By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .
Sign up with Google
Sign up with Facebook
Q: How do I know if a Chinese guy likes me?
I thought a guy liked me but I was wrong. He was really nice to me, bought me things like fruit and milk tea when we were out, let me use his piano, asked a lot of questions about me to my friend, etc. If a guy was that nice in America, he would like me. How could I be so wrong? Are there any specific indicators to know if a Chinese guy actually likes me? Or will I just expect a lot more friendliness and confusion?
12 years 23 weeks ago in Relationships - China
You have no idea how many times I have been asked that question by Chinese girls. It seems that young Chinese guys have a real issue with letting girls know how they feel. The normal rule is that if he asks you out alone, he is probably interested.
Jnusb416:
Unfortunately, that will probably not happen unless I learn a lot more Mandarin. I don't meet any guys outside of this college, and the ones here have really poor English, so almost none of them even try to talk to me.
to tell the truth you can not know if any local likes you without being direct and asking, when they dont like but want to practice engl or have a foreign friend they will treat you the same exact way. they all like to stand close to you even brush up against you and some cases hold your arm when walking. be direct and dont be afraid to get rejected i get rejected about 20 times a day and i'm still alive
Jnusb416:
Yeah, I finally got the nerve to ask if he liked me, and he said he liked someone else. Ouch. Oh well, I'll keep looking.
crimochina:
you got to learn to approach the subject like guys do, so it is not a real rejection. "jnus, are you interested in anyone at the moment?, or have you ever thought about dating a foreigner?, if you are into someone would you tell them or wait for them to tell you?"
I've never known a Chinese guy to be anything but extremely direct with foreigners, especially the women.
But, if he's anything like pretty much every Chinese guy who's ever talked to me, he'll ask "你可以给我介绍一个外国美女????" about a million times every second so make sure you just have a foreign dude around to act as an intermediary.
Jnusb416:
That's never happened to me that I know of. Maybe it's because I don't have any foreign friends here.
never had pictured a chinese man can have the courage to actually seriously pursue an american beauty ( Overseas experience excluded).
Usually don't they just give you the "I love you ambush attack"?
You are a foreign girl so you can ask him if he wants to have dinner and then see if he drinks with you. After a few drinks most chinese guys will relax and the truth will probably come out after that. My boyfriend is Chinese and I never put pressure on him about whether we were 'together' or not. we just went out together had a good time, and i always made sure to ask him if he had a girlfriend because it is very common here for chinese guys and girls to lie about significant others. Eventually he told me he did have a girlfriend. i was crushed and asked who she was. he said it was me and how could he have another one when we spent all the time together. ha ha... good luck. you will find one. I have experience dating chinese and I will say that i was confused many times the same as you are. If they drag it on too long and you still arent sure, they probably arent interested in that way, maybe they just want their friends to see you two together, but not want a relationship. its fucked up but it happens. you'll find someone great. i have read your posts and you seems like a sweetie.
Jnusb416:
I would try that, but I don't drink. I asked him, and it turns out that he likes someone else. He's just a really nice guy.
In my experience (I am a foreign male)... Chinese men are interested in mostly sleeping or experiencing a foreign female and not so much any kind of commitment. Usually because their overbearing parents forbid it or they believe there is no way they can connect with a foreign female.
Most of them sort of look at it like achieving a huge notch on their belt to boost their face (ego, whatever).
Sorry to have said that... but there are some good one that may have the courage to court a foreign girl and having the back of the family to enter a long term relationship. I think they are very direct about it quickly and will constantly compliment you. A lot of times they will say funny things like "I need a good girlfriend..." or like "I think you would be a good girl for me." If they don't say this or send some kind of text message to suggest so... then chances are they just being nice.
Somtimes the guy got a gf or wife already....!. so you gotta be carefull about those nice things.......a single Chinese guy nowadays if they really like you...they will give you obvious signs you should know it easily....Robk got a point, sometimes they do just are interested to sleep a white girl....
I feel like Chinese guys are loosing self confidence when the speak languages other then Chinese ,they are not confident in their expressions,even if they are good in the particular language,they have a feel that they are lagging somewhere.If they change their mind,they can easily trap a foreigner girl.
Also one more character in common Chinese people is that ,their need is so simple ,just tasty food ,good long sleep etc..just live the life today no future pursuits
In America the guy asks to buy you a coffee. In China he asks to buy you a car
It depends , if he likes you enough, he may show it by having to walk differently, maybe even limp. This is a side effect of a physical attraction.
when he saids "lets get married" i have a house and a car... lol
