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Q: How do you discipline a child that isn't yours?
So these friends of the family come over and after all the offerings of oranges and rejections of said oranges, their young boy gets bored and starts wandering around our house. At first I dont' care, but then I hear this crash and when I rush over, I can see that he's all into my stuff. My stuff. The stuff that is in my drawers and locked away, safe from prying eyes. I complain to the wife and then she brings it up with the family, and they're all, "Oh, leave him be. He's just a child."
Just a child? That's my stuff. He didn't break anything (luckily) but he sure did get his dirty fingers on them. I couldn't talk to him or smack him none, so I ended up bribing him with chocolate, and then once he was out of the room I closed the door and stood guard since there's no lock on it.
He's not my kid, he's not my problem, but that's my stuff. My wife asked me not to be angry, so I just had to endure him while he was there (the family is great, by the way; it's just that they don't look after their kid).
They want to come over again. What do I do? Become a bouncer in my own house?
10 years 21 weeks ago in Family & Kids - Other cities
You don't, you discipline the parents.
The kids cannot help no one has taught them how to behave. When the day comes, and my child(ren) does something wrong at someone else place, I would prefer them not starting to yell at my child(ren) but just tell me that they find it wrong. If I then say "Oh, leave him be. He's just a child" then I would later, having gotten kicked out, be enough of a man to admit that I am not a perfect parent.
Your house, your rules
Scandinavian:
by the way. I am sure Yue Yue's parents were great too, they also failed to look after their kid. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Wang_Yue)
mArtiAn:
Yep, it's the f**king circle of life, just not the one Elton John sang about. We raise our kids like c**ts, they act the c**t, then make babies and raise them like c**ts.
well, I still am an advocate of the Singapore / British Royal Navy method. A few strokes of the ol' cane and let's see if he don't learn right quick right from wrong. 
although i don't have any children visit me here, at home i expect a certain level of respect from ALL visitors. in non-communal rooms, i expect people to keep out. i would no sooner go into someone else's room without an invite. I make it clear to parents where is NOT acceptable for their children to go.
To the parents who are slack on discipline, i let them know what is not acceptable. I should not have to make any changes for visitors - i have been told my place is not child-friendly. WTF?? i don't have children, of course it is not child friendly. They are a guest there, not an inhabitant. Please behave like a guest !!
sorry about the rant, but when people come with children, the host should not have to change how they live to accommodate them. nor should the host have to worry about personal items in private rooms.
DrMonkey:
Agree. We are supposed to respect their customs, they can also respect ours ie. "behave yourself a bit in my dwelling"
You should have immediately went to the child, lead him away from your things and wave your finger "no". Children are actually smarter than some parents. They will understand that the boundaries are different with you. You should know by now that going to Chinese about disciplining children is a failed adventure. Going through your drawers is something they were waiting to do.
What if you found and caged a rabid dog? - That then also wouldn't be yours so it wouldn't be your fault if it escaped and viciously mauled the child. Aye! Yeah I know, I need to work at it to keep this sharp.
You know what to do ? Go to the supermarket or any other store and buy a new lock for your door if you can't find it ask the parents to control their child . If everything failed then report him to the police !
Scandinavian:
...because turning your own home into a police state is needed to have guests for a cupper
A quick cuff around the head when the parents aren't looking.
andyinshenyang:
I should hope so! You should do it in front of the parents!
Don't let them run amok. Under any circumstances.
It is your house and these are your things.
Tell the brat no and tell the parents no. Make the parents loose face.
And loose it big time.
And forcibly lead the kid away from your things.
If the parents want to be crude, fine. But you need not play their game.
You may be reasonable and answer to the parents "it's just a kid?? so what? kids are SMART! just like they learn to play videogames or learn the names of 300 different dinosaurs they are able to understand that there are things that MUST NOT be done (like putting your hands and nose in someone else' things). You (parent) just need to teach him and educate him, and he will understand" .
Otherwise you can use the GAS trick. When the parents are not looking turn on the gas in you kitchen but don't fire it. Take the kid and let him breath the gas... he will fall asleep in 46 seconds and have no memory about that...
Scandinavian:
could you do me a favor and check this gas thing on yourself ?
