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anonymous
Q: Meeting boyfriends family for the first time
My boyfriend is Chinese from Hunan and I'm meeting his family for the first time this October holiday. Any Dos and Don'ts??? Getting a bit nervous now!!
10 years 29 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Be yourself. (and by that I mean, maybe they have different expectations of a future daughter in law, but they have to accept you for who you are)
I have a Chinese wife but would give you this little bit of advice.
Do not change who you are for them. Make sure you are not bending over backwards just to please them. If you disagree with something, that is your right. I learned this the hard way when I threw all my toys out the pram and blew up on her parents for interfering way too much.
Be true to yourself but try to enjoy the experience.
The parents want to see that you have the ability of being a good wife and taking care of their son. Make sure you bring presents for the family (shows that you'll take care of them), brag about your high salary and how well you're doing at work, mention how you want to have lots of babies and enjoy cooking and if you come from a background with money make sure to squeeze that into conversation too.
Scandinavian:
Moonlake, this advice sucks. Never ask a non-Chinese to lie.
Moonlake:
It sucks but many of the older generations still value materialism and measure their child's prosperity by the amount of material possessions and assets they gain after marrying, not on how much one loves the other. Obviously not all people are like this and my parents-in-law never once asked about money. They just wanted someone who would take care of their son and be loving and kind. I guess it depends from person to person so I admit my answer was a little one-sided. Maybe I was having a bad China day when I wrote it.
Well seeing as women are second class citizens here, the fact that you have a womb AND a foreign passport may be a 'one-up' for you. Then again, that and your 'western ways' may pose a threat also: the parents might fear you will poison your fella's mind and steal out of the country with him. No point second guessing the situation, just be yourself (God, I sound like Jimminy bleeding Cricket), and make sure to have a "Kiss my arse" ready to say under your breath if they give you the stink-eye.
Traditional Ancient Revered Confucious protocol calls for the Newlywed to demonstrate her Oral Ability upon the Father of the Household immediately upon first sight of him.
(deploy hong-baos in widespread fashion to enhance the Oral performance)
mArtiAn:
Yeh, and doofus here, ever eager to please, got that all mixed round the wrong way and now i'm not allowed in their house.
qbsinceage10:
Yes, this is what dd1 did when meeting his girlfriend's family!
