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Q: How do you want to die in China?
The thread on murdering family members got me thinking...
If you HAD to die in China, how would you want it to be? Accident? Murder? Suicide? and why?
Are you saying you're gonna provide some kind of service sir ?
If I get to choose:
I want to be killed at the age of 91 while making love to a 25 year old beautiful girl by her jealous husband. 
It should be something flamboyant and spectacular, a final blaze of glory. But it should be carbon neutral and it should not hurt anyone. That excludes being ingulfed in flames in the cockpit of a downed Messerschmitt Bf109, after a tough dogfight (victorious) with 7 Spitfires.
Hum... I would be in the middle of the Xingjiang desert, in a cave that I turned into my home. I would have some fancy setup with solar panel, water tanks dug in the rock, and satellite antennas. All built with junk and discarded vehicles. One day, out of fancy, I would make my own giant stratospheric balloon, out of antelope testicles skin (it's thin, light and extensible) collected over my whole life. If I don't blow myself inflating the balloon with my home-made hydrogen production plant, I would fly up with the balloon until I reach the higher layers of stratosphere. I would be frozen yet burnt by the UV, while suffocating. But dude, the view ! Then I would likely fall down, all dead and frozen.
to carbon neutrality.DrMonkey:
@Hulk A bit of C4, triggered while I'm caught in a jetstream would do an awesome job, at dispersing my carbon. Pieces of me all over the world.
Hulk:
That would be beautiful, but no... take as many bad people down with you as you can.
diverdude1:
love the ME109,,,, but c'mon ! 7 Spitfires !!?? ME109 = baddddd,,,, but Spitfire SuperMarine w/ the Rolls Royce Merlin 12 cylinder = badddddddasss
DrMonkey:
Both planes where badasses, I love them both. Great design, great engineering, beautiful machines. I would love to ride one of those once in my life. Vrooooooooaaaaaaammmmmmm ^^
My last words would be the diayu islands are rightfully ja....
Falling off the highest mountain, die before the contact with ground....
Isnt this the suicide hotline guy? Should we really be indulging him with death fantasies?
Falling off the highest mountain while dragging thousands of CCP down with me, only to have them cushion my impact as their guts explode out of every orifice. Then I'd get up, get attacked by the fabled wild animals which don't exist in China (a tiger for example), barely win, vomit blood and then faint. But I'm not dead yet.
A kind villager rescues me and nurses me back to health. He spends the next 2 years training me in an ancient style of Kung Fu. I practice diligently for my final showdown in Beijing.
Finally being ready, I embark on a journey to The Forbidden City, but half way there the train gets derailed and almost everyone dies. I once again end up in a ditch nearly dead. This time I'm nursed back to health by a kind woman who teaches me yet another ancient style of Kung Fu for 1 year.
I eventually get to Hebei province, but there's a riot stampede because of corrupt government officials, and I once again end up in a ditch nearly dead. A scoundrel picks me up and tries to cut me up to sell my meat on the street, but I'm rescued by an illegal, unqualified and unskilled English teacher.
Finally, after 3 years and 1 month, I manage to get to Beijing to take my revenge on the CCP. I stop at the food stands to get something to eat while I practice for the next two days, only to die from a combination of severe food poisoning, typhoid and malaria.
DrMonkey:
I''m hearing the soundtrack of Kill Bill now, the scene where Uma Thurman takes down a whole gang with a saber
I always figured the best way to get it is Death by Firing Squad. The Manly way, not the bs china way of kneeling the executionee and shooting back of head. that is pussy way for executioner.
I say the proper way .. Standing on your Feet facing the Firing Squad. Head held high. Refuse the Blindfold and have a Last Cigarette.
diverdude1:
yeah, and funny thing is I don't even smoke... but hey, it makes for an Awesome Image !
only question is Marlboro Red, Dunhill, or Gauloises ?
Falling off a mountain? Dudes, you know mountains usually have a diagonal descent? You'll be torn apart by jagged rocks. Give me a skyscraper any day.
A soothing gush of wind, pretty view, and your nrvous system will be destroyed before the pain of the impact can be registered.
Stiggs:
I would probably agree with you if I hadn't bungy jumped once, the descent was far from soothing, in fact I'm just surprised I didn't shit my pants.. Nope, if heights are involved I want to be passed out drunk or something so I don't know about it.
A bottle of vodka, staring across the heilongjiang into Mother Russia...and freeze to death was drunk off my ass.
The souls of all who die here are forever lost because God turned his back on China long ago.
As an old man in bed with a belly full of mead and a young maidens mouth around my c*ck.
Lord_hanson:
What? it's a referance to Game of thrones? I guess you guys are fans of the books or show?
I'd tell you, but I suspect I'd have a knock on my door within 20 minutes, and only they 'how I die' would come true, not the why... 
Sleeping quietly, not screaming like the passengers in my car
Killed by street food vendors after shouting 'soylent green is people'
Hit by car I flipped off because the driver honked at me.
Heart attack caused by the entire staff of a barber shop. 
I would prefer to die as a statistic in something big.
At least that way my family might get my name on a memorial for free.
ScotsAlan:
Lol. Not at all sorrel.
I would prefer to be an innocent victim of some event that changes things. That way I would be remembered without actually doing anything.
Look at Mohamed Bouazizi. He changed the world. But he done it proactively. I would prefer to do it accidentally.
Erm, the name above is probably a red button name. So I apologize to Admin.
