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Posts: 9

Governor

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Q: Is it common Chinese workers ask about private life?

People i dont know, just work next to ask about what i do on weekends, if i have bf. i know they talk between them in Chinese about me, only i dont understand. they ask me so many questions and i dont know if its rude to say i dont want to tell them. they even comment every day on my clothes and i feel really uncomfortable. anyways, i just find it strange and impolite to be the center of discussion and subject of so many questions. i just dont know how to tell them to stop.

11 years 44 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Posts: 2186

Emperor

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It's part culture and part lack of English.

 

Most Chinese genuinely don't think it rude to ask such questions, but it's not just the Chinese, such lines of questioning are quite common in other nations in this region.

 

Additionally it may be due to your colleagues being desperate to start a conversation with you either in an attempt to be friendly, or just to practice their English and not having sufficient language skills to ask more 'delicately'.

LAR:

Yeah, props to you Hugh. I like the new pic. ^^ South Koreans are the same with the personal questions. Also, as you mentioned it could be due to a lack of English-speaking skills.

11 years 44 weeks ago
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11 years 44 weeks ago
 
Posts: 497

Shifu

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They are just curious Smile

 

I Think, You can gently draw the line of pivacy, when answering.

For example "Yes I have/have not a bf, but more details are private, and I know You understand Wink and how about You?" 

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Governor

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Yes it is very common for total strangers to ask about your private life. They don't understand the western concept of privacy because they don't really have any privacy themselves. I don't think they are trying to be rude, as this is normal for them to ask each other these questions.

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  The three posts above pretty much cover what I was going to say, but I will add this; don't get paranoid about them talking about you, i've always got an ear open for people saying shitty things about foreigners when i'm around, and talk does invariably turn to talk of foreigners when they're around, but i've been surprised at how innocent the talk generally is. Once heard an old guy tell his grand-daughter that all foreigners were bad, but otherwise it is generally just inane chat.

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Shifu

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Yes,it is common for Chinese to ask about private things,it is just culture difference.We talk almost everything.For example,i usually talk with my colleagues about our parents,boyfriends\girlfriends,family problems,life in the past,friends,problems at work,and so on.And guys talk about even how many times they have sex in a week and also porn videos,LOL.Actually we don't care much about privacy as people in west countries do.

chenhan:

You can just give a smile and don't need to say anything if you don't want to.It wouldn't be seen as rude but can solve your problem.

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Posts: 583

Shifu

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Yes..even in the interview they ask whether you have any Girl friend or Boy Friend?? In my last interview I remember..My GM ask me what is the reason for doing job in China - I gave him all the professional reason but in the last he replied: "I know you are here to find a Chinese Girl Friend"..

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 i have taxi drivers constantly ask me how much salary i make, most personal question is why i dont have children at 50, i tell them im a selfish person that has traveled all over the world and have no interest in family, this usually gets them away from me very quick.

they immediately think im insane , i suppose, when students ask me about my salary , i tell them to learn english and look on the english websites at the salaries offered, its no secret what were paid, but i dont discuss it

when the men ask me if i came for a chinese girlfriend , i usually tell the truth, most girls have no chest and if you cut the hair short , they look like the boys. not interested , yes some exceptions do exist for the offended flamers .

my only paradox with personal questions is how can you ask such personal questions from a stranger when if the stranger was dying and bleeding on the sidewalk you would walk on by with no concern at all. something illogical about that..

LAR:

Excellent comments am!! Thanks for sharing! I'll have to remember your quips/comebacks! * Here's another example of a stupid question. I was recently asked at a motel where I'd checked in.."How many children do you have?" :0

* I'd LOVE to hear some other examples of odd/strange/inane questions from Chinese! Fire away! ^^

 

Cheers

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All the time.

I happily answer any question that is not too private, and when they do ask a personal question i am not willing to share, I will smile and say "mimi" (secret. Be sure to use the fourth tone!) if they are strangers, and if acquaintances, I will explain why that is a personal question among many westerners.  Only on one or two occasions have I encountered someone who insisted I give an answer.  The vast majority accept and respect my privacy once i let them know.

 

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Posts: 1090

Shifu

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Hi quell,

              Just be delicately honest and say to them that you are uncomfortable being asked so many personal questions, and people talking about you so much. No, it's not rude to be honest in expressing your feelings in a respectful manner. Try it! Smile

 

Ciao!

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