hey Silva !!!! you want to get this one

flight out

Haha, I was actually talking about this the other day.  Your friend gave you excellent advice by the way.  I have mentioned before that when I go back home I try and talk with family and friends and make jokes and get that thing where people just stare at you, like when you first land in China and try to crack a joke.  Basically if you stay long enough in another society you'll start to become more like the locals - but of course you'll never be one.  So then you end up as someone that struggles with identity a little (not at home in any country).  My advice is to keep in touch with other expats and see them regularly.  There are people here that complain about expats that sit around drinking and complaining about China but personally I think that will preserve your sanity (I didn't do that - never have, and now sanity is a problem of mine. Well - never have unless you count a few relatively recent rants on echinacities).  Also take as many holidays as you can to other countries (whether visiting home or just having fun - again something I should of done).  And don't plan on staying for too long.  My experience is:

1-3 years: Fun for the most part.

3-5 years: You're getting really tired of the incessant small-mindedness and really think you should leave (which means you should leave!!!).

5-7 years: If you're still here it's probably too late.  You no longer connect with anyone properly.  You've probably turned to alcohol or therapy, or both.

7+ years: Be very careful.

Almost 3 years here...just got married, plan to buy a car and have a kid in the future. Never had a better lifestyle. I have met a lot of weirdos in China as well...but most (if not all) are alone. Some don't even have where to stay if they go home (and/or have no family left).

I go home every summer...I'm there now, my wife's with me, everyone here likes her a lot...we are having a blast.

yeah, I am one of those weirdo's. pushing 7 years in China; over 10 in East Asia, Home to USA just once for a couple of weeks.  Traveled/moved all my life cuz of Dad's job and personal choice after early US Army stint.  People ask me 'where are you from?'.  I don't know how to answer. That's a Weird feeling.  I guess if you don't wanna turn into a weirdo, then don't. Because sometimes I don't think it is a choice. I think it is just something that happens.  Or maybe the continuation of results from a choice made long ago.  Accept Life and make the best out of it.

ok, I'll shut up now.

Nothing! You can't do anything. Sit back and enjoy the insanity.

99Silva came here back in 1976 and he hasn't been the same since. Sooner or later, we're all going to become Silvas.

Man if you are on this site you are already caught up in the current of a whirlpool. The only way from here is down and deeper to the underbelly...

Too late.

The mere fact that you came her, already has stamped you indelibly as weird.

So, just sit back and enjoy it!

But seriously- I think becoming weirder is a natural progression in living abroad. As you adapt to a new culture your old one becomes less familiar. Maybe the key is to try and maintain consistent relationships. I mean as in friendships or anchors to tie you down to normality and stop you drifting in ever more eccentric patterns of thought or action.

I have met a few real classics in Asia, old timers that seem lost beyond all point of return jabbering incessantly about this and that problem without any real cohesion to their statements. I would imagine completely incapable of reintegrating back into Western society. I plan to get out before I venture down that path.

But then again- all the greats have been weirdos. Look at Einstein, Newton, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Orwell, Bukowski, Welsh, H Thompson...to name but a few.

Weirdos see things others don't, they are box breakers and ceiling smashers of society. Without them we are lost...

If your friends love you, you aren't "weird". You are "eccentric". 

Embrace the weirdness, why come to a foreign place to end up completely the same as when you left your own nation?

you're already here, the process has begun.

Travel a lot outside of the country...don't do like some people and stay here 3 years straight without leaving. Like one guy said he told me he stayed here about 3 years straight only time he left the country was to renew his Visa. Don't be like him go travel to other countries...

Stay away from expat forums is a good start. Lots of weird people here...

Never forget where you're from...

never roll up your shirt to "keep cool"

The long timers that I have met in China were old and looked burnt out. My feeling was that they became comfortable in their isolation.