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Posts: 2224

Shifu

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Q: I think a lot of white men in China have male chauvinism

I think a lot of white men in China have male chauvinism. They want to be with women who are submissive and obey.

 

I am happened to be a non submissive woman, that's one of the main reason makes me single.

 

This is what a white guy who married to a Chinese woman just wrote to me on wechat:

So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything.

 

Since when women who listens to men become intelligent?

3 years 39 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Everyone needs to beef up on their comprehension.

 

"So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything."

 

Do you understand what the guy is saying? First sentence, he's saying she's not getting the point, she's misinterpreting what he's saying. Second sentence, why's she not getting the point? Because she needs to listen more. Does that sound like anyone, asking questions , then getting great answers and her response is to attack the responders. Skip to the last sentence, someone who doesn't think they know everything. For fucks sake, he's not wanting submissive he wants someone who is not like her. She's just twisting his words to make herself seem like a victim.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 734

Governor

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Unlike you, I'm a super submissive, docile, demure and soft piece of sponge... who is okay being led. laugh

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Ahhh that's not what he seems to be saying

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Most men want to settle down with interesting intelligent women. The booty shaking bragging types are good for fun only.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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The Girl is just venting ....the same as we do about the day-to-day shit that happens to us in China.
I can see what she is talking about thow, however i doubt it is limited to white guys.
Vicki maybe you're just looking in the wrong places..

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Everyone needs to beef up on their comprehension.

 

"So that means they want a submissive Chinese woman? Maybe you should just listen more. Men like intelligent women that love to learn. Not idiot women that think they know everything."

 

Do you understand what the guy is saying? First sentence, he's saying she's not getting the point, she's misinterpreting what he's saying. Second sentence, why's she not getting the point? Because she needs to listen more. Does that sound like anyone, asking questions , then getting great answers and her response is to attack the responders. Skip to the last sentence, someone who doesn't think they know everything. For fucks sake, he's not wanting submissive he wants someone who is not like her. She's just twisting his words to make herself seem like a victim.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 206

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"I am happened to be a non submissive woman, that's one of the main reason makes me single."

 

Yhh sure, keep on telling yourself that.

 

One minute you're worshipping the ground they walk on and now you hate them? Just as much as you'll find White guys who are male chauvinists you'll also find others who are very openminded and willing to work with REASONABLE, independent minded women.

 

Stop blaming others all of the time, that's all you've been on here doing for the last few years, and where has it gotten you? You're still single!

 

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2535

Emperor

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Most men are dominant or want to be dominant, not just white men.

 

I have ran into many women that deem themselves "non-submissive and independent" when in actual fact, they just weren't willing to negotiate or compromise on small and simple matters. 

 

Some are very strong minded and scare away weaker men. However, they should still attract stronger men.

 

If you are attracting no men, it could be because you simply aren't willing to change or adjust at all. That's fine, you don't have to... but it usually ends up being a very lonely road.  

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Its going  to get worse with TrumoTrump in power.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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I think what Vicky is trying to say is that lots of guys here have an acute sense of entitlement. Not sure if it's a white supremist thing as suggested or if china just attracts a lot of dickheads. I personally think there are just a lot of dickheads with delusions of self entitlement around.

That said, the examples of why Vicky lost it with her ex wouldn't sit well with me. Maybe people in Shanghai are a bit over sensitive or all think they are special and deserve better. Probably somewhere in the middle.

Vivky, don't get mad about shit that really doesn't matter. It is wasted energy and stressful. If no one is going to die, then it probably doesn't matter that much. Playing sajiao isn't attractive, nor is it something that a decent man will tolerate.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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Exactly. When I had sleepovers in all the dudes places, they'd offer me a toothbrushes or go out to buy one for me. There are convenient stores everywhere, forget is no excuse, especially if they know offering a toothbrush might make me stay over and impress me. They would also offer food, either bought it or cooked it. I would never go to someone's place to cook for them. 

 

On the other hand, I wouldn't make a fuss out of forgetting a toothbrush anyways. If I like I could go and get one, live without it or just leave. 

 

This dude clearly didn't cherish Viki very much. But Viki didn't present much value either. And that's when you know they are not compatible. Sharing your life with someone is all about those insignificant moments adding up together. If having each other in your life makes life unhappy for both of you, you are simply not meant to be. One can only compromise so much, but what people can tolerate differs. There are people like Viki who's not happy with someone forgot her toothbrush, there are people like Sheldon cooper who's not happy with someone sitting on his spot. 

 

But Viki is desperate. She knew this dude isn't right for her. This dude clearly told her he's never gonna get married nor having kids. But she could not let go of him. She clings on him months after the broke up till one day he refused to see her again. She forced this to happen by showing up uninvited. He threatened to call the cops. And that was the deal breaker.

 

Viki asked me why. She felt she sacrificed so much for him and he did not cherish her. That's when I told her she ought to be submissive coz had she not forced what was not meant to happen happen, and follow his pace; he might still keep in touch with her. 

 

But you know, it's Viki and that's never gonna happen. Instead of taking my advice, she went to troll the site and threw her anger on here. 

 

The interesting thing about Viki is, meanwhile, there was another 45 yo dude stalking on her all the time and she hated him with her guts and she could not understand why he was crazy.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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vicky, the easy mistake on posting too many personal details about yourself on this site is that the others here will use this as ammo against u Way too many wagging tongues to gossip

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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Governor

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you keep going back to a guy who clearly had no respect for you, and he knows he can get away with his treatment of you.

what do you want people here to say?

that he is a jerk?

of course he is a jerk, but clearly, by your own admission you are willing to tolerate being treated like that.

 

some questions

how many guys have you dated in the last year?

were they all like this guy?

who broke up with who and for what reason?

i don't expect you to answer on this forum, but maybe if you review your dating history: the places you met the guys, how they treated you, how you treated them, maybe you will see some kind of pattern.

 

you say you are 'emotional' (ie short fuse), so maybe this contributes in some way to your relationship pattern.

you call foreign guys 'chauvinistic' yet you chose to be with them.

yes YOU chose to date them, not anyone else.

 

there are so many good guys out there.

maybe you are overlooking them for some trivial or superficial reason, like maybe they are not 'white' or 'too old'

 

Age or looks have nothing to do with the sterling quality of character which last longer.

there are so many guys who are not an Adonis when it comes to looks, or skin colour, but they more than make up for it in other ways - mainly by treating you with respect and consideration.

 

Listening is an essential part of any close relationship.

Maybe you didn't listen to the guy whose treatment of you screamed 'I don't respect you at all'

 

hope you have better luck with the next guy.

there are so many good guys out there.

maybe you are overlooking them for some trivial or superficial reason

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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sorry for your bad romantic entanglements vicki, i always have extra toothbrushes around, when i was in college i had a sleepover kit made for my ladies that spent the night.

 

It was a huge ugly fish tackle box with lots of drawers and slots, but when you open it up, 20 shades of eye liner, lipstick, perfumes, lotions, tweezers, hair products, pads, anything a lady needed. My biggest problem was stopping them from taking stuff with them and the look i got when they asked how many other women had used my make up kit "i always said a few" was priceless. I even had a towel warmer for them when they got out of the shower and several different sizes of house slippers. the room was pretty busy most of the time.

if a guy want shave, bathe and brush his teeth and give you a clean towel, kick him to the curb, women will put up with bad bedroom skills but not bad sex and hygiene, if he is too lazy to buy you a toothbrush and bring you breakfast in bed, good riddance, nobody else probably wants him either. sharing a good man is always better than keeping a bad one, the older guys you are unsure of will probably remember your birthday and worship the ground you walk on and the young ones will continue to walk all over you, but you will figure this out yourself, sooner rather than later would be better for your sanity.

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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hmmm... could it be that 'male chauvinism' is actually a disease one might get and then has?

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3 years 39 weeks ago
 
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https://nypost.com/2018/09/01/nyc-should-stop-coddling-young-white-bros-on-bikes/

 

yes, white men are the scourge of the earth, don't let them have jobs, education and finally take away the bicycles too.

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2 years 4 weeks ago
 
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