same and she came and sat beside me and I liked her but did not tell her,after the performance I accompanied her to her dorm and she told me "I know you like me, I like you too" I honestly did not believe her because of the experience in shanghai and she had a boyfriend too,and her boyfriend suddenly left her and she wanted to forget him, so i invited her out in Helen's bar to help her alleviate her anxiety,then after taking some drinks, I found a place for us to sit, people where too many and we had to share the seat with a couple of Chinese and another single guy, after sometimes we chatting and drinking together with those guys,the single guy began to chat with her for too long and I did not care since I wanted her to enjoy her night. when it was time for us to come back, she then told me she doesn't want to return with me,she wants to be with that guy and I should come alone she will be ok! as simple as that, these made me not to date any other Chinese girl, of course I know not everyone is the same but experience is the best teacher,for those of you who has found good ones good luck to you.'
maggiegirly:
Obama,I am so sorry to hear that. unfortunately,it happens to a lot of girls like you said,If she's from a traditional family,I am so lucky that My parents are open minded,they support me all the time and they do know that they can not control me at all cause I am very independent ,Nobody can stop me liking someone but myself . So my parents always tell me,look before you leap,don not be sorry for yourself. I never thought I would married a westerner either,but things just happend to me.I remember when I told my parents that I was seeing a western guy at the first time,They were not surprised and said,really? look before you leap.Go with your heart . after a while,my dad told me that he has a request for my western bf,then told me he'd better learn some basic mandarin,so that we can talk and tell him , take care of my daughter. I was deeply touched by them.My parents are just so amazing.
So,My point is,you need to find a Chinese girl who is independent and have her own ideas for things,Not listening to her parents if she thinks its right. or her family must be open minded.otherwise ,its not going to work out.
Good luck.
Thank you maggiegirl for a very astute post. It needed to be said and to have any affect it really needed to be said by a Chinese lady. You will, I hope, notice that the 'usual suspects' who regularly decry China and the Chinese are notable by their absence. No doubt they will soon return and then the tone of this thread will, no doubt, degenerate.
philbravery:
Dont be so negative
like Bettlejuice say to many times and they will turn up
just be happy about reading something good for a change
Good post. But I think most of them just want to vent and complain. Not a big deal
I met a "working girl" that I was just crazy about. All that did was drive her price up to 2000. Anytime I phoned her she was sitting at home alone, She said she loved money, so if I give her money she will give me love. I wouldn't pay her, phoned her alot tho.
maggiegirly:
Money can buy love？ That‘s so LAME. you should definitely stop chasing that girl straight away,she's not looking for a nice guy,but money.
What I said,Meeting nice Chinese girls or nice western guys at a library ,book shop ,church or coffee shop ONLY would be a good start. other things are all up to you guys.you need to figure out on your own whether he or she is good or bad, its all your choices.
Be smart.
Sorry, wrong post....
GuilinRaf:
No, i mean, the answer I gave here was for a different post.
There are good an bad people in every country. I met some of both in China and just recently broke up with a girl who waited 6 months to tell me she was married! Strange but true. She was from Chongqing and said she married only to remain in Beijing and avoid financial stress. Her Beijing husband inherited a modest apartment from his parents and according to her "love" was never a factor. But she claimed to love me "heart and soul" and forever questioned me about life in America and what kind of jobs she could get there because she is fluently bi-lingual. When I finally stated that my work would keep me in China another five years - guess what? Need I explain... (She is now chasing after another American guy!)
GuilinRaf:
Yeah, it happens everywhere. Here in China, oftentimes the expat is lonely and thus more easily tricked because he/she is feeling vulnerable emotionally. And yes, there are also expats who victimize the locals...
