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Q: Is money especially important in China in demonstrating affection?
My girl offered me something last night for the Chinese Valentine's which cost her upwards of 600 kuai (I saw the price because the tag couldn't be removed - I had to try it on first before returning it if it didn't fit).
It was an unexpected gesture on her part and I was pleasantly surprised, but she apologized that she hadn't spent more, and that if her earnings were higher, she would have spent a lot more. I didn't understand this line of reasoning at all, but she then made it clear that she was expecting (in the future) for me to also adopt this line of thinking, and that gifts should almost automatically be commensurate to my pay. This essentially means that there's a minimum, under which you cannot go when buying gifts. And that the more you spend, the more it shows you care.
The other day she told me how the "talk of the day" at her office was about a mid-level employee who had somehow bought a 50,000 yuan LV bag for his gf. Something almost impossible, given his earnings. The women at the company were both shocked at how he could afford it, but also impressed by his true "demonstration of love".
Does this make sense to anyone?
11 years 35 weeks ago in Relationships - China
Love & financial security are often interchangeable terms here. Of course, I have also seen those 50k handbags being sold in Guangzhou for about 300-400 yuan.
It makes sense to me, that bag was a fake.
Basically MUCH of China is very poor, so people are aware of poverty and afraid of poverty. So money matters. It doesn't mean that's all they are as people, but practical is practical, it's just not something we're forced to think so hard about in the west. But i'll tell you one thing, you get Brad Pitt and a Brad Pitt twin who's living on the street, and I can guarantee which one's going to get a date on Saturday night. As the saying goes, 'When poverty comes in through the door, love flies out the window'.
PtotheB:
Your argument doesn't hold. People aren't 'poor' in Beijing and Shanghai, and yet that's where this type of behavior (obsession with money) is most prevalent.
My ex once said it would be a joke if I bought her something under 300 yuan for her birthday. I would and did buy her for a lot more than that, but just the fact that she said it the way she did - like the gift didn't matter, so much as the cost of it - was both disturbing and disgusting.
mArtiAn:
Well I guess it's part status as well then; something solid she can hold onto to show not just herself but others, that you're after more than just her goodies. I know how you feel though, that kind of behaviour doesn't work with me either.
well..........the thing is like this....chinese are so what materialistic but am not generalising...some of them are.................and i do presume that this is the way they will go to....to show affection......throwing some junk and money to show how they feel
If that is your girls attitude, find a new girl. When they start "expecting" expensive gifts, it is no longer a gift; but becomes "payment." Understand?
So, to answer your question; no, unless that is what you want to base (and have her base) your affection on. If so, have at it, but don't be surprised when she leaves you because some other guy shows her "greater affection."
money is important cause it is a driven thought from the parents to find a man with a car, a house, and money. Many of them do this cause when they are old and frail they can live off the man. The parents also drive the thought of if he has no money how can he look after you how can he provided for you but what they are actually saying is how can he provide for US.
And the men here are all to gullible to keep believing this piss poor belief. How many men have you come across here who are mid to late twenties with no GF saying oh I cannot have a gf yet cause i need to buy a house and car first then find a gf.
Another point the woman who are doing this will leave you when you cannot provide the next apple product or the new bmw car. Also these woman are the ones who are 30-50yrs old who are cheating on there partners cause they get no satisfaction cause they thought money, gifts, and everything under the sun would make them happy.
Hoped you enjoyed my rant.
well its silly, ive told this to a few of my friends, just cos guy buys you a nice gift dont mean he loves you, rich people are spending money all the time on girls they are just having fun with, no love there im afraid, like we say back at home its not the gift that counts but the thought behind it, so dont get to attached to the value of the gift, i made my aunt a photo album when i was 5 as a gift for her, cost me nothing and she still has it today and she reminds me the story all the time and how it was a really nice gift
Up to a point, yes. You dont ant to come across as cheap....
.As the saying goes, Chinese will prayer Buddha but worship money, Unfortuntely.
I want to say that there must not a word in the Chinese language for "affection" as we know it. I don't speak Chinese so I can't say that.
But I guess it must be ...Affection, Love = RMB
There I said it.
derek:
I stand corrected on my 999th post and mArtAin....u are forever in my record book.
