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Q: Lost in translation? What problems have you had?
I've made cock-ups in speaking Chinese, from asking a waitress for sweet and sour arse to enquiring as to whether customers who were taking a shit got special discounts. On a plane once the stewardess asked me to read a sign by the emergency door so that I would be prepared 'when' the plane crashed and I even had a student tell me once that her hero was Pele, The Brazilian Flasher. Second languages can make for some funny experiences. Share some.
oh yeah. I'm Chinese and my boyfriend's from US. When he asked my parents permission to court me; he said "I wanted to court your fish" instead of "I want to court your daughter"; and because he had such a strong accent speaking Chinese my parents did not even understand what he said. my cousin had to translate his Chinese to my Chinese parents. It was one of the funniest experience. 
I guess I've heard some interesting mistakes made by Chinese people when they are unsure of the correct English translation. One girl that visited my office recently told me she can't eat western food because it gives her "destination" (indigestion). My secretary is always talking about the "language bacteria" when communicating with overseas customers.
Another common problem is misuse of the word "play" because of translation directly from Chinese. One boy once made me laugh with the following sentence "All of my friends have girlfriends except me so I have to play with myself every night".
Another amusing statement was from an environmental protection forum that I attended. One of the delegates was a specialist in soil erosion projects. He proclaimed that he "likes breaking wind and hopes he can spend the rest of his life doing so".
HugAPanda:
Who doesn't like breaking wind?! LOL Those were cute. Thanks.
I'm sure I've said some stupid things in Chinese, but there hasn't been anyone to explain my idiocy.
However, one absurd thing that recently happened was a student that was asking about the math class we will have next year. She asked if she would need to bring a helicopter to class, in fact she meant calculator, but we all had a good laugh about it.
Gaohao:
Yeh, that reminds me of a time I was having dinner with friends and one Chinese girl asked me to pass the salt and vagina to put on her chips.
I was invited for a dinner by small company in Pinghu city. The girl from this company that makes a translation used many times "pocket translator".
When in this conditions I wanted to have "save" choice of food, so I asked for some fish.
She said OK, and when food was to appear on the table she pointed out some semi-translucent item and said "this is specially for You - fish". I double asked if it really is a fish, then probed... It was one of the worst food I ever eat in China...
She looked confused, when I doubt if it really IS a fish. Then She clicked some on the pocket translator and I saw Her smile... " Oh YES IT IS FISH! ... jellyfish " 
I ate f**** jellyfish
Gaohao:
Haha, yeh, that reminds me of a time 7 years back when I was drinking with some chefs one night. One of them brought out a bottle of rice wine with some embryos in it. I asked what they were and when he answered I mistranslated it as rabbit. I thought to myself, "Rabbit's ain't so bad. Little furry bunnies. Sure, why not?"
Took me until the next day to check a dictionary and discover i'd been getting drunk on wine with dead rats in it. Yum.
I mispronounced help. So, I asked one of my students if she wold help me with my homework, except instead of saying "Bāngzhù" (help) I said "Bǎng zhù which means tie up. She was really perplexed, and checked her dictionary and then showed me. I was REALLY embarrassed....
Tones DO matter!!!!!
