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Posts: 97

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Q: how to get divorce in china?

Hi everyone

I will go in to the story right the way.

I got married in "Nanjing" Jiansu province last 2 years with a Korean women

(we've been together only for 8 month before the marriage)

she got pregnant and we decided to get married.

All this time I was trying hard to keep our small family happy and together.

(Mine and her family are not in china)

Oh man you can't imaging how hard is it for me because of;

1  -  age, only 26 (both of us are in the same age and university student).

2  -  we have deferent back ground culture " too much differences "

3  -  in a deferent place (china is not my home country and not her home country also )

4  -  I've got to study, work and be a good dad and husband in the same time. 

 

I was keeping on this routing for 2 years; 

study in the morning go to work in the afternoon and comeback to help doing the house things and look after my baby girl.

After all this can't sleep well during the night because my baby girl need to wake every 2 or 3 or 4 hours to eat, change diapers...

i admit it man, we've got married too young, only 26 (both of us are in the same age and university student)...

 

thank you god we don't have any money problems because my salary is beyond enough.

 

our problems every time start from really small stupid thing until it's out of control. 

I'm tired of this ​Quarrels “吵架”  everytime

man i really want to give up this marriage because I'm not happy any more

 

 

 

11 years 30 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
Answers (7)
Comments (5)
Posts: 9192

Emperor

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Welcome to living, just drink more.Every marriage hits the wall at about 2 years. Try to make it better. Living with someone is never easy. there is a learning curve. best to make the best of it if you can, than give up. You have others depending on you.

Laajine:

you right, i will try my best. thx for the advise b

11 years 30 weeks ago
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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 149

Governor

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I know it seem simple but have you tried talking to her about all of these problems?  Just sitting down and telling her the hard truth about everything?  Korean women I know will work to keep it going whatever they need to do (the good ones), so try it out or maybe have a friend sit in with ideas that could help you two.

 

The other hand you could look at it like this is you two get a divorce, and then she maybe goes back to Korea, and whats the chances of you seeing your baby girl again?  Weigh your options before you think of the quick divorce.

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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4397

Emperor

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  Marriage is not easy, and neither is raising a child. Walking out the door is easy, men have been doing it since time immemorial. What kind of man do you wish to be? You said yourself that your problems start from small, stupid things, so in other words it is the pressures of living that are the problems. Those pressures will colour your perception of your marriage so you need to learn how to deal with them if you want things to improve. There was something special enough to bring you two together, and to make a baby together. Nothing worthwhile comes easy, so count your blessings, talk to your wife, and stop looking for the quick-fix.

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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
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26 is young in chinese culture. where the hell are you from? you were old enough to point your gun and shoot then you should be old enough to man up and face the responsibilities. you are "young" (according to you) are in school , and have a job, and don't have money problems. try being grateful you selfish twit. (difficult for me, don't you mean us?!?!?!)  man the puck up (your 26 not 16 dumbass) you are an adult so act like it or take out a shAt load of insurance and jump of the tallest building in your city. your child deserves a man as a father. 

whining and complaining about nothing, you are a despicable loser. responsibility follows the bullet.  you opened fire so now you must man up. reading your post it is clear you don't even care about your child it is all about you it is difficult for "me". 

 

PS: i believe this is another BS post, deferent 2X but still knows difference, that is evidence of a crafted post (unless that is some weird form of english that i don't know about) I guess the society of trolls really do exist. 

crimochina:

so this might not be a BS post? what kind of morons is this world populated with? seriously people like this exist in large numbers?

11 years 30 weeks ago
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Laajine:

thx man all what you said is right. i was really mad when i did this post. I talked to my dad and almost said as you said here (you were old enough to point your gun and shoot then you should be old enough to man up and face the responsibilities). respect b

11 years 30 weeks ago
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crimochina:

remember you had a father to talk to about this. be that for your child . god bless

11 years 30 weeks ago
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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 113

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Dear Laajine

PLS do not give up.i know may be you are not happy in this marriage.But when you see your daughter grow up slowly.I think you are very happy.Think those wretch people.You are so blessed.Two people live together is not easy.There are many small things will let you qurral.so we should tolerate each other.Bright life is around the corner.

Laajine:

thx man, i wouldn't give up, i was really pissed off when i said this now can't even think to do that and leave my baby girl

11 years 30 weeks ago
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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
Posts: 97

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I disagree with my self now and I agree with all of you guys, all of what you said in this comments is correct and I respect you all bcz u tell it, I was really full of anger and madness when I did this post. I never will do something crazy like pushing my baby girl away from me, I fight everyday for her, her smile at me every time I get home tired makes me alive and full of hope

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11 years 30 weeks ago
 
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Wow! I respect you young man, for your honesty.  No divorce is happy, good or easy, no matter how easy they make it. Divorce is done there and then in more often less then 30 minutes. However the pain and heart break last much longer. This is the problem in China, too easy to marry and far t easy to divorce. 1.4 million Chinese national will divorce every year while 1.2 million will marry. 70% will divorce within 1-3 years, simply because thats when they learn the truth about each others ways and habits. To divorce, you both need to make come to arrangements about property if you own it, the custody of the child and access and of course money. When you married you maybe received the red boook with the gold face, 'IF'  and when you divorce you return the red gold face books, they will be stamped  as invalid and return it to you both. You will both then receive a new red book with a silver face, this is your divorce paper. It is most important that you keep this safe. When you go to the divorce office you will complete a form, usual personal details, and to explain the reason for why your are seeking a divorce. You will be asked a few questions, while someone else types out your responses. Upon clarity that you are both sure this is the right decision you go to a different desk, pay around 50 rmb/yuan/quai, thats it the process is short, and painful. Culture and back ground differences will always raise the head in any marriage between two different nationals. Try to work it out remember its always the children that suffer now and years to come. I respect you for doing the right things and entering in the marriage for the reason you did. However it really was for the wrong reason. A baby is not born out of marriage, it is born out of love. A gift from one to the other, although this is not always the case. Remember a baby can bring happiness , joy and smiles to make the grey days seem warmer. Explore every path, avenue, field and mountain before you jump into the ocean.   Sit her down and express what you both feel, and expect from each other. Find out where you are both going wrong, exhaust all avenues, only when you both have done this then you will know that the decision made was not done with ease or taken lightly. Divorce is heart wrenching and sure after time the pain will easy, but you'll still have the paper and the daughter will always wonder why. Everyone is different, so we handle all things in different ways. It easy for us all to leave positive or negative comments, but in the end only you will decide what is best for you, however what maybe good for you may not be good for your family, but hey this is life and as I mentioned in the beginning, 1.4 million will divorce every one. No one knows what tomorrow brings. Good Luck Guy to you and your family. 

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11 years 28 weeks ago
 
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