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anonymous
Q: how do you think of chinese girls?
i saw some unfriendly guys made fun of us chinese girls and i felt so bad. maybe some chinese girls deserve bad words but there still are many nice and friendly chinese girls. so please do not say oh you are chinese so ...normally you said it like a sarcasm. and please do not say are u a fucking idiot? if u like to say words like that just stop complaining that chinese are cold rude or something like that.
10 years 16 weeks ago in Relationships - China
So, let's have an imaginary conversation, based on my experience
You - "I don't want to have sex with him ! How can I tell him ?"
Me - "Tell him 'no, I don't have sex with you"
You - "But I don't want to upset him !"
Me - "He is an adult, he can take a 'no' as an answer. Worst case, he grows up a bit and learn something"
You - "Hiiiii, no, I can't do that !"
Me - "You don't want to upset him, or you just don't have the courage to say no ?"
You - "Hiiiiiiii, you are not helping !!!"
Me - "Errr, you can lie, like, you have someone, or more funny, tell him that you have AIDS"
You - "Haaaa ! I don't lie and you are stupid !"
Me - "Ok, so let's sum-up. He want to have sex. You don't want, but saying no is not ok, lying is not ok. You are not helping yourself, really. You can, hum, avoid him, never go where he is"
You - "hmmmm, but what if I meet him by accident, he will be upset !"
Me - "Well, you have the simple, easy, plain way : say no. But since you don't want to face this, you have to go through complex ways which all have severe drawbacks. In the end, *you* are the one who have to make a choice"
You - "You are a bad guy, you don't understand my culture, you..."
Me - "I'm living here for a while, I saw quite a few girls with the same hesitations as you. Say 'no', problem is gone. Try something else, it have chance to just get worse. It's not a culture thing, is about having some backbone, some self-respect. Your life, your choice, and you know your options. Bye"
You - "Grmblblblblblblbl"
Hulk:
She WANTS to have sex with either HIM or YOU. She's just being indirect about it. Chinese girls are the masters of this. They're always asking about sex questions. Except my wife. That's part of why I married here, actually.
AGAIN, she wants you to porkload her. I'd personally just take her to the nearest hotel room and lay pipe. Well, if I weren't married, that is. God, I miss laying pipe.
DrMonkey:
With the original question turned into a rant, it's a freak'in incoherent mess. A girl state loud and clear that we shall have some fun, I tell her I'm married, wrong guy. Before, hum, girls who didn't know what they want : I don't take advantage of kids, it's bad. Go play with your doll, kid, and let the adults being adults ^^
LAR:
Well said Dr. Monkey!! Touche! YES, it IS due to a lack of backbone and self-respect! AND, if I hear the lame "It's due to cultural differences" excuse again I'm going to SCREAM! :0!!!!!! The South Koreans talk the same b******t! ** Okay folks, how about the Japanese,Thais,etc? ** Do they give the same nauseating excuse?
"What can I say to them that can fix everything except for yes?"
No
your question is confusing:
are you male or female?
it sounds more like a question an adolescent boy would ask.
Samsara:
I agree that it sounds like a boy, especially the heading. Pretty sure it's someone trying to discredit foreigners.
October1st:
i feel it's a he, not she.
and if that's correct. He's been confused by a Chinese girl. He's trying hard to grow up..
cub:
come on sorrel are u the thought police now? Who made u the ECC safety monitor? maybe this person is a legit person wanting a decent answer?/ is this a crime now?
please show some respect. if you truly want to help then you can post your answers and i will be very grateful for that. if not just ignore it. i just want some nice and useful ideas. i think i didnot do anything wrong. is there anything wrong when you try to be nice to others. i think there is some culture differences out there and according to chinese culture we are not used to say no directly because we do not want others to feel akward, at least in my opinion.
sorrel:
please show some respect and not post questions like this on this forum.
go to a dating website
sorrel:
due to the change in the OP, i'm not sure if it was a male or female posting
belle_watson:
Is it relevant whether it is a male or female? The question is a question. Surely it beats all of those dirty old white folk sex-oriented questions that float around here, the latest being about some three p*nised wine. God, really disgusting. Worthy of a gloryhole, perhaps but not of this Board.
cub:
huazikai u must know that on this site respect and a simple decent answer u will NEVER get! Too many suspicious crusty farts who are professional mind readers assuming everything on this site So dont be surprised if u get insults and are personally attacked and called names while never getting a answer ok? @belle-wason i agree with u a 100% this site is the only site a question gets answered with a question and u never get a answer just insults assumptions and personal attacks!
So, let's have an imaginary conversation, based on my experience
You - "I don't want to have sex with him ! How can I tell him ?"
Me - "Tell him 'no, I don't have sex with you"
You - "But I don't want to upset him !"
Me - "He is an adult, he can take a 'no' as an answer. Worst case, he grows up a bit and learn something"
You - "Hiiiii, no, I can't do that !"
Me - "You don't want to upset him, or you just don't have the courage to say no ?"
You - "Hiiiiiiii, you are not helping !!!"
Me - "Errr, you can lie, like, you have someone, or more funny, tell him that you have AIDS"
You - "Haaaa ! I don't lie and you are stupid !"
Me - "Ok, so let's sum-up. He want to have sex. You don't want, but saying no is not ok, lying is not ok. You are not helping yourself, really. You can, hum, avoid him, never go where he is"
You - "hmmmm, but what if I meet him by accident, he will be upset !"
Me - "Well, you have the simple, easy, plain way : say no. But since you don't want to face this, you have to go through complex ways which all have severe drawbacks. In the end, *you* are the one who have to make a choice"
You - "You are a bad guy, you don't understand my culture, you..."
Me - "I'm living here for a while, I saw quite a few girls with the same hesitations as you. Say 'no', problem is gone. Try something else, it have chance to just get worse. It's not a culture thing, is about having some backbone, some self-respect. Your life, your choice, and you know your options. Bye"
You - "Grmblblblblblblbl"
Hulk:
She WANTS to have sex with either HIM or YOU. She's just being indirect about it. Chinese girls are the masters of this. They're always asking about sex questions. Except my wife. That's part of why I married here, actually.
AGAIN, she wants you to porkload her. I'd personally just take her to the nearest hotel room and lay pipe. Well, if I weren't married, that is. God, I miss laying pipe.
DrMonkey:
With the original question turned into a rant, it's a freak'in incoherent mess. A girl state loud and clear that we shall have some fun, I tell her I'm married, wrong guy. Before, hum, girls who didn't know what they want : I don't take advantage of kids, it's bad. Go play with your doll, kid, and let the adults being adults ^^
LAR:
Well said Dr. Monkey!! Touche! YES, it IS due to a lack of backbone and self-respect! AND, if I hear the lame "It's due to cultural differences" excuse again I'm going to SCREAM! :0!!!!!! The South Koreans talk the same b******t! ** Okay folks, how about the Japanese,Thais,etc? ** Do they give the same nauseating excuse?
Okay, and you completely edited your original question, making the whole thread a mess, what people will read now is your ranting.
now i AM confused
the original post has changed.
from the original post, i thought it was a boy asking, now it seems like a girl is asking a totally different question 
cub:
really miss nancy drew WHO GIVES A CARE? are u the KGB now? let it go
Here's what I think about East Asian ladies: I find them very, very attractive. I always have.
Here's what I think of all women: they are all crazy. (guys are too, from a woman's perspective).
Everyone has their preferences. I like black, white, yellow, brown, etc... (but I don't like red; I am racist against Native Americans such as myself) so as long as the chick is beautiful on the inside. Outside helps, too, but not an absolute requirement.
If someone condemns a whole group of women because of some stupid stereotype, then fuck them. They aren't worth shit. The problem with so many foreigners (myself included at first) is that Chinese seem pretty damn dumb on the surface until you get to know them. Get to know them in Chinese. Speak to them, write to them, using Chinese. Suddenly, they don't seem so dumb anymore because their use of language isn't so limited (2nd language, bad school systems here). Granted, there are dumb fucks everywhere... I'm living proof.
I respect them a lot and see in them plenty of values like their family orientation, their hard working skills, their prudence and sense of understanding about life. I can say they are feet on the ground. Very conservative about initiation in a love relation ship, also materialistic. I can't say much about they way they love as I don't have a Chinese girlfriend. From the outside and other's experiences I am pretty sure they are of an old fashion cut,meaning sex after marriage. I respect it and appreciate quite a lot. I know this is changing with the arise of new economical and political perspective, but still on the day-to-day life, women live by the rules of their ancestors, their grandpas and fathers.
I happen to experience what they hide in their mind and hearts. I had to admit that we foreigners have a lot to learn from them. Prudence and practical spirit is one of their assets.
DrMonkey:
For the "sex only after marriage" : it's an urban legend, really. Also, a bit of a tragedy, because I heard a high number of stories of women too young to handle a baby she did not want in the first place. They were 'playing' with their BF, and *puf*.
JacobJohn:
Possibly you're right. I don't have enough information about it. My observations about the women where I live tend to confirm this legend. Maybe I just want to see it like that.
coineineagh:
All young women in China SAY they are virgins. And it's important for their face and esteem in the community that people believe they are. Traditional families still expect dowries. Related to this social pressure, many women actually don't have relationships easily. Others can't help themselves, and the worst thing their BF can do is announce he took her virginity publicly. My wife was proud to be a virgin, and I wasn't sure it was true until I actually saw the blood. It's also appreciated if men enter into marriage a virgin, but far less important than for women. Thinking of past relationships I had still hurts my wife's feelings, and I feel that it would be easier if she had some encounters of her own in the past. Now it's a choice between a single sex partner her whole life, or adultery. I have mixed feelings about it, but on the whole, it would be better if women had some moderate sexual experience before marrying. Somewhere between a virginity strongbox and a slut machine.
SOME Chinese girls think bf should do all things for them.
They only remember when Chinese guys pay for them, ignore when Chinese guys shout at them.
Double standard.
somebody's been into the special sauce at Burger King again 
most chinese girls i met were about 5 to 7 years behind a western girl in maturity and handling relationships, perhaps this is the education system or lack thereof, but being a 21 year college student and acting like a 13 year girl is not sexy, its appalling and most western guys dont want to be a teacher and a lover at the same time, it just gets old unless the chemistry is really strong.
Scandinavian:
Don't blame a bad education systm for bad parenting. ;)
ambivalentmace:
bad parenting, if the parents have a bad education it would be an excuse, but if they had the education and did not pass it on to the kids, that would inexcusable criminal neglect. not sure i have enough info to infer that.
JacobJohn:
Actually, both are very much linked and mostly, the secondary education, that is in the school prevails over the primary education that is in the family. Nonetheless, the traits are graved in the child's character during the first 6 years of life, by his family. Yet, it's not hopeless for a badly educated child, to be reshaped and revealed his potential when the education in school is good. Unfortunately, the education system in China does not pursue the beauty of character of the children.
coineineagh:
Sa jiao is considered cute and attractive in China, but when your partner is constantly scolding you for not being rich, it gets very tedious. There is no expression for 'crying over spilled milk' in Chinese vocabulary, and the focus on what the man is financially expected to do in Chinese culture can lead to abundant arguments. The best thing is to acknowledge the woman's expectations as reasonable, and be submissive to avoid confrontation. That's if you want to keep the relationship going. If the attitude is enough to make you lose interest, by all means stay yourself and leave. I choose to judge Chinese women by their actions rather than thoughts and words, and they are actually very good women if you just ignore what they think and say.
Scandinavian:
actually I take it back. Bad parenting is due to bad education, which is due to bad parenting, which is due to bad education.
Yesterday I witnessed a family where that has a 2 month old boy. Fuck they are poor at taking care of the kid. The list is endless from half a day of observing. Main issues. The father of the child doesn't know how to hold his son. As soon as he tries to, his mother comes running and takes the kid from him. None of the parents did any reading about anything related to baby stuff prior to the baby being born. They don't mind leaving the kid with the grandparents for an entire day. Actually, it seems the grandmother is the only one who wanted the kid. Poor boy, spending his time staring into the ceiling being warm as hell because everyone is concerned he is cold. Dressed for a polar expidition not being able to fend for yourself.
JacobJohn:
@Scandinavian: Enough and well put. Indeed, reading about babies before they come on this world, it will help enormously the progenitors to better cope with many things.
sevenyan:
well , I have to say . waw . now i do feel pity about our education .
I like Chinese women. I like Englsh spoken with a Chinese accent. I like the women that look and touch me with the look and curiosity of a kitten. Are you considering wearing a dress?
Soap operas can make for interesting reading. 
Especially the humorous ones.
Don't get me wrong; I like chinese girls (young women).
considered that my fionce is a chinese girl then i would say i think chinese girls are nice
p.s. what a stupid question
sorrel:
if you think this was a stupid question, you should have seen it before it was changed 
I am married to one so they are great. Also Summertime and Spring in China give me more reason to like Chinese girls!
How can I answer you, if you already told me, what should I say?
'so please do not say oh you are chinese so ...normally you said it like a sarcasm. and please do not say are u a fucking idiot? if u like to say words like that just stop complaining that chinese are cold rude or something like that.'
You could just look in the mirror, and ask the same Q, wait for few seconds, and reply anything you like, to the face you see it in the mirror. No need for 'keyboard'!
easy.
Not to brag but I had 3 girlfriends at the same time once.
I believe most of you here have more than one girlfriends.
