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Posts: 981

Shifu

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Q: How to best deal with a prejudiced person?

I've come across a lot of people like this.  One example was a girl that every time I met her talked at great length about an American she'd heard of somewhere who kept beating his wife (doubtful he existed), and how that clearly meant all foreigner men are abusive and cruel...  You know the type - idiots.  Sometimes unfortunately due to work or personal relationships you have to just put with these d*ckheads as best as you can.  What do you do?  Are you silently reciting the phone number for your favourite hitman?

10 years 34 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Posts: 3837

Emperor

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I just enjoy listening to people talk, especially when their opinions are based on propaganda (from any country). Sometimes i help them dig the hole deeper before pointing out obvious flaws in their argument. For example if someone says to me "in YOUR country this happens." I then can say "does that mean you are saying I am......." Their look of confusion can be priceless ! smiley I try to encourage people having opinions based on their own experiences, rather than repeating second hand opinions.

happywanderer:

Ah your answers are always wise.  I usually try and better myself too, and fail.  (Still secretly hoping to hear you swear one day... devil)

10 years 34 weeks ago
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sorrel:

not always wise, sometimes I allow the hole-digging to continue because I am evil ;o)

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Posts: 4495

Emperor

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I answer in four different ways, depending on whom it is that I am interacting with.

 

I.  gf/wife:  

yep, you are right. I totally agree. I love that about you baby, that you are so smart.  You analyse and see things most people don't. I love u sweety.

 

II.  dickhead looking to insult:  

whatever they are talking about, I cite a local occurence. exp. school shooting in USA; school stabbing in Hangzhou.  

Assault in US. Police response- close to guaranteed. Assault in China. Police response- rare.

 

III.  common lame-brain:  

hardest to deal with,,, I equivocate a lot.  tell them that yes, what they heard may be true,,,,, but that doesn't mean everybody is that way. for example, many of my young Asian friends want to travel in the USA, and they ask me if it is safe, etc.  I try to then go into some details about the why's and wherefore's..  I explain if you are here or there and doing this or that, sure it can be dangerous,,,,, but if you are at the other here or there and doing the other this or that,, it is probably not dangerous.  exp..  I lived a Middle-class (upper) existence for maybe 30 years in the USA and never encountered the violence, danger most speak of (yes, I realize that I could have).

 

IV.  Father:  

Yes Sir.

djangolee:

perfect answer!I love the last one most.but usually I will plus "another beer?"

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Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Bang your head on a wall four times and say ''make them go away''.

happywanderer:

Ah the voices

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Posts: 138

Governor

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sorrel是坏人哈哈。In China there is a good way to help you out if you dont wanna continue the conversation.take your phone out from pocket and pretend answering a call.then tell him or her "sorry but my uncle's house is on fire now I have to go"....

sorrel:

I usually continue the conversation because I am interested in hearing the opinions - there is such a variety! If I want to leave, I just say I am too busy to stay ;o)

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Emperor

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In the past, Chinese prejudice really ticked me off. But you know what? They're really ignorant. They need to be educated.

 

My advice is (and this is really hard to do) that you could try to be patient with them. Try to educate them on why they're wrong. In MANY cases, people are only prejudiced because they don't know any better. Some can be convinced by just showing them an alternative viewpoint.

 

And yeah, I met a single mom in China whose husband left her because she gave birth to a daughter. I tried to encourage her to remarry and find someone else, but she said that's looked down upon in China, and nobody wants her.

 

So I told her to find a foreigner because most don't care about that, and she told me she's afraid her daughter will be raped by foreigners, "Like Oprah Winfrey was." "Foreigners are always raping their families."

 

Sexual abuse and domestic violence are more common in China than in America, so...
 

happywanderer:

That's exactly the level of prejudice and ignorance I mean.  There should be advanced classes in dealing with muppets for expats here.

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JustinF:

People sometimes read too many history books about how Westerners raped the whole world. Enslaving Africans, decimating Native Americans and Aborigines, drugging Asians and so on...

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happywanderer:

Yeah I know what you mean - I personally have never enslaved anyone but that doesn't seem to stop the accusations .

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try being married to one ! She is a lovely lady but still has the old world perspective on things. but has gotten better in the last couple of years.

xinyuren:

I feel you.  My wife is from the Henan countryside, but she is a quick learner and truly has an open mind.  When I introduce a Western idea to her, she will evaluate it for what it is and if she thinks it has any merit, she will even adopt it for herself .  I was lucky when I found her...

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Hulk:

My wife drives me absolutely insane from time to time, but I love her a lot. We work through whatever problems we have.

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I usually offer them some candy so that they can get their sugar rush and then get that energy dump so I don't have to hear them anymore...

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happywanderer:

I think I need an energy dump right now.

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slice_999_k:

Sometimes your comments are fantastic!

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10 years 34 weeks ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
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