Your problems seem personal, woman, children, etc. I don't mean to give advice to somebody I don't know, but those problems are problems EVERYWHERE not just China.

-I put it this way, sure spitting is annoying, dirty, and obnoxious, but there are places like your home or expat bars where people don't spit on the floor. It''s the problems you can't escape from that drive you crazy.

-Lastly I hated HATED my adult life in America. So my experience in China isn't normal.

I feel like there is a lot you aren't telling us. Divorcing after three years with a child makes me think your problems are unique and unrelated to the country you are in.

No one can debate your feelings. You have them for good reasons. Maybe the feelings will go away. Maybe you will change. Some have nothing to do with China, whereas others do.

All the spitting and annoying little things are, to me, just annoying little things. I don't pay much attention. 

I get sick of this place, but it's possible, nay, likely or even inevitable to feel sick of any place from time to time. 

I'm having my own employment dramas and I say that because I think employers are playing a waiting game. They think they have time now to replace me (you). I decided to chill (relax) and wait a week or two. Oh I'll send emails, maintain my requirements and keep in contact but I will expect nothing. This is not a guaranteed approach but I for one am tired of spending so much emotional effort on where I will work next September, if at all. 

They have time and options so they calculate that they should attempt to gain advantages now, while we wait. Let us sweat. Let us worry. 

I changed my paradigm. I'm not going to worry now. Maybe in two weeks, but that's fourteen days from now. 

This is negotiation and they're using delay tactics and asking for concessions. I won't accede. 

Or I grossly over-analyzed the whole thing and I should be institutionalized.

as others write, some of your problems are universal. 

I would suggest you fire up Skype, get hold of some people back home, who knows you well, and talk things through. they will no doubt suggest you come home, but remember that moving 6000 miles away from your child might not be the best either. Sure you can go to an expat bar, drown your sorrows in Tsingtao and cry out on the shoulder of some random expat too. 

The beauty about Shenzhen is that you can pop in to Hong Kong for a day of normality. Double decker busses, cars driving on the "correct side" without honking, proper ice cream etc etc. Provided you have a visa that is up for it, its a godsend. I think I am popping into Macau more and more as an escape.

I've seen this far too often.  Very rarely does it end up well when someone tries to force themselves to stay in China when they aren't happy in China.

Also I personally feel like conditions in China are getting worse almost across the board.  So if things are already driving you crazy, I wouldn't expect it to get better.

I'm not trying to be too negative, just trying to be realistic.  Life is way too short for you to sit around unhappy and  "try to give it another year"..... no don't try it if you're unhappy , you owe it to yourself to try something new NOW, not tomorrow or the next week, but NOW.   If being in China is no longer enjoyable, you need to change that and make yourself happy.

I don't know you or any of the problems you go through,  but based on what you wrote I highly suggest that you just back up and leave.  I don't mean that in a negative way, I mean it in a positive way. 

Just out of curiosity.... what type of job skills do you have outside of teaching. Teaching English in China won't really mean much back in the UK and as you know the cost of living is more expensive there. Teaching English in China would help you to teach in other non english speaking countries so maybe thats a route for you. I hear South Korea is pretty nice , Japan as well. Parts of south America are insanely beautiful, I know a few people who taught in South America and loved it, the only downside was crime was a real issue you had to worry about.

Get out of the city, forget all the bull. Go and take in the sights. There are still some beautiful landscapes to take in here. It's a big country, there must be something here to spark your interests again? Either that, or move to Hainan,Sanya beach...

I know exactly how you feel.

I am married and I am only here for her. I have forced myself to stay here a year beyond what I thought I was going to do as she does not want to leave China yet.

However, after much soul searching, she has agreed that I can go home and work, set up a life for the two of us there and I will visit every 8 to 12 weeks.

Not ideal but, I am used to long periods of seperation anyway.

The point is - if you are that miserable get out of it somehow.

There is a huge culture difference and sometimes it is just hard to accept their way of thinking and the way they view the rest of the world.

I too am having doubts about my decision to retire here in China. 20 months in and I am questioning just about everything about China.

I used to just eat, whatever was put in front  of me, no problem, now I  question just about everything. Cut some of that fat off the pork, why can’t I take the corn off the cob before serving it, why not shell the peanuts before giving me a pound of them. These prawns are delicious but I’m not eating the head, so why is it served, same for the chicken head?  Why not just give me a plate of food to eat instead of a vast array of what the hell is it, and a little empty bowl?

The spitting and smoking, that I hear so much whining about; I don’t mind ‘cause I do the same. Wish the wife and the family would quit whining about my smoking … I will quit (SOMEDAY)

The traffic I accept willingly, and enjoy my e-bike rides immensely, after I have gone to get the bike from my wife who takes it to work every day. My town has quit selling them, because of the thievery and the overabundance. A definite good sign for PROGRESS in China………..  they are slowly making progress, BUT I want ANOTHER E-BIKE ……   patience patience patience

Think my real issue is retirement and bored and lazy. Easy to fix by myself. Quit reading the damned  depressing  NEWS  from around the world and get a life, get out and do something………….  Go for them walks in the beautiful tropical garden park that is across the street from my home (another sign of PROGRESS, this wetlands park that my wife won’t go near because of it’s past filth and rats and snakes --- but it is clean today) . Or go to the gym that is a 20 minute walk, or the over-priced driving range that I can afford, if I wasn’t so lazy.

I have family issues back home that would be out of my control back home too, so what the hell.

Fact is that my decision to come here was a good decision, if only I didn’t waste so much time worrying about things that I have no control over.

Now get off the damned computer and go shopping for some ham and some cheese and smokes and coffee, and some really cheap and delicious fruits and/or melons while you are at it….. readily available just down the street……………….Thanks e-chinacities, I needed this ….. I’m going shopping!!! Boston just beat Pittsburgh, little surprised.

Some excellent posts on here.  I am happy that this has become somewhere for others to release too.

SoFresh hits the nail on the head for me.  Whilst Shenzhen is a much better city, and people are generally better here, and more accepting, I definitely have the same impression as SoFresh.

My school is just making things worse.  I am worth the 15k.  They want me back, but they see me as replaceable, and they say someone else will come and do all what I do for 8k, minimum per month.  I have old contracts and prove to them that they are talking bull, but, they are so confident.

In this city, 8k is nowhere near enough unless they pay for your accommodation.  To eat in this city costs at least 50rmb per day, and unless you go to the same restaurant, it's much more like at least 100rmb per day, or even per meal.  I am trying to save money to leave for good in a year, but they, and many other schools try trapping you here with shit salaries.

Well, you can make it better yourself. I was pretty depressed when I lived in the UK..London. I had a shitty job, just work and sleep, almost no time for anything else. And ride the damned tube. I don't know why people move to London, its a grim shithole, unless you are rich. I lived in Leyton for 6 months, you get the idea.

Here : My job pays 6K...so not that much. Bonuses for every holiday etc. But that's 3 days a week (2 of em done at noon), nice new apartment and bills paid. Me and my soon-to-be-wife cook at home most of the time, western food as well. I do 3 hours of tutoring on Saturday which gets me 2500 a month. We can live on less than that (she buys stuff too). So my Uni job salary goes in the bank every month. And I still have 3 full days + off a week. And vacation of about 6 months total a year which means TRAVEL! We live close to my work, pretty far from downtown, but this means almost no people, clean air and less dealing with the usual bullshit. I plan to get a car by the end of this year. And I hope not to have to give up this lifestyle anytime soon. So cheer up and keep looking.

  I am tired of everything here. Beyond description.