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Q: How long should you wait until you get married?
I know first you have to become best friends, and you have to enjoy each others company. What are the other factors to know when is the right time to get married after you have overcome all of the obstacles that may have stood in your way in the first place? Should you wait until you are financially stable? Does time even matter when you get married because there is the superstition that you should wait at least 3 years and only fools rush in.
12 years 22 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Well, from what I can tell, it's good to wait at least a year or two. Honestly, if you don't know the person well enough by then, you may never know them well enough. You should know their core values, and their future plans, goals, and dreams. Yours don't have to be the same, but they can't contradict eachother. Can you compromise about the important stuff? Can you stand their annoying habits? Financially stable? Is anyone every truly financially stable? It's more about knowing how to use your money and saving what you can.
Despite the time thing, my parents met and got married within a year. My dad is 10 years older than my mom. They've been married for 26 years, and they still love eachother and work together through everything. They're very practical people, and they know that a relationship takes work, and for that I truly respect them. Only you can know when you're ready for marriage, just keep this stuff in mind.
The 'only fools rush in thingy' is a universal falacy! When I met my husband it only took us a few months before we realized we want to spend the rest of our lives together. It has been six years since we got married and our relationship is better than ever. Well, my point is when you finally meet that special someone... there are no what ifs... You just want to start 'growing old with you' very soon.
PrettyNyssa:
Sorry GuilinR, but no u can't. Unless you are one of the Cullens or a member of the Volturi.
nevermind:
Yeah, my parents were like that. My Dad had just gotten out of a five year relationship when he met my Mom.... three months later they were engaged. They started and ran a business together until retirement, built a house with their own hands they still live in and raised three kids. I've only ever seen them fight one time.
It all depends on the relationship and many factors.
Back west it could be in 3 months or 10 years, depending on the couple and how they mutually feel.
In China, money, house and stability play a greater role, and from what I have seen here with friends, it is usually at least 3 years, not because they don't want to, but because of family pressures for financial stabity...house ownership...saving for the wedding...being able to afford a kid right away....etc.
Back home these issues are usually dealt with after marraige....kids and buying a house are easier to save for after marraige with 2 incomes.
Oh Hell get married..Im a 3 time verteran of marraige. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!.
Married a caucasian woman..married for 13 years..she divorced me for being what she called insane ( I prefer the term eccentric), She got everything (except for my guns, music, and hot camaro). We were Married for 13 years.
After swearing off white ladies, I married a black woman...married for 13 years (do we detect a pattern?)..same deal as above except she got all the cars too! I built up the portfolio again by hard work, same as last time.
The only redeeming feature I find pleasure in, is that after taking everything in court from me, those 2 are struggling to make ends meet. Its a prime example of Karma.
I swore off black ladies. I got married to a wonderful Chinese lady in 2006 (we dated for 2 years).
I'm still married! It's a happy marriage. Secret is I am rarely home, because I'm out making money! And when I am home its all good. 
I had a fellow mercenary ask me..."Dude, you been through every race! What will happen if the Chinese lady divorces you?"
I replied, "I dont think she will divorce me, but if she does there are Indian Chicks, American Indian Chicks (Im part American Indian); Polynesian ladies, etc. and with recent UFO sighting maybe there are some hot alien chicks with multiple boobs and vagina's !"
He told me I was just as crazy ( I prefer the term eccentric) as ever!
Who wants to get married more? If it is her then wait until you know her better. If it is you , then meet the parents and ask for an arranged marriage. This will have the family behind you and ensure a long and happy marriage.
Seriously, I'd wait until you were financially stable.
as soon as you both agree about marriage. but dont have kids for 3 years.
if you have any doubts about her during this time get out quick. dont linger or hesitate. always go into marriage with an exit strategy.
mine is this, keep your own personal property to a minimum (easier to move in 2 -3 hours), keep a stash of cash 10,000us (secret account in a credit union PO box as mailing address). when you start to realize the marriage wont last, do not let her know, do not make any attempts to salvage the relationship (trust me you will be in for a world a stress if she starts a campaign of passive aggressive behavior against you.) secretly go to a lawyer to file for divorce (pay cash) on the day she is too be served give her a day pass to a spa. while she is at the spa get all your precious belongings out. (do not take household items such as tvs) when she comes back from the spa, she is served with papers. do not look back. do not change your number, when she calls allow her to speak her peace , but do not fall for it (she will say anything and everything to get you back, her tone will vary from very sweet to angry and may even resort to "im pregnant"). every time she calls allow her to speak her peace so that she does not show up to your job. either way let building security know that she is not allowed in your work place. whatever you do , do not look back. the judge and lawyers will stick you for as much as they can but dont fight back they will try to bully you in to counciling or reconciliation.
now you have an exit strategy now go marry that girl and find a nice place with friendly divorce laws to settle down
mattaya:
Exit strategies are important no matter what. I think the U.S. did not have an exit strategy when going into war and look what happened there.
Just jump when you think it is time for you to jump. In my view, it is very hard to say about the right time. You can't plan the future but only the present and sometimes doing all the calculations, you may miss some numbers. For me, now i am remembering Milan Kundera saying somewhere, "If every second of our lives recurs an infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity as Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross."
marry???? are you crazy ...........................go and see a good doctor for ya ...
Just by asking the question you are probably serious about the relationship. Your know when its right it does not matter about how long you been together but if you think you can be with her forever.
