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Posts: 10

Governor

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Q: How shall I give up the chance to chase a girl ,I will graduate from university in 2012

she will go to Beijing while it is really hard for me to choose that big city as a start city of my carrer?
what shoud I do?IS there somesone having the same experience as me ???SHare with us..

8 years 8 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 1318

Shifu

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No offense, but I don't want to hear it. I've kept an "other side of the world" long distance relationship for two and a half of the last three years. I've enjoyed the fun of not being able to see your loved one but only twice a year (if you're lucky) and having to wake up by 4 am just so you have a chance to talk. So sorry, I've become bitter about people that complain that they suffer about a long distance relationship where they can only see each other on the weekends.

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
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Don't chase, especially if you are young.

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3339

Emperor

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Dude. FORGET her. Go get some tail otherwise. I know it SEEMS like you're old now, but you're not.

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9197

Emperor

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There are how many other women in China ? I know your heart is heavy and the attraction strong. You must do what is practical. If you are separated and you both wish to have a relationship, then do so. Do not spend all your time and money doing so. If it is meant to be , it is meant to be. If you are just simply pursing her, then look for another. Another woman is just behind you. You will see her one day.
Most attractions to women come and go. There are some that will never leave you. You will always remember them, but you will be fine with it. Maybe you will be friends for life. That is not a bad thing either.

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
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If she's only "a girl" to you, then as the others have said, move on.

If, however, there REALLY is a deep connection (and not just racing hormones), then make it happen!

Question: have you even spoken to her? Gone out together?? How does she feel about you?

In all likelihood, as the others have suggested, she really isn't in your deepest of hearts, and you will move on easily enough. You are still VERY young - there's a lot more to life than just 1 girl....

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
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There is a lot of opportunity in Beijing, so don't let that worry you. I'm not sure what you are studying, but it's not a bad place to start a career.

As for the girl, you need to decide if you really love her or if she's just a fling for you. It really depends on what you personally want.

As a young foreigner in China, there will be loads of opportunity and girls. Hell, even as an OLD foreigner that applies. So again, it really comes down to what you want.

If the girl is worth it, I say go for it. Never hurts to try, but not trying can end up hurting more. Better to find out and experience things than live with the "what if?".

What's the worst that can happen? You love her, get married, maybe have some babies and have a career in Beijing? There are much worse case scenarios out there. Maybe it doesn't work out, but you'll at least have the experience and the knowledge that you TRIED.

Set up a fall back option and go for it.

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
Posts: 36

Governor

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Either you go to BJ or she can stay in the same city with you. Long distance will never and ever work. And the feeling that you miss someone so much but you cannot see her\him will be so difficult. I had such experience be4 and i will never try it again.
Good luck

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8 years 8 weeks ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A: Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were loo
A:Going to HK would be the best bet I reckon, especially if you were looking for a church wedding. Chinese weddings are pretty grim IMO - you go to a barren govt dept with souless officials and navigate red tape so some guy can give you a red stamp and a marriage book. You get expensive pictures taken of you both posing in places you'd never go to in everyday life that is somehow supposed to represent your wedding, then a while later it's off to a restaurant where a game show host kind of guy makes sure it's as tacky as possible while the guests eat as fast as they can so they can leave as soon as they finish eating and gave you money. Hell, I'd go to Thailand or the Philippines and get married in Paradise.   -- Stiggs