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Q: is it crucial to be an ass kisser???
to be honest ,i don't like the working atmosphere in china . it seems to learn how to set up a good relationship with you boss is more important than learning how to do you job better . i have never worked in a western country, so i'm wondering is it crucial to be an ass kisser ??? people like me who hate kissing peoples ass doomed to fail in their career???
to set up.a good relationship.is not a bad thing,the ass kissing i mean is acting busy and acting hard-working but actually not doing anything. even try to use the "guan xi" to bad month people who is better than them.should i.change the topic to.is it crucial to cheat ur boss by.guan xi ?
And will you be kind enough to let us know the name of THAT country/planet you come from...where there are no ass kissers...
the rule is the same every where.. ass kissers every where .. opposites every where.. but that doesn't doom anyone...i hope the same for you
i don't think you will be getting many thumbs up..but here is one from my side..
hope you enjoy it...
Well, people kiss arse all over the place. The crucial difference here being that it is extremely over-done by all strata of society.
Not only that; extreme loyalty, obedience and putting the firm before everything in your life is expected too.
Arse kissing is only done by vertically and mentally challenged people
Errrr... It's not because most people kiss asses that you have to do it. I never kissed asses in China, and I can rant against my boss if I feel that the outcome is positive for the team. And I never been sacked or fired for this. If honesty is not appreciated, consider a career change. That does not means that being antisocial is cool either 
If you except to see zero ass kissing outside of China, you're in for a ride. In some countries, people won't be afraid to confront problems, and won't spend all their energy to save the face rather than solving actual problems. But you'll see a lot of office politics, it's in general proportional to the size of the company. Work for a startup or a small company, where most people know each other and have a few well-defined goals.
Well, the way I see it... you can either:
1) Be really skillful with something highly in demand and NOT kiss ass...
2) Have a lot of guan xi and connections but you will still need to kiss a little bit of ass...
3) Have no skills, no connections and kiss MAJOR ass...
So it is up to you, get your skills together or posture up for ass kissing.
I do agree that for a lot of people, where they bring their value is primarily in some connection (i.e. someone in private banking's uncle is with the motor vehicle bureau and can get license plates issued immediately for VIP clients). Nothing we can do about that so no point in whining.
I think a lot of what losers call "ass kissing" is really just having a good attitude towards your job.
There's a big difference between "My that's another lovely tie, sir! You're as a good a shopper as you are a manager!" and "No sweat, I'll take care of that challenging assignment. Don't worry sir...I got this."
There are shitty bosses out there, but 75% of the time someone complains about their boss they probably also had a shitty attitude.
Just on principle you may not like your boss as a person, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything you can learn from them. It's never going to hurt you to just have a good attitude and do the best you can. If you get noticed, awesome...if you don't then whatever you probably developed more in terms of skills and got in good habits anyway.
Which part of " Kissing ass" is so unappealing to people?
Is it the being polite and courteous part?
Doing your job well?
Doing what your told?
How many bosses have you guys come across that are expecting lavish gifts?
Not judging anyone in particular but this sounds alot like someone who isnt happy where they are in life and has decide that the ONLY reason they arent the CEO of a fortune 500 company by now is because they refuse to kiss ass. Man, some people are delusional.
Sinobear:
Being polite and courteous is a given.
Doing your job to the best of your ability is called "work ethic."
Doing what you're told is part and parcel of being an employee.
There're also factors such as pride, self-respect , self-esteem that come into play. Counter that with the notion of "brown-nosing", "boot-licking", and being a sycophant...traits that make you a psychic vampire and cause dissension amongst your coworkers.
I think Robk's answer covers the issue best (OMG! I've complimented Robk...I must be getting soft in my old age.)
Robk:
Haha... yeah, people like that are funny.
They were taught you have to cheat others or kiss ass to have a good living. Work hard and earn a decent living... all the well-off people are EVIL! They did EVIL things to get to where they are!
Or they could just be more clever, harder-working and more resourceful... of course they would take these types of people admitting they suck... which is impossible lol - Thanks for the compliment SInobear! Are you drunk... lol
expatlife26:
Yeah agree 100%...most of the time when someone bitches about ass kissing, it's because they have a shit job and want to find a stupid excuse to somehow be proud of themselves for it.
And yeah sino/robk there's such a huge difference between pointless compliments (and bosses usually see right through that) and just having a good attitude.
Initiative/Ambition = Ass kissing
Hard Work = Ass kissing
Good demeanor = Ass kissing
Rude/Lazy = Sticking it to the man
Shit job you dont take seriously = Self Respect
I may have be living paycheck to paycheck and get fired twice a year for my bad attitude, but at least i'm not one of those ass-kissers! I have too much self respect for that!
Sinobear:
Oh my, expatlife26, take a midol!
Initiative/Ambition = initiative/ambition
Hard Work = hard work
Good demeanor = good demeanor
Rude/Lazy = rude/lazy
Shit job you don't take seriously = lack of self-respect
The difference is, and sticking to the issue of ass-kissing, is your behavior exactly the same whether your boss is there or not?
In the army, there were many ass-kissers. Busy, busy, busy, teamwork, teamwork, teamwork when a superior was present. As soon as no
superior was present, they did nothing but find ways to make others look bad by reporting what was said/done during the superior's absence.
And while I have your attention, are you one of those people who mask incompetence with gratuitous ass-kissing? You seem so angry and defensive over a few general comments. Ask you another question: do you think it's better to die on one's feet rather than live on one's knees or vice-versa?
expatlife26:
Ha! you take a midol, sinobear.
I'm agreeing with you rob and mike.I was under the impression that you also understood the difference as well.
we're supposed to be polite and agreeable at work.
well ,i do agree with some of answer, my boss.is very disorganized.she left things to.do at the last minute and always lost the important stuffs ( ex: business license and certificate),i work as.an admin and i am very organized and efficient at work，i am the only one who know how to do this job (visa application, business license renewal and stuff).she seems never liked me for no.reason and she likes those who kissing her ass even if they dont do.anything in.the office and stealing her students behind her back. she get me.wronged all the time and never listened to my explanation. i didnt.add her on.wechat to.show what i have done every minute to.looks i am valuable like others do. i like my job,but i.really hate the people here. i dont think.i.can get along with her even i.tried before.she used to treats another girls like shit,who.was very qualified and smart at work .and she couldnt put up with her disrespect so she left. even though i dont kiss her ass,i never defy her. i have never asked for pay rise or.refuse what she told.me.to.do.but she just ignore my result and gave compliment to everyone who reducing the business by laziness but criticize me for tiny little things. (like u forgot to.say thankyou on the phone ) i was like.Wtf. so i have no.clue how to get along with a.woman boss. its so difficult for me.
I guess it depends on whose ass I am kissing and what SHE looks like. 
raykwan121:
if you liked pork fat, you probably be happy to kiss her ass
That would explain the breath problem, but how can people literally do it.
China runs on rigid social hierarchy. You know who your betters are, and who your social inferiors (if any) are, and you act accordingly.If you are a humble worker, then your boss is above you, and most likely believes that he or she literally is better than you. A worker, let alone a... "foreigner" getting uppity just won't stand.
Ass kissing, smiling and agreeing obsequiously with your boss, never disagreeing, and keeping your opinions to yourself, are all ways of helping your boss keep social status, and face. If you're ordered to do work that is not in your contract, like unpaid overtime, or duties you never agreed to, you're expected to just say, "Yes sir!"/"Yes ma'am!" Anything resembling disagreement would be acting above your station, and cause a loss of face.
expatlife26:
You don't have to be an ass kisser in China, you can be a c**k sucker. 
