By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: How to deal with foreign friends leaving China for good?
Making friends is not an easy, especially the older you get. That's why I find it really sad and disheartening when people you've befriended here in China for a year or two (or even longer) suddenly decide to leave for good. You obviously say you'll stay in touch but the reality is that after a few months or year you'll both have completely separate lives and your friendship will become nothing more than a few likes and comments on facebook and a high probability of never seeing each other again.
10 years 45 weeks ago in Relationships - China
You could set up like a reunion type thing once a year. Go on vacation at the same time and meet your friends once a year for like a week or two and have fun again. That's the best way! Meeting them again always helps you to catch up on things over the year that you've missed together. (
He he, I said: "together"!
How to deal with someone who keeps posting the same question format under different web names?
Look at it as a test of friendship. Any big changes in life can impact friendships, marriage, having children, moving. Sometimes you will keep contact, other times not. I would guess it will be easier to keep contact with those who leave China, not because they want to, as they would always have a desire to return, rather than those who have been here longer than they wished for and is leaving the country because they are fed up with it.
In reality, most people are only capable of having 4-5 true friends, the rest are just passing through your life. Especially in China, the word "Friend" is used WAY too much. People describe someone they've met just a couple of times as friends. Maybe because Chinese society makes it difficult to have real friends, people grasp onto acquaintances as friends.
Just let them go, it has been difficult at times, made a really good Brit friend 6 years ago, worked with him for two, and as an American I really found it difficult to just say good bye, we do still keep in touch but not regularly; as an Expat, this is something that you have to deal with, the one thing that brings us together is we all go through the same oww, ahhhs in the beginning and run into the same problems that makes us China haters but still loving China. One of these days, instead of all of us brow beating China, we should say what we like about them, god knows, as much as we hate it, we love it too
i say let it go.had same experiences someone gets sad you are not writing or not talking enough.so just save the time and make new friends
Wish I had a good answer for this. The life of an expat is lonely - people come, and people go, and you're still here. Like quite a few on this forum I've turned to alcohol as a friend. My advice (which'll probably make me unpopular) is that if it gets too hard you should leave. When the fun times stop China can be a harsh place to wake up in, and without some kind of support it can lead to a bad place.
Stop using "How to" when you want to ask a question and maybe you'll make new friends.
very interesting read.... I was only thinking of such things myself this week.
After just 3 months in China the novelty factor has well worn off and getting on with day to day life can be difficult especially when you have to say goodbye to people you have gotten close to.... and it seems easier to get close to expats when your in a foreign country cause everyone seems to be looking for friends compared to at home.
I guess in a way the difficulty you feel just shows you human you are at the end of the day..... anyway f your looking for someone to hang out with gimme a shout haha.
