The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
anonymous
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: I can't kill her.. what CAN I do?

I really want to kill her or burn her house down? I am serious, please someone give me honest advice here. I found this website on my friends computer. You're all people versed with China. I am no stranger to China myself. Here is my story and I will try to keep it as short as I can. I had a Chinese gf for 3 years, she is from Foshan. In October 2011 due to some poor environmental affect while living in China (with that gf) I developed a severe intestinal disorder. I went home to get better medical treatment. In September 2012 I was in the hospital for about a week, then when I got out she called me, yelled at me for an hour. I tried to explain to her she couldn't find me because I had been in the hospital, but she wouldn't listen to me. So after maybe 20 minutes I got angry and said to her “would you rather hear that I was cheating on you? Is that what you want to hear?” She broke up with me on the spot and that was it. This girl at that time had already been with me for almost 3 years, so she knew what I was going through. I wouldn't have even got sick if not in China with her. It hurt so much that I get out of the hospital and she calls me to yell at me.

 

She and I kept in some contact afterwards, but just a little. If we talked I asked if there was another man, but she always said no. Once or twice she said she loved me. In November 2012 I came back to China. I was still sick, but there was a surgery I had moved from being done in my hometown of Chicago to Hong Kong. She was saying she loved me sometimes and honestly being sick, it feels good to have a loved one near you (I have little family at home). We met in Shenzhen, did all the things lovers do, then went back to Foshan together. A few days later I asked her to marry me, she said yes. So I told my family and friends the good news. A day later I found a nice apartment for us and signed a one year contract. We moved in, and then the next morning, she woke me up and broke up with me again. I was so upset, because she had just said she would marry me, I got the apartment, etc..

 

For the next week we didn't talk much. Finally I got her to meet me outside, she smiled and laughed in my face and told me she loved another man. They had gotten together almost the same time she broke up with me in September. So I asked “why be with me in China like gf and bf, why agree to marry me, why get the apartment?” She said her friends made some plan to be so nice to me for the first 7 days I was in China and then on the last day she was to leave me for the guy waiting for her. So she played me just like that. I tried to kill myself in that apartment, there was blood everywhere, and I never cleaned it. Another week later and she came back with the landlord and forced me out because... I let me then fiance sign the lease agreement.

 

About 10 days later I had my surgery in HK, while there in recovery I got an email from her blaming me for making her lose her job, that apartment, and causing her emotion stress because of our ordeal. She knew I was in the hospital at that time because I had told her best friend. So she chose that time to do that to me. I recovered, got healthy. In January I went back to the old apartment just.. I don't know why, I had some feeling inside me to go there one last time. When I was near the door.. I heard a man and woman inside. I was surprised to think it got re-leased so quickly, so I knocked... guess who answered the door? The girl. I later learned she never lost her job, obviously the apartment, etc..

 

Now the girl has sent me some emails and says they are getting married soon. More than that she explained that the reason she did all of that to me was because her parents don't like me. I always knew that, but it was never a hot button issue. She just said whatever she did was to satisfy her mom and dad. This is just a GD slap in the face to me. I never did the girl wrong, I never cheated.. I served her every wish when we were together. If you met me, I am a quite and easy going ginger from the USA. Now.. I feel like I can't do nothing about it all. I can't just go home, I can't just let this sh*t slide that she did me like that. I've tried to tell people what happened, but she has already told all my friends that she never did these things, but people all know I worshiped the ground she walked on.. so its a toss up. What can I do? I don't want to be violent.. this kind of thing, I think about it sometimes.. I KNOW I CAN'T LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS.. 

13 years 12 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
Answers (1 - 25 of 31)
Comments (23)
Posts: 376

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Looks like her parents didn't like you and she met someone her parents approve of. Actually, she was trying to make the break-up less painful for you, but this is the weird Chinese way of doing it. You ended up being more hurt than you would have been if she had just told you the truth when she met the other guy. 

 

You should let her get away with this. Forget her, she isn't worth it. 

 

crimochina:

you're buying this bs story? does  that make any logical sense?

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse

angelina8:

I was stupid enough to buy into it. 

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 237

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

This has to be a troll. I can't believe someone's life would be this stupid and then they'd post here, of all places.

Traveler:

I don't know. We have a regular poster who does the same every day.

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2409

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Someone once said that the best revenge for a bad breakup is to move on like the relationship never even happened.  If you let it eat at you, she wins.  

 

Just think about the poor sap that this cold hearted woman is with now and just count yourself lucky that it isn't you.

 

Move on.  Tell friends that it just didn't work out and leave it at that.  Anything else gives her all the power.

 

The good news is that there are literally millions of other women out there that will treat you  much, much better.

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 9631

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Just walk away

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7204

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Dear Abby

I started drifting off after the second Paragraph so I am guessing this is a messy break up

If you have no real reason to stay were you are

Just walk the Fu2k away Change your contact details and get on with your life

best of luck to you

GuilinRaf:

I still think it is a troll....

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 5539

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

clearly you are chinese because you think there are no phones/ internet in hospitals. how about this since you are american, go to walmart and buy a gun then shoot yourself

edit: your post also makes no logical sense. the timelines. and she did all of that to you because her parents don't like you, seriously? either way you are a loser. remove yourself from the gene pool. there are over 700,000, 000 women in china. you are crying over 1. LOSER, talking about killing her? kill yourself, oh wait you were too pathetic to even succeed at that.. i tell you what go to the tallest building in your city, go to the top floor/ roof and jump. you are a pathetic waste for making this post.

Scandinavian:

the suicide attempt and the need for revenge would also be a strong indicator of this not being a western male. 

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse

crimochina:

exactly scan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Scandinavian:

could be a western 13 year old girl that has that reaction though, but that would mean there are other things wrong with the story

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse

MasqueX:

I damn sure didn't expect to scan the boards and see this. This shouldn't be posted online. It would appear that it was posted under my account. Sadly the story is legit (of what I know). The poster is a friend of mine staying with me now. We were best friends at IU. The girl in question is also my friend. She loves him a lot, but he doesn't understand that here family comes first. Romeo and Juliet doesn't really work here. He's too naive. We're going to go travel together next week, I hope to get him laid, build up his confidence, try to forget about her. The world is a big place, more than just one woman for a man to really fall in love with. 

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Amonk:

What is your position on assisted suicide?

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse

philbravery:

Any time Silva wants some help with that  count me and 75% of the board in

the other 25% are Sparky's Personality's no

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2493

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You could kill her with kindness...don't do like what some of these knuckleheads do and show that you are angry..Do something that will make her feel guilty about what she's done. You say her parents didn't like you, then do something nice for them. Then walk away! Kill her with that kindness! (Drunk!

 

He he, I said: "Nice"

13 years 12 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago

There are cookies, bookies and too many rookies for me to sit here trying to be a hooky! Looky Looky don't call me a wooky. Touchy Touchy Feely Feely Spicy Spicy Nicey Nicey & that's what the doctor Ordered!!

 
Posts: 9192

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Its over , these things only hurt you and no one else. So remember that and don't be hurt, don't give it another thought. Just forget it and do what ever you have to make YOU feel better, get drunk and rent a new girl friend every night or find a real girl friend and start over, or find two new girl friends and juggle them. Just do what ever will make you happy. Anything related to her will not, so forget her.

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3292

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Tell her that you'll miss the sex with her mother the most. Trust me, it makes you feel better wink ... Shift+R improves the quality of this image. Shift+A improves the quality of all images on this page.

nicholasba:

winkwoooooow!!!!im impressed,....so brilliant!!!....

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse

philbravery:

Now Im calling Sparky crazy gang on this one

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1330

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

honestly, and it took you 3 years to figure out how psycho was your gf???seriously?wtf?! to me, you both got some serious mental°issues°...

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1330

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

besides, how comes that recently so many anon are posting stuff?...crying

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3318

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

I don't care what you do, just leave here. 

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1008

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Sounds like a murder suicide going on, whatever the end game is, if this is a true story be sure you castrate yourself so you can have no offspring less this episode continues in your gene pool

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 544

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Seriously though they should pay you jiumao for that one.

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1330

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

kill her with soreness 

 

Report Abuse
13 years 12 weeks ago
 
Posts: 153

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You just have to be the bigger man and move on. She's caused you so much hurt, why make things any harder on yourself by letting yourself get sucked in further. The woman is a total selfish bitch and instead of venting your hurt and anger into some revenge plot, you should use it to justify your reasons for never ever getting in touch with her again. There are many good women out there but this ex of yours is not one. Don't waste another minute on her...get out of Foshan or Guangdong or wherever you are. Get far away from her. Move to Shanghai or Beijing if you really want to stay in China. If not, just go back to the States and get on with your life. She's not worth it!!!!

Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1008

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Wow, two thumbs down for trying to filter out the trolls. Listen, it seems nice to try and give a guy a helping hand even if he might not be that person, a just in case situation but really, do you guys actually think he would post something then never respond, just sit there and read; he pulled your strings and is sitting back watching the foreigners reaction. Alas, thumbs down or not, this guy is a scar on the anyone's gene pool.

If the story is true, I am truly sorry, then would track down all her friends, make them fall in love with me, sack everyone of them with pictures, then post them on Weibo and send copies to my ex.

crimochina:

some people like being played for fools. 

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

09款羊毛大衣

So I'm sitting here with my manbreasts hanging out of my half-way-folded-up shirt like the hot male prostitute spy that I am, wondering what the fork I'm reading. Listen, man... I don't know if you're trolling or not, but I'll humor you...

 

Firstly... OH MY FORKING KOUROU!!!

 

I could understand the rage if she killed your family, but... because she was a crazy batch who left you? Seriously, come on! This woman is going to get what's coming to her. They ALL do. You won't need to do a damn thing, it will all come back to bite her in the ass later.

 

Honestly, the best thing you can is let her get away with it. She's a psycho, and she'll drive away the other guy too. Seriously, can't you see how lucky you were? You got away from that complete and utter nutjob who would've taken you to the cleaners eventually, and now you can move on. Meanwhile, she's stuck with some guy she doesn't love, and is miserable every day.

 

Move on. Find someone else and you'll have a better life. She's not the one for you. I know there was a time when I never thought anything would improve, but then I met my wife... and now we have a baby on the way. Things are just awesome. So don't give up, blah blah blah.

 

EDIT: The best revenge is to sit back and watch her crash and burn. She'll eventually come crawling back when everything falls apart for her. There's honestly nothing more satisfying than to watch them fail miserably while your life improves considerably. 

Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

More honest advice: if you're actually a westerner, do not kill her, and do not do anything illegal. If you have a criminal record, you won't be able to return to China to work or study. Then you'll end up becoming a fat, lonely, creepy old man with a criminal record who really hates China more than anything else... all to cope with the pain of constant rejection because no one — not even green-card desperate Chinese girls — will want you at that point. Move on.

 

Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Cool story, bro.

Tell it again.

GuilinRaf:

Nah! Have him come up with a better one....

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1090

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

OMG, ANOTHER Chinese female psycho!! :( I've read about so many of them. Shock Sheesh!!

If there's any shred of truth to what you've said..just move on! Follow Moonlake's and Hulk's advice! Indeed, what goes around comes around. Good luck!

GuilinRaf:

In her defense, the guy didnt contact her for nearly a year....

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 6321

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You leave for your home country in OCTOBER 2011 and it is not until SEPTEMBER of the FOLLOWING YEAR that you have contact again???!!!

In all that time you didnt email, text of call her?

Man, you got less than what you deserve!

Hulk:

Wow, I didn't catch that part... uh no contact... just disappears. No wonder she's pissed off and acting so bitchy!

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 141

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Count your blessings.  Imagine how it would have turned out if you had gone ahead and married her.  A much more painful mess would have resulted.

Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 272

Shifu

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You remind me of my story.  I once met a Chinese lady, fell in love, planned on marrying but her mother did not approve and she left me. 

Three years LATER, she e-mails me telling me she re-married her first husband and at the bottom she wrote "I really miss."  I don't know whether she was thinking of divorcing the guy again, her mother had since passed away, or she was really sincere in how I was.

Honestly, I did not care because I did not want to find out.  Just too many games.  Move on. She is not worth it.  I moved on and found a better girl friend now.  I never replied to her e-mails, you do the same. 

Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2763

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Wait a minute. WTF is a "quiet and easy going ginger?" 

 

Listen Ginger, If the devil plays a trick on you and leaves forever, you count your blessings and move on. 

 

The streets are teeming with hotties rocking shorts. I know, I sit outside at Starbuck's and try to chat them up. Shorts weather. Incredible legs. I'm sure you've noticed, Ginger. Go get 'em. I'm batting 1/15 but I'm old and ugly, so no excuses. 

 

Drop the suicide attempts and "I must get revenge" crap, it makes you sound like an immature Chinese boy. Or girl. Or any immature person, but I'm guessing Chinese. 

 

I'm old as dirt and met many people, but I never met an American who calls himself a ginger. In fact, I've never met any man from anywhere who calls himself a ginger. Well, maybe once, but that was a joke. You see this one time we decided to go to a gay bar because why not? It was the girls' idea. Crazy dames. But I digress. 

 

Anyway, tell your parents it was a cruel trick to name you Ginger, and man up. 

Hulk:

Oh Bill, I love you. No homo. Honestly, I have this stereotype in my head that old people can't type, or even use English properly, in my head. I figured you were a young buck, but now you're saying you're old? My whole world has been turned upside down.

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse

bill8899:

Paradigm shift you must! [Yoda voice]

13 years 11 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
13 years 11 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answers HighlightMORE >>
A: 1. Native speaker. 2. Bachelor's degree, minimum. Apostilled. The
A:1. Native speaker. 2. Bachelor's degree, minimum. Apostilled. They stopped recognizing online degrees several years ago. . 3. Either a teaching certification from your home country/iPGCE or a 120 hrs TEFL course. Apostilled 4. Criminal background check from your home country issued within the past 6 months. Apostilled.  This is rigid. The only legal loopholes for non-native speakers to legally teach are if they're already certified as a subject teacher in their home country, or if they obtained their degree in one of the designated native English speaking countries.  -- Spiderboenz