The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 61

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Q: MIL - would you put her in a nursing home if you could?

Or, does she actually contribute to the point where you quite like having her around?

 

 

9 years 18 weeks ago in  Family & Kids - China

 
Answers (9)
Comments (6)
Posts: 9631

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Did you ever see a Chinese nursing home. ? They are like the hospitals. Well actually there is a old folks community being built here in town, but it's for the rich only. It's part of some bigger chain, I guess a time-share concept where you buy in, and then you can book an apartment for a duration and then move on to another community after that if you'd like. 

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3256

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

If it's a nursing home in China, from what I saw of the hospitals, I would be feel horrible for my MIL. Back home, nursing home can be good (we have our horror stories in that department tho), but she would feel horrible too : the cultural gap is immense, language barer, the kind of things she might not really enjoy in her old days. If she need care, having her with us would be better, and in China, not anywhere else. It's where things make sense to her, where all the people she knows are, etc.

Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 3269

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

With 2 young boys and and antisocial FIL? Past arguments are forgotten, because we need her more than she needs us right now. I'm even thinking how to get her to come with the family abroad, when the time comes. She's far more helpful than my own mother, and she seems to take lessons from my affection to the boys: Nobody else taught her to be genuinely caring and affectionate, but she's taken to it like a fish in water.

The days of listening to other people's opinions about not wearing diapers in summer, irrational overprotectiveness, and whistle-squat peeing, are over. I even think it has gone a bit extreme, because I'm suggesting we should put something ON the babies' heads in the cold winter, but they insist no hat is better for the development of hair. Adapting to western lifestyle seems to be proceeding, but rational, balanced approach to issues is a bit harder to learn...

My 2nd son didn't even get his hair shaved off, and he's 3 months now. I was getting worried that not shaving might be bad for his hair, because it looked a lot thinner than my older boy's. But the hair is getting fuller now, so I was wrong. Perhaps I'm becoming too Chinese?

Scandinavian:

hey this is China, you can stick the kids in one of those boarding-kindergartens where they stay in small rooms, stacked in 4-story bunk beds and get to "learn" all day and night. 

9 years 17 weeks ago
Report Abuse

coineineagh:

Hah! Letting them play computergames all day would be more productive. Start off with brainteaser-style kids' games, then RPG and Strategy games once they get a bit older. Set up a system of goals and rewards/punishments for things they learn during play, with a bit of nudging and pointing out to help them along. By the time they're teenagers, they'll be playing Europa Universalis IV with their old man in a 'mommys basement' style classroom. I should pay attention to ergonomic seating so they don't develop the back problems I did, and mandatory outdoor activities every day so they don't get fat or myopic. Before long, their friends will be lining up to enroll in my basement classroom! Homeschooling sounds like a lot of fun for all, not to mention a lot more educational than National Humiliation Education. ...but emigrating is probably a better idea. ;)

9 years 17 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 18 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4397

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

  She belongs in some kind of home. A dogs home maybe, she's got a face like a bull mastiff licking piss off a nettle.

Burak43:

You have something to look forward to 20-30 years down the line!

9 years 17 weeks ago
Report Abuse

mArtiAn:

Yep, a new wife 20 or 30 years younger.

9 years 17 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7178

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

No way. She is family.

Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4935

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

No, but I would put the brother-in-law in a nursing home fo'sho. And by that, "nursing home," I mean, "maximum security prison in solitary confinement."

Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 136

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

Awww I love all the sudden MIL love!

Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2578

Emperor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

my MIL is a very special woman .... I like her  just would never live under the same roof as her.  bossy bitch at her home...  sweet as hell anywhere else.

 

maybe another couple years.. she's only 71, 75 maybe she will realize that I am the boss now..in her home or any home..... we both like control!!!! I have time.... wait her out without throttling her.

Hotwater:

You've got no chance of her changing!

9 years 17 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 17 weeks ago
 
Posts: 10

Governor

0
0
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

No absolutely. This would be very unrespectful. I want to keep her home with my family.

Nessquick:

My Grandpa was upset, unhappy and wishing to die as soon as possible when he was after brain attack. He have come back from hospital in a state as newborn. couldn't walk, talk or eat by himself. I have moved in his home and with help of rest of family, we have recovered him greatly, he could smoke and pour beer in his glass, eat clearly and all the things. Just what he can't, was holding his urine or shit. So every morning I have to change his diapers and clean his ass. On weekends he got bath from his daughter and son-in-law. 

Do you thing it was not embracing for him, to undergo this all ? when I was small he cleaned my ass, but non of us expected it would happen on day the other way around.

 

 It depends on people around, but sometimes is better to be in daycare, sometimes at home. you should consider both sides, wishes and the level of work around and the things mentioned above, if you willing to go this way...

9 years 7 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
9 years 7 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77