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Q: Longterm expats: What's your attitude towards friendship with short-term expats?
I've been living in China for years, during which time I've made and lost countless friendships with people who came and went. This is of course to be expected, but I've reached the stage of just not wanting to bother with people who I know will be leaving China in a few months. Because the truth is: you're probably never going to see them again. And there's another reason which may make me sound like a selfish person but...short-termers clearly have more to gain by befriending a long-termer because of the valuable tips and insight long-termers provide, while the only thing a longtermer can gain from a short-termer is someone to temporarily hangout with.
Can anyone relate? How do you deal with this? I've simply gone through so many people who left with a good bye dinner, sent a couple of facebook messages and disappeared. What's the point?
11 years 31 weeks ago in Relationships - China
i know how you feel, you just gotta pick and chose who you want to hangout with, no sure way of telling, but if you make a good friend you will be rewarded with a friend for life which will benefit you in the long run
It's like a newbie joining my football team.......I have to take him under my wing and teach him everything i know so that he doesn't get screwed the same way i got when i first came here.........I really try my best to help all the new expats cause i was one and i felt the pain in different ways and i really really really don't want them to feel what i felt especially in china.......Cause china got too many screwed up shit like cheating and so on.........God Bles all the new guys and welcome to china and remember the old guys are always here to help and guide and do their best for the new ones not to deal with what we have been dealing with..........God bless every expat in china including the people who dislike me
I only know long-term visitors to China, I spit on short-termers, they disgust me.
Ok, not true, i'm happy to make friends with anyone who is happy to make friends with me and can stand the sight of my growth. Friendships with short-term visitors are good, they're just honeymoon friendships, simple and fun; you can tell all your favourite stories because they haven't heard them yet, then once they've known you long enough to realise that you're actually pretty dull you can watch them bugger off.
lokethebloke:
Was just about to lay into you for spitting - you are so funny, fantastic.
I don't know any short termers, but then my social circle is incredibly small. I 'hang out' with only one expat, (a long termer), I know of 3 or 4 others (ex colleagues) but we don't socialise much, apart from that I have a few Chinese friends and my wife's family. I'm an insular type of guy what is more, I like it that way.
