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Q: Is it possible to politely refuse a gift in China?
I was at an older Chinese friend's house yesterday visiting and we started talking about tea. I told her that I like Jasmine tea, and she scurried off into the other room and came back with a large (1000g) contain of tea to give me. She said that it was one of the best (read: most expensive) teas in China, and that she wasn't going to use it so I should take it.
I do like tea, but I felt bad about taking what was probably at least a 1000 rmb thing of tea. I tried the whole "oh no no, I can't" line, but she wasn't going for it. My question is, is there any way in such a situation to politely refuse such an extravagant gift while maintaining face/guanxi?
No. Just accept it, then give it on as a gift to someone else. Win Win.
OldMajor:
In all seriousness, right or wrong, I think this is what happens here quite a lot in my experience.
Face is all important here in China and if you had refused it, she would have lost face. In that case, you would have had to figure out how to give her face back. Face is a conception that most Westerns here simply do not understand and it leads to very awkard situations.
OldMajor is right. Just accept it and then ...
You could lie to them instead of saying flat out no. Just tell them you are allergic to it or that your mother always told you it wasn't nice to take things it's better to give them away. That way it won't seem like you are refusing anything you are just telling her your ways how you were raised.
