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Posts: 200

Shifu

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Q: Important for Chinese girls to remain girls and not women?

A Chinese friend of mine complained about a gift her bf offered her - a dress that made her look "more mature". She's 25, and the dress looked beautiful on her. Very elegant and sexy at the same time. I think what she meant by more mature was just "woman". It was a woman's dress. "Cute" would be how she dresses.

 

Anyways, she said it wasn't really 'good' (whatever that means) to dress like that for young women, because it made them look older. Being a girl, I guess I understand not wanting to seem too old, but this was so different. This made her look really attractive and more elegant. I just couldn't understand the 'cute' trumping elegance and grace.

11 years 29 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Emperor

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For most girls under 30, cute gets husbands.  Mature & sexy is a sign that they are married and off the market.

WhiteBear:

Exactly. In short words: girl is not-married woman, woman is married girl, or left-over girl (single by purpose or accident, but "single" term is not so popular...).
One of my friends almost killed me, when I told something like "You are wise woman". Reply was instant "I AM A GIRL!!!!!" (she was 28 at this time).
Later on I discovered that (not so subtle) difference.

11 years 29 weeks ago
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11 years 29 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 2409

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For most girls under 30, cute gets husbands.  Mature & sexy is a sign that they are married and off the market.

WhiteBear:

Exactly. In short words: girl is not-married woman, woman is married girl, or left-over girl (single by purpose or accident, but "single" term is not so popular...).
One of my friends almost killed me, when I told something like "You are wise woman". Reply was instant "I AM A GIRL!!!!!" (she was 28 at this time).
Later on I discovered that (not so subtle) difference.

11 years 29 weeks ago
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11 years 29 weeks ago
 
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When a Chinese Lady is in the 28 to 30 years of age bracket, her thinking is concentrated on getting a husband soon before it is too late, and thus they try very hard to dress in a way that they will look younger to increase the odds. 

Because of this, dressing to look more mature, sexy or whatever is totally out of the question, because will make them look older, and if so, either married or with a "problem" to find a partner.

For you it may be harder to understand the reason, for them it is common, every day occurance.

stan118:

are you sure? i see plenty of older women who are prob married and are dressing like a young girl, hot pants see through top silly haircut

11 years 29 weeks ago
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HappyExPat:

Am I sure about what? That older women dress like teenagers ? Of course, it is done because typically they fear death, and want to "look" younger as long as possible. Besides, their idea of "modesty" while dressing differs a lot from ours. And that is on top of the fact that if not married, older looking ladies can not find a suitable or non suitable future husband, because they rather have a younger version.

11 years 29 weeks ago
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11 years 29 weeks ago
 
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I think we're in danger here of 'imposing' our standards, dress sense, and morality onto the Chinese, that isn't fair and is somewhat pointless.

 

People dress differently the world over, the Caribbean nations are famous for vibrant colours. Everywhere is different.

 

In case you hadn't noticed, this is China.

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11 years 29 weeks ago
 
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I learned very early on that in China, the whole "girl/woman thing" is very different from the West.  For example, I once wished my female students "Happy Women's Day" and most of them were disappointed and even a bit sad.  Even the Post Graduate students were not happy about it, because I called them "women" instead of "girls".

Yet, when I was in college 24 years ago, I remember one of my professors was given a written warming that he was bordering on sexual harassment when he called one of my classmates a "girl" (she was 17).  BTW, he also called the male students "boys".

What saved him from being fired was that he was an old prof, mostly retired nearing 80.  Had he been  younger or if it were today, he would have been fired and maybe even sued.  So, like some have said above, it is a cultural difference.

 

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11 years 29 weeks ago
 
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Shifu

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Cultural difference is correct.

 

It's normal to look cute regardless of the age.

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6 years 9 weeks ago
 
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