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Q: 'Left-over female'?
What do you guys think about this?! I've never even heard of such a thing back home...
Apparently when girls reach 26 or 27 or something and still don't have a boyfriend or are not married, they would be 'rewarded' with this title. I can not imagine... This is such a derogation to any individual being in my opinion.
I've also heard that the purpose of it is to make girls feel urgent about starting a relationship instead of being single, due to the fact that in China there are more men than women. Not sure if it's true....
Any thoughts would be appreciated, thanks!
9 years 38 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Ive never heard that the name has a purpose. In my opinion its just a name. Not particularly nice, but no more offensive than the millions of other titles for everyone in every language.
It's more of a cultural thing. When a woman turns 28 (note that in China they often count the time in the womb as 1 year) she is too old to get married.
The left over woman problem is often tied to career as well, not only time wise, as to postpone starting a family due to the career, but if a woman earns a lot of money or has a high position then extremely few men will want to marry her due to the loss of face (=bullshit reasons) of having a wife who is more successful then you.
All in all it's the result of Confucian bullshit and the worst bits of 5000 years of history.
'Left-over' woman in China stands for divorced woman with female child. No Chinese man will go for the woman with daughter from the previous marriage.
No such a thing, if woman has boy. It is also less likely, she'll be divorced.
My ex-GF has daughter from the last marriage. She wouldn't tell me any details about her ex-husband with excuse 'that's history, it should be forgotten'. Not even when I was pressing with Qs about alimony. She told me, her ex married girl with young son.
Chinese have 'rules' about marriage and kids, and one of the fact is 'face' thingy, why not marry girl with daughter. Male descendant is more valuable than female in Chinese culture (shock).
Hotwater:
Sorry but you are wrong. The term "Sheng Nv" (leftover women) was coined by, of all organisations, The womens federation of china, about 2007. The government was getting concerned about the overall state/intelligence of the Chinese race and saw more intelligent, educated Chinese women getting married later or not at all. So they started propaganda exercises that used the term Sheng Nv to persuade more women to get married earlier, in particualr the more educated ones.
As far as I know, divorced women, particularly with children are known as "2nd hand shoes" (a horrible term!)
icnif77:
My ex-GF English was very poor, and with my non-existent Chinese many things about Chinese customs, I just 'sniffed'. However, sometimes I'm able to 'translate' what Chinese are saying, just by watching their moves and reactions.
yes, there is a lot of rich, smart, beautiful leftover ladies in china, got one myself, thanks china for the gift.
dating and marrying a lady with money is certainly better than working your ass off for a poor one, just wish i figured this out when i was young but the little head always thought it was smarter than the big head.
ambivalentmace:
another benefit is the wife negotiates my side work, i work less, better rates and more free time.
Rich, smart, and independent. Sounds like very likeable women to me, but if you are insecure and unwilling to better yourself, those women are scary.
flyingheart:
You have made an excellent point, Dr. M. Unfortunately it looks like my bf hasn't figured that out...yet. 
these so called left over women are not as bad as chinese men.would have you believe. I have seen many 30+ women here who are smoking hot, intelligent and independant. Better then the hello kitty little girls here.
It's just another brick in the wall between genders. Equality my ass.
Left over women or 剩女 is used by the older generation whose ultimate aim is to marry off their daughters to the richest man they can find so that they can live life happily ever after. When you look around, there appears to be more of such women around than ever before. Women today are not tied down by such stigmas of old. Look at Shanghai, Beijing and Guangzhou, women are not getting married not because they couldn't find the right man, it's because they don't want to get married. Come Spring Festival and you get a lot of them renting boyfriends to show off at home. With the ratio of 120 man to 100 women now, men will be more hard pressed to find a mate. The other issue is the ever increasing requirements of man having to have a house and car before a woman will even consider marrying him. Women today rather not marry than to put up with a man who cannot provide her with all the niceties she wants. Besides women make much more than many men, with financial independence, men are losing lots of ground. Frankly, I don't regard them as left over women. I think of them as more intelligent, better educated and more selective when it comes to marriage.
Scandinavian:
you have to remember your boy/girl ratio is at birth. China has until recently had a severe problem with girls/women suicides, the only country in the world where more women than men committed suicide. So the ratio is actually more "fair"
louischuahm:
Scan, assuming you are right, that means lesser than 100 women for 120 men? Which also means it becomes more difficult for a man to get married, taking into account basic requirements of a house and a car. Then China will be in for huge demographic problems in the near future. The population will not be able to replace itself and will eventually go into negative population growth.
icnif77:
How do you mean 'not able to replace'? They already have 'one kid ban', because they are replacing too fast.
louischuahm:
When every couple can have only one kid, you are effectively cutting down half the population of the next generation. Suppose you have 500 million people (250 million couples) and they can only have 250 million kids. How are they replacing the other 250 million? When the 500 million are old, how are the 250 million able to support the 500 million? To make matters worse, the 250 million can only have 125 million kids, assuming they are equal in gender distribution. That's just 2 generations. When you have this one kid policy over 3, 4 and 5 generations the population will start to fall. Simple math.
icnif77:
I understand that, but that's the whole purpose of 'one child' policy. What are they going to eat, if they don't 'undercut' themselves? Aren't available natural resources cause to cut population, and prevent hunger? And as soon as there's enough (more) available resources, they can release the ban.
'Math' doesn't eat and drink.
And on the other side, Chinese population couldn't grow that fast/big, if China would have similar set-up as Sahara. Wherever you look in China, there's a water. Water resources in China are main condition for 1.3B population.
louischuahm:
The question is what will they do when the population ages ? They have less people to support their social system. They are already discussing this. With an ageing population and with it not growing, the economy will take a hit because productivity slows down. Such is the problem with economic policies, there is always a trade off. China has enough resources to sustain its population. However, by drastically halving new population growth brings only temporary relief. Long term policies must take into account economic growth without letting other factors suffer.
hunny797:
but as far as I know one child policy is not for everyone..
So many people can have more than one child... So i will do the math like this
500 million people make 350 million kids and the next makes about 200 million...they can keep this policy until the population is under control... And then they can allow again to have 2-3 or 4 children...
louischuahm:
Yes, I agree that some parents can have more than one child. However, this is restricted to the rural parts of China where they must register their children in rural hukous only. Recently, they've come up with a new policy - if a couple has only one female child, they can have another child provided always that either one of the parents are from a one child family. Looking at this policy, you can tell that the Chinese government already realized that the original one child policy has gone beyond it's usefulness and is now causing demographic issues. Nevertheless, the population will continue to dwindle if they don't reverse it anytime soon. It takes generations to undo the damage because people have been indoctrinated with the idea of having only one kid. Plus, women love their new found freedom, not being tied to child raising and wanting careers so that they can have financial independence .
Scandinavian:
The "usual" number that is flung around says the OCP has prevented the birth of 400 million.
I am 27,am I a left-over woman?lol...Hell no.I think I left Chinese men over
I have been told by many some Chinese men that my body is too sexy to be considered as a wife because most men want to look at me and get a woman likes me.Some Chinese men feel so insecure to marry a woman likes me.So actually the Chinese men who were chasing me are usually young,rich,well educated boys and overseas returned sucessful young business man who are more confident.But everytime I pushed them away.Sorry,they are just not my type,I like white boy^^
I can even make living in big city likes Shanghai by myself.So why not pursure the man who I really find attractive?^^
Working,party,dance,drinking,traveling,dress hot.I can even make better salary than many 27 years old boys if I really want to get a busy job,lol.
Be free and fly,ladies.
Scandinavian:
as long as you don't feel left over. that is the main point :)
Victoria1987:
Hell no.I feel very confident.lol...Even got chased by boys five and six years younger last year.My proud history. I want to find a cute white boy as my bf^^lalala Left Chinese boys over forever.Sorry,Chinese mates
flyingheart:
But why a foreigner, Victoria? As you might have realized, many if not all foreigners in China are lazy scums who can leave the country without you any minute when they think things are getting too hard or simply when they get bored. Chinese men are no more reliable but the maths tells you that chances are far greater for you to find a nice Chinese lad than a "white boy" of a similar quality.
Victoria1987:
I care about the looking as well as the personality. Chinese men's looking are just not my type.Some ppl just prefer coffee than tea.Understand? Chinese boys are usually better quality than white boy? I do not think so.I dated good white boy who was faithful,fun.It is a rare among chinese boys.lol I know so many Chinese men cheat.
Robk:
@flyingheart - that isn't true at all. I know many married couples with foreign/Chinese that are happy.
Have you been reading that stupid article - Zhong guo nu ren - Qing bu yao shang lao wai de chuang?
Back home has lots of left over women, the older they are, the more of them. Most women in China that I met are available, even if they say they have no boy friend or husband doesn't mean that's true.
"Missed the boat" is an old term used in the West, but anyone who uses it makes no friends, unless in extremely chauvinisic company. And we wouldn't use it for women under 35, if ever. People in the West tend not to pry so cruelly into others' relationship ststus, anyway. In fact, it's more common that men will get dressed down for being old and single, since men are less hurt personally by it.
There was some decent discussion on the topic in this podcast
http://popupchinese.com/lessons/sinica/leftover-women-misogynistic-troll...
Many of the leftover in China are highly educated women, Chinese men are so insecure that they would lose face simply by walking in public with a woman who's more educated than they are.
I know quite a few of them, very smart, very well mannered, very pretty women, but too educated for Chinese men. And it's not that they are picky.
I have to agree. Left-over women usually fall into the two categories:
1) Too self absorbed and delusional to get a good man.
2) Too smart, too much of an individual and intimidating for most Chinese men. Won't obey him like a servant and watch as he cheats on her while she takes care of his "little emperor" and constantly criticized by his mother.
Chinese needs a new term for this women. They are not left-overs....they are the cream of the crop and used their heads. Men made up this term to try and put a cloud over the head of the women that would not be controlled by a stupid society.
In case you missed it this 3 part interview (and book) gives a great deal of info on the subject. http://shanghaiist.com/2014/04/14/interview-leta-hong-fincher-part-one.php
