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Q: How can I understand what a Chinese implies or hears?
I think Chinese speak more implied. I bought a fake Rolex for my friend and my GF just kept on about I no need. What she meant was I'm paying too much, but she won't say anything because the guy is standing there. I told her to say what you mean, so I understand, be on my side.
Two days ago someone stole my phone on the bus. I asked my girl friend to call my phone, She just looked at me, I know she's thinking "why" because it's gone. I made a Pet shop Boys ring tone, if the phone rang I'd hear it, then stupid me I got frantic about calling my phone as the passengers were moving away and of course she just shut off. End of story, phone gone. Do they not understand or able to think fast? Mind crash from too much input? What gives?
How can you get a 'they' generalization from the bahaviour of one person: your girlfriend? 'They' is like a billion people. I think what you meant to ask was 'why didn't your girlfriend help you avoid getting ripped off in the street?' and 'why didn't your girlfriend take the obvious suggestion of calling your phone at the time that it may have still been close enough to hear it ring?' How the hell do I know dude, she's your girlfriend? It's a pity she didn't call the number though because if it was a Pet Shop Boys tune you'd have easily spotted the culprit, they'd have been the person smashing their phone to pieces with their hands over their ears:)
Have You told Her, that it could help to find it if it is still around, or You hoped that She will understand?
If You hoped, that She will understand - that was the same situation, like You girlfriend hoped that You will know what she meant (about this Rolex).
We are all the same 
I am only guessing, but I think that she understood you clearly and just played dumb in order to prevent you from finding the thief and trying to get your phone back. You see, in busses, these kinds of thieves travel in groups and if someone messes with the pick pocket, the rest of the gang cover his back (i.e. beat the tar out of the "meddler").
She may have been trying to protect you.
Xpat.John:
That is exactly the type of reason my wife would use. And by 'shutting down' she thinks that she is protecting me by not letting the thieves know that I know my phone was stolen so they won't have a reason to stab me if they perceive me as a threat to their operations.
Hi Ted,
First of all, I'm sorry to hear that some dishonest A*****E stole your telephone. Second, ah yes..I read about this recently..Chinese expecting expats to read their minds...aaaaaagggggghhhhhh..this drives me crazy. :( "implies"..yup..it's like we have to read between the lines to get the full meaning. Yeah, I don't understand why your gf couldn't make the connection about your wanting to call your phone and listen for the Pet Shop Boys tune..perfectly logical/reasonable/quick thinking to me!!
Considering these normal situations I must assume we must become smarter. Maybe next time something like this happens you should tell your girlfriend "Gimme your phone!" and make the call yourself. Unfortunately these repeated slow reaction in several aspects made me change my attitude to a Chinese end: "No why, just do it".
Just normal. The world is divided into two with regard to communication styles: In some societies members just say what they mean and in others, meaning is inferred. Members from either side therefore need to be aware of this kind of phenomenon and respect how those from the 'opposite' side communicate. So instead of getting so upset by your girlfriend's way of communicating with you, maybe you should lead the way in ensuring both of you appreciate the differences in your communication styles and work towards some compromises.
