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Q: I'm hitting that "wall"..again - is being here worth all the hassle
I've found myself at that point again - the drawbacks of being here in China seem to simply outweigh the benefits.
I've now spent 2+ years here in China in different cities spanning across northern and southern China, but I continuously find myself having to give so much for so little in return here. Whether it be in relationships, work or trying to genuinely settle down (thoughts of buying a house, starting up a business etc), once one assesses the cost, both in terms of time and money, along with the risk and inconvenience, many things no longer seem worthwhile doing here.
Lastly, something even more pertinent to my considering of abandoning China and everything China-related goes deeper. One thing which I had always told myself that I needed to do before calling it a day with China, was to eventually learn the language to somewhat of a fluent level, to be conversational across a wide range of topics, for example. Nevertheless, I feel as if I have no real reasons, or more specifically, nothing to latch on to as a means and motivation for learning the language. When most people learn a language, a key part of ensuring that their language learning experience remains fresh and dynamic, is to watch, listen and read things in that language usually pertaining to its respective nation and culture. By this, I mean, the films, art, music, literature and other forms of media which play their role in embodying part of that nation's culture and zeitgeist.
Thus, this brings me to what remains to be the coup de grace of my journey throughout China: what does this country have in terms of an indepth, diverse, well developed (in respect to having a strong foundation) culture? A culture where things of a more intrinsic nature, that aren't immediately relevant to putting food on the table or saving face are actually valued? I've struggled to find any traces of it while living here. I really do get the impression that what there is of "culture" in this country is firmly rooted in its past. What happened to the art galleries and museums? Debate and rambling societies? Rotary societies? Free or discounted literary events? The theatre? The kung-fu?!! While I know that there is hope for these kind of things in some of the first tier cities, once you find yourself in the smaller cities (and that includes the second tier cities), they usually don't go beyond being anything more than brief novelties.
Apologies for the long rant/diatribe that has now somewhat run amok. It's just something that has been erking me for a while. Everyone lives to work here. Essentially, I feel that if I am going to learn and master the language here there needs to be something that I can sink my teeth into. It could be a tv show, a particular singer/speaker/public figure etc, for those of you who are learning and/or can speak Mandarin to some level of fluency, besides having a Chinese partner (not really an option for me, for various reasons), what is it that you do to help you refine and improve your Chinese proficiency?
When you realize all the good things..the things that make you happy... have more to do with you than with being in china
i have met probably about 10 individuals in 6 years here that became somewhat proficient in mandarin, and all of the them where disappointed in the actual conversations they hear from chinese and have had no real stimulating conversations of culture and intellect worth reflecting on, in short they all regretted the time and effort they put into the language, a couple made some money from the knowledge but that was all, this is what makes me hesitate to learn the language but with a daughter learning the language, regretfully i have to compromise and be disappointed as well.
ScotsAlan:
Yup Ambi. My ex boss was fluent in Mandarin. He always said I was lucky because I did not know what was going on.
kasuka91:
Yep, can definitely see where you're coming from. life can be so shallow here at times, nowadays it just feels as if China is just a mere "place" that I happen to be in, where I find myself working and hanging out with the odd few friends. Besides friends and work, there isn't much else that I do here, not much that makes it unique to China.
When you realize all the good things..the things that make you happy... have more to do with you than with being in china
Just a kindly reminder. When America was in its hey-day of economic progress....folks came from the 4 corners of the earth to the "land of opportunity". One could go there with a bit of money, some street smarts, and a dream. Some did quite well. Fast forward to China today. Not unless you are some savvy international business person, with Chinese connections, you are unlikely to have that "dream" (unless of course you marry a Chinese person, and get the business up and going together...which can end up a can of worms in and of itself). So, if you havent figured it out yet, let me spell it out for you. Prospering in China is mostly only for Chinese.
