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anonymous
Q: I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place...
Ok so I have been in China for a little over three months now. Things were going, I was working a minimal amount of hours, enjoying my weekends and doing what I wanted with my evenings.
Then I had to go and well basically fall in love with my boss. Trouble is, she is no ordinary boss... She is the owner of a dreaded agency. When we are together we have fun, I like being around her and doing things together. She is smart, funny, and extremely beautiful.
The problem I have is this: She now has me working weekends in a training school, I had originally agreed to just do Saturdays and Sundays, but somehow have found myself doing Friday nights. This was also just meant to be two weekends a month and someone else doing the other two. I also do home tutoring two nights a week for her. The money is not bad, and the training school is a really nice place. I also seem to get roped into doing extra things as well on the only free evenings I have each week.
I have told her I don't want to do Friday nights at the training school as Fridays were one of the nights that I did home tutoring, she said "Oh its ok I swapped your nights with the home tutoring to Wednesday and Thursday now". So I am now working twelve hours a day. I have told her repeatedly that I don't want all the extra hours and that I only want to do what I originally agreed to, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. I fear because I am a native English speaker, that I am being taken advantage of.
The real problem is, I am actually in love with her. She knows how I feel, so how do I say no and keep the business side away from the personal side... Any ideas?
I am posting anonymous because you all know me on here now. So I am hoping for some none judge-mental advice on how to deal with a Chinese girlfriend/boss.
10 years 43 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Well you wanted to be Screwed now you got your wish 
the relationship sounds one sided so maybe you should move on and find another school
I agree with phil, you're being screwed in more ways than one.
Honestly, if she's making you work like a bitch in violation of your contract, do you think she's in love with you as well? I'd be looking for another school, depending on my visa situation, if I were you.
A piece of advice - she isn't returning your love. You are a commodity that makes her money, and gives her a bit of foreign dick. If you left tomorrow, she would find someone else.
Go somewhere else, and find a better situation. If you don't do what she wants, she will either throw you out, report you for a real or made-up crime or make life unbearable.
Good point, traveler but if she controls his z-visa, he needs to tread very carefully. If he's working without a z-visa that gives him more scope to leave, but then that carries its own risks if he pisses her off...
Traveler:
Exactly. Under the new visa laws, the Chinese can prevent him from leaving the country if SUSPECTED of a crime, or if she CLAIMS that he owes her money.
She only has to make a false allegation of either, and he's in the shit.
Crimo I know it's you. If you are having problems with the business side and the relationship side then part ways with one of them. I'm sure the other will understand . 
Traveler:
I liked the old Silva better. This is the trouble when one wumao leaves, and a new one takes it's place. The new one is never as good.
TedDBayer:
I think this is a relief wumao, vacation time or Sparkey received her flash lights and abandoned her job.
Sounds as if you are being used, I would find a different school and see if she accepted the relationship to continue, or, seeing how you have only been in China for three months, stop falling in love after one puck, that would clear things up. Silva, how in the world can this be Crimo, I have eknown this guy for two years; he clearly follows Snoop Dogs theory, you can never make a ho your housewife. 
After reading through Miss A and Traveler, I am not sure, knowing how vindictive Chinese, especially their woman, can be, you really have peed in your own back yard, I suggest using tact, if she owns this agency, Im wondering if this agency has the right to hire foreigners, I would think someone that young would not be able to establish so quickly unless she has some serious guanxi. If she does control your Z visa, I suggest not only finding another school, but doing the process all over again and not making the same mistake.
Dude, are you in Hunan province??? If you're in Hunan, RUN, BRO!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, everyone above me, except 99Matty, is right. Also, never get involved with your boss. Start communicating with your blood plasma donor and tell her that you're unhappy working so much. Tell her you want to stick to the contract. Oh... deaf ears? Damn.
It's obvious as hell that she's a ho'! She's obviously using her womanly wiles to squeeze every last bit of life out of you in order to pad her profit margins. The only reason she's having fun with you is that she's thinking about all the crisp red maos you're bringing her way.
Side note: If you really want to go to another school, I can help you switch immediately to a different city and province, free of charge with paid travel expenses. Or, if you need help getting out of China, I can help you with that too. Let me know...
hey guys read the op carefully where do they say they are a Dude?
Fine point Phil... would it be unreasonable to start speculating about who this might be?
What, are you talking lesbian, the post clearly states the boss is a woman, can this be, ok, enough said, I need pictures for confirmation.
Think about it, you're getting screwed every way you can. TIC 
"The real problem is, I am actually in love with her. She knows how I feel, so how do I say no and keep the business side away from the personal side... Any ideas?
" you are not a westerner. because we have enough experience with love to not allow someone to puck us over business wise in the name of love. you fooled many of the posters on this board. congrats to you
