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Posts: 9192

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Q: How do you weed out the gold digger girl friend in China?

 My perception is that Chinese women do not ask for money, but want you to save. I'm writing to a woman I met before I left, she tells me she has no money, can I send some? I know Chinese all think we are rich and I can't blame them for wanting things. What tell tale gold digger signs do you look for? How quickly would you stop writing her?

11 years 18 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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I would stop writing her the moment she asked what my salary is, what kind of car I have, what kind of house, etc...  Questions like that are just a hair away from "send me a copy of your bank book".  And asking for money is a sure, "block me" question.

 

Of course, for me it is easy to spot gold diggers.  If they are any kind of cute, young or have good eyesight and they still want to talk to me, then they are after my money because I am an old, selfish and ugly human being.  

crimochina:

with all due respect John (i understand you might be joking) but i have dated young girls who just wanted fun. I have dated young girls who wanted a good mature man to settle down with (until their partents put a stop to it) and they were very beautiful even in the eyes of chinese guys. many good young womern are sick and tired of being treated like a 3rd class "girl".

11 years 18 weeks ago
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Xpat.John:

I am partially joking.  You know me, I am a married boy scout.  Normally when I talk to any woman one of the first few sentences I say will include "my wife" or "I am married". It is amazing how many conversations stop after that is said.  It is also amazing how many conversations continue after that is said.  :)

11 years 18 weeks ago
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crimochina:

i know i actually owe you an apology. that post was pre coffee

11 years 18 weeks ago
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For me it was easy. I bought my girlfriend (now wife) a new cell phone for Christmas and she gave me sh1t for it, told me not to waste my money on her.

crimochina:

why the thumbs down. i have the same experience. I have dated girls that asked me to buy them stuff (gold diggers) and I have dated girls who didn't even want me to buy them a mug.

11 years 18 weeks ago
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Exercise common sense.  When a Chinese woman sees a middle-aged single North American male on the prowl in China, they know what the end-run of the game is automatically.

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The real gold diggers will play on traditional Chinese to justify their demands. If they start to talk about marriage, engagement dowries, "your" requirement to own property, "your" requirement to pay for the wedding etc. at a very early stage during the relationship, there is a good chance that they are not in the relationship just for emotional reasons.

 

This type of person will usually fall back on the "you're in China so you should follow the Chinese way of doing things" rationale. If the relationship is truly about love, then you will have appreciation for each other's cultures and traditions. In a mixed culture marriage, this type of understanding has to exist. If you are being pushed towards Chinese traditional values, it is usually for one sided gain.

 

 

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11 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Make them pay for stuff and don't spoil them. If they ask for something expensive, refuse or make them wait until a special occasion like Christmas or something. Also, don't rush into the relationship. A lot of those kinds of girls try to rush into marriage as soon as possible. 

 

Guy I know had a woman talking about marriage 10 minutes into the first date.

TedDBayer:

When I was about 20, many girls I went out with were like this. I think women grow up wanting to be married. We grow up wanting to drive like maniacs and blow up shit.

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Maybe only one out of ten are gold diggers. Most of the girls I have encountered here are quite thrifty.

beaufortninja:

Thrifty with their own money perhaps. 

11 years 18 weeks ago
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11 years 18 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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well a test could be, if some how end up giving money to her, see what she does with the money and possibly ask her why she spent it like that,

TedDBayer:

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000.. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then he married the one with the biggest tits.

11 years 18 weeks ago
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