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Q: How to best respond to "hellorassment"
What is the best way to respond to annoying "halloooo" catcalls on the street, generally from groups of young guys? How can the hallower be humiliated most without the foreigner being confrontational or making an ass of himself? I've tried various responses to the derogatory catcalls and I'm not sure what the best way to deal with them is. If it's to my face, I usually just say hi or hello back nonchalantly and if it's to my back I ignore. Sometimes I also ignore if it's to my face and that seems to upset people. I've tried responding in native English expressions like "hey how's it going" that they can't understand and then give a puzzled look when the don't respond. I've tried the condescending "how do you do". I saw some German guys once just laugh at the guy and say "hallooooo" back in a moron voice while laughing at the hallower. That seemed to work pretty well.
So any good stories on how you deal with catcalling wankers? Strategies? Have you gotten into confrontations over this? How can I humiliate the bastards without getting jumped by 5 peasants?
Honestly, the best is to just ignore. Nothing really works. You can put the farmer out of his farm, but you can't put the farm out of the farmer... It's hard sometime to ignore, and any reply might be misunderstood. Showing annoyance and/or reacting can be seen as a "spiritual victory", in a typical Ah Q spirit : "ha ha, I had an impact on the outsider-no-like-one-of-us". Us-and-them mentality, self-full filling prophecy... Of course, I speak about adults, not young kids, and not a gentle "ni hao" you would have with a neighbour
When I first got here I tried everything... pointing and laughing, mocking, following them and teaching them to say hello without sounding like they'd been castrated, engaging them in conversation, giving them the finger but nothing really made me feel better so now I just ignore them. At least this way i don't feel like I lose 80 points off my I.Q by associating in any way with them. They're so pathetic they don't deserve any of my time or attention.
Headphones... everywhere you go.
I still don't really know how to deal with these guys. Saying "hello" back is sort of like justifying their retarded greeting. Walking away makes you look like a jerk to everyone...
I think the best way is to just yell some jibberish and walk away... or greeting in another language... just go... "blargurg kuk hum loootermash!"
They will look confused and probably feel stupid...
coineineagh:
Actually, responding with: "Oh, do you speak English?" - will work just as well.
dongbeiren:
I like the idea of putting them on the spot with "oh you speak English" and if they seem confused, just say it in Chinese. I might try that some time.
"HAAARAO" - loud, high pitched, wobbly voice, and in the same patronizing, condescending tone as the original greeting.
If they say Hello waiguoren, I say Haarao Daluren [mainlander].
If they say Hello laowai, I say Haarao Daluren.
If their attempt at greeting seemed ignorant, but with no awareness that they're singling me out or belittling me, I say nothing back.
If it's a young kid, I usually say Hello back. I even smile sincerely on occasion.
And young baby stares are just cute, but I have young babies myself. It probably matters.
coineineagh:
Actually, I got this response from a Ricky Gervais gag: "You know the problem with the Chinese? They can't bloody whisper. Who started the rumour that Chinese can't whisper? That's terribly racist. Hey Chen, can you whisper something to us?" "HAARAO!!!" "(oh my God, it's true!)" Recently I had a surreal moment when I was trying to get kids in class to play a game where they whisper a word to their teammates, and someone ended up shouting it EVERY time. Nobody knew why I was laughing.
How to respond? My normal response is either Ni Hao or Hello back with a smile. It doesn't harm anyone. Of course some of it is born of ignorance & sometimes racism but I don't care.
I especially respond with a bigger smile if it's children as they are inquisitive & don't deserve any cynicism from me. I'll even go out of my way to talk to children, especially if they try to speak English with me. If they refer to me as Weiguoren when pointing me out to their parents I'll respond with "Bu shi weiguoren, wo shi ying gou ren".
Politeness cost nothing & gives locals, in my view, a better view of foreigners.
dongbeiren:
If the person is clearly intending to be polite and welcoming, I will smile and greet them back. It's very different though when you have a group of young guys pointing, laughing and shrieking like a dying deer at you. If their intention is to mock you, I want to make them feel like peasant morons. Now, perhaps politeness is the best way to do that by proving you are so much better than them. But that or any other message would be lost on such people.
Honestly, the best is to just ignore. Nothing really works. You can put the farmer out of his farm, but you can't put the farm out of the farmer... It's hard sometime to ignore, and any reply might be misunderstood. Showing annoyance and/or reacting can be seen as a "spiritual victory", in a typical Ah Q spirit : "ha ha, I had an impact on the outsider-no-like-one-of-us". Us-and-them mentality, self-full filling prophecy... Of course, I speak about adults, not young kids, and not a gentle "ni hao" you would have with a neighbour
Depends on who does it.
-Grown up men, I answer in German for an epic face.
-Young kids, I smile back with a "Hello".
-Pretty ladies, no need to ask girl, here is my phone number.
-Elders, "Wo shi riben ren" or "konnichiwa" mwahahaha
Chill out and make fun of them, Chinese don't deserve to be taken seriously.
I just reply "ni hao" as casually as I can and keep walking, in a kinda "sup' homie" way. I feel this way they realise 1) I don't really care about their attempt to annoy me and 2) I can speak Chinese and am not as outlandish as they think I am. I sometimes chat with the kids if I am not in a hurry.
Try saying hello back to them in Japanese. But usually, a simple wave or ignoring is the best solution. There is no need to get all bent out of shape over minor things. Just keep saying to yourself TIC (This is China). We all have bad days here. Some, more than others.
By the way, I love the headphones suggestion.
dongbeiren:
Yea, it doesn't make sense to get bent out of shape over small stuff- if I did I'd have left long ago. Just going with the flow and staying upbeat can go a long way in any situation.
Why would you take that as a harassment? They don't speak English.
Would you find it more 'suitable', if they would show up with an English interpreter??
Are you any better than them? I know, I'm not. I can mutter 'ni hao', 'xie xie' and few other Chinese words.
Shining_brow:
It's not the 'Hello" from a 'normal' person... it's the "HAARRAAAOOOOOOO" from the idiot 22-26 year old group of boys, who have no intention of starting a conversation - or even capable of it - who just wants to increase his manliness by yelling out something stupid to the white monkey walking past - and then they all have a laugh...
That's the issue!
Normal 'Hello" people, who have poor English, but want to just talk to a foreigner (who they've never had the opportunity to before), or just be polite, is fine! :)
If you're feeling particularly cruel and want to inflict ultimate face loss (we've all had days like this!) you can always approach the offender and congratulate him on his amazing English skills. Next, whilst speaking very quickly, you could ask him for directions to some random place making sure to use as many words of over two syllables as possible. Keep repeating the question, almost pleading for an answer, repeatedly congratulating him until he walks away - usually with his mates laughing at him. For added effect be sure to add a "Bye Bye"!
Cold hard stares work well. Make sure you are wearing mirrored sunglasses. Don't respond..........just stare.
Eorthisio:
Yeah totally agree, when I wear my aviator sunglasses with a suit any stare with an emotion-less face will make Chinese people look down the ground and scare the shit out of them. Maybe they think I am a Russian mafia killer or some psychopath hahaha.
Robk:
@Eorthisio - I have been told I look like I am in the Russian Mafia during the Winter when I wear my leather jacker (15 years old, bought back home... very proud of it cause it out lasts all clothes bought in China) with leather gloves (all kind torn cause were bought in China) and haven't shaved in about a week.
Chinese look pretty scared... not so many "Harrrroooooooooooooooo..." calls during this time.
Lord_hanson:
Good old intimidation breaks all language barriers, lol
Oops I meant to write "humiliate the bastards without getting jumped by 5 peasants" in the OP, not "with getting jumped". Yea, avoid confrontation was the idea.
i look at as they are trying to show they know English and I respond as if im an ambassador for my country. yes sometimes it smart as teenagers, but thats the same everywhere.
i hear it a lot when someone is trying to get my attention to sell something, so then I dont look otherwise, i say hello then ni hao.
when i ride my bicycle i often get stopped for photos when im riding on a mountain where people are walking up... I usually stop, it the same feeling as a celebrity would get..so why not?
I say hello, or ni hao to a whole lot of people that I do not know.... I just think of it as a pleasant greeting .... nice to see you .... ain't life grand.... ... many many people in my neighborhood say the same to me....... I smile, they smile.... .. I like a community that smiles!!!
What's annoying is the idea behind the "hello". Being singled out. People pointing to our differences and reminding everyone else around that we do not belong here.
Some shopkeepers in my neighborhood are perfectly aware that I speak near fluent Chinese for I had extensive talks with them before. Yet they keep greeting me with "hallo" and tell other customers (who can't mind their own business) that I tingbudong, really annoying.
Related to the "look at me" mindset, not surprising from those people who are not used to have wealth. It wouldn't be annoying if they weren't trying to obstruct your sight. Man, I don't care what car you drive, no need to honk or drive slowly in front of me, get the yuck out.
These are the two thing I hate most in China.
ScotsAlan:
Yup. The slow drivers on their mobile phones who stop right in front of you as you wait to cross the road.... one of my pet hates.
You run as fast as you can and jump into the bush and peek outside from the gaps of the leaves.
Just realized I didn't really answer in my previous statement.
I always respond with "Nihao nongfu" ("hello farmer"), pointing out the backwardness of their peasant-like behavior.
Just now I was walking home from 7-11, some fatty in his 20s (probably a son of tuhao) with his friends thought he was smart saying "hello" with the typical arrogant tone when passing me, I answered with that above and a smile, he stopped walking and stood right there staring at me with a shocked face while I was going onto my way, his "friends" were laughing at him.
It has to be the best answer, to keep silent passes you as a jerk, to answer with a friendly hello as an idiot.
dongbeiren:
hahaha that is a good one - I might try "ni hao hai zi" some time in the future because they are children anyway. I feel like "hello farmer" could start a confrontation, which is not what I really want but oh man it does hit them where it hurts!
Double posts so may as well use this. Recommendation, get the ones with the cord. 1. Separate ones, easy to lose one, 2. The cord makes it easy for them to see you can't hear them. That should shut 99% of them up.
You can use a Chinese meme, if there are a lot of people within hearshot
"ni shi zhu ma ?!"
It's a huge problem especially when living in a small City.
Once there were a group of young lads, one of them thought it would be cool to say "Harrrrlllooo" in front of his peers and then I approached him and began speaking English. He couldn't understand a word and his peers ended up mocking him and taking the piss out of him. His face turned red and he was clearly embarrassed and that was the end of that chapter.
If someone shouts out "Weigouren!" or "laowai!" I just respond by pointing at them and shouting "Zhongworen!".
