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Q: How do one get hooked up with a Chinese lady? My friend asked me so please help.
How do one get hooked up with a Chinese lady? My friend asked me but I had no answer so please help me.
13 years 22 weeks ago in General - Other cities
Go out and meet one for yourself... we're not a match making site.
Sit in a park, go to a bar... hell enjoy do the blind dating that the Chinese us...
Same way as any other lady, just go out and meet some until you find one you click with. Then throw her over your shoulder and take her home. (foreplay)
I heard if you go to a street vendor, order chicken feet and sichuan peppers, rub them all over your naked body, run down the middle of a crowded street yelling "STELLA" at the top of your lungs for a solid hour, then approach 12 China-men and denounce all things non-Chinese... you will get 72 virgin women on your doorstep.
DaBen:
I once forgot the part about yelling "Stella" and only found an old lady and three small dogs on my door step. But not counting that time, the method you have heard of has worked every time I've tried it.
HugAPanda:
I'm gonna pee! I'm so excited to know it has actually worked for someone, and it couldn't have happened to a better expat! (I laughed so hard I snorted!)
DaBen:
Oh and a word of warning.... being very careful where you rub the sichuan peppers... there's some places where you don't want to burn (unless you're in to that sort of thing).
Xpat.John:
Really, I was told that the way you "hook up with Chinese girls" is to walk into any Chinese bar, find the biggest guy covered in tattoos and hit over the head with a bottle of Chevis Regal. The girls will all madly respect the size of your balls and come running. When I tried this I was told it worked perfectly, and that I didn't remember it because I was too busy being knocked unconscious at the time.
DaBen:
John, I'm sure your way would work as well. It's just that chicken feet and peppers are much cheaper. Plus I'd be worried about spilling all that tasty whiskey if the bottle broke.
GuilinRaf:
No, what I do is that I go to married men who are with their wives and say "wo yao ni de tai tai (我 要 你 的 太太“） and add a lewd wink。 Then i sit back as they both look for as many non married Chinese girls to give me instead. Even cheaper than the peppers and chicken feet! On a good day you can get dozens! On a bad day, you will just get ayi...
TedDBayer:
yeahhh,, I'm goING STREAKIIIINNNG !!!
I always knew this would lead to something great. 72 ? How long do I get them for? At the going rate of 2 hrs, thats 6 days! Should I hurry or get less girl? What do I get for running shirtless?
GuilinRaf:
Running shirtless you get 36 moderately experienced girls, not knockouts but still pleasing to the eye.
HugAPanda:
Geesh Ted! You only get to pick one! Ya greedy bastard :P
GuilinRaf:
You mean it aint like Netflix? Keep only the ones you want?
TedDBayer:
ONLY ONE !! ?? Panda ,you TEASE, you said 72, What good is one? It's like anything you have that's Chinese , two hours later you're horny/hungry.
HugAPanda:
I didn't say you could KEEP all 72. Besides, Ted, would you really be able to handle 72 women?
TedDBayer:
I could die trying,,,with a smile on my face,,they look OK ,, with teeth etc ,,right?
DaBen:
All 72 hung around for a couple of days the last time I did it. Then again I did have a nice platter of cheeses and many flavors of jello cups to snack on.
DaBen:
But be careful if you use the jello cups.... when I was trying to get rid of all 72, I found a couple of the more tricky ones trying to hind out in my cabinets..... Silly jello-loving ladies, they think I can't count to 72 (the trick is to use your fingers and toes).
HugAPanda:
You want ones with teeth? Damn, Ted, you're picky. In order for the toothed ones to come to your door, you have to wear a neon pink thong and garters that match while running down the street.
HugAPanda:
DaBen... that's what you get for buying orange jello! If you're gonna buy orange, you have to buy the strawberry too as a repellent!
TedDBayer:
Panda,you do realize I tried to have an entire line from a massage parlour line up in my hall and take numbers? It was a holiday weekend, so there was a shortage. Dam lazy Ho's. They shooda ask for double pay. About the pink neon thong and garters, no problem,, I believe in cross dressing for success. I actually wrote a book on the subject.
HugAPanda:
Damn, Guilin, if I heard some dude say that to my husband, I'd push my husband down the stairs and run off with the lewd-winker!
TedDBayer:
Do you like Jello, Panda ? BTW I did have lingerie in my baggage, it was for a gift. But for you I could have modeled. I had pink too, red and black also, You like pink stripper stockings? I do !! I'm getting to you . yes?
HugAPanda:
Guilan, Orange would be good, but I'll burn the strawberry :P And Ted, Ted, Ted... I don't know what to say. I guess if ya shaved first... ;)
TedDBayer:
I'm more partial to the Clinger look. I don't want to attract men. I have enough problems with all the women.
HugAPanda:
Clinger? From MASH? roflmao!! Didn't he wear spiked heals and pink lace bras with his army uniform? omg I feel old just knowing who he was.
TedDBayer:
Mash is still on TV, this is getting to be long thread,, how 'bout some + votes guys.
28 comments, the funniest stuff is hidden.
Dancing the "Macarena" in the subway platform works too!
HugAPanda:
I heard if there are two guys cruisin together... the one vying for the lady's attention does the macarena. But the wingman has to do the chicken dance. With a dandelion between his teeth.
Cruise your city until you find a small shop radiating pink light from the inside. These are known in China as "Friendship Stores." The staff is helpful and friendly, and will provide a number of services (for a small fee).
If that doesn't work, well, just be yourself and listen more than you talk. A sympathetic ear goes a long way...
GuilinRaf:
I will only add, if you find that you are interrupting yourself, run! Oh, and stay away from sharp objects!
GuilinRaf:
giadrosich I just re-read your posting and was troubled by the second paragraph! If you cannot score in a "Friendship Store" you are REALLY in a bad way!!!
If you have a VPN I would suggest you go to adult friend finder.com.
I hear it works.
http://answers.echinacities.com/question/9211?type=manswer
You could always wait for the fuzzy sweater season, then put on a suit made of velcro and hook up with a Chinese woman that way.
I suggest you hook up with an auntie. They always look like they could use a little more lovin'.
Tell him to go for walks by himself. This works best at night. I had all sorts of people approach me, but many more at night. Just for fun, try running so you can tease them and see if they follow. If they are interested enough to run after you, you have them hooked, so stop and chat them up. Cheers good luck !
i have more respect for people when they stand behind their posts. my posts are unpopular but i stand behind them. now this is for your friend?? is your friend awful looking?? smells funny??? people are people say techniques work here but with a twist
