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anonymous
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Q: My girlfriend's mother hates, my girlfriend wants to get a passport but, she need documents mom has

My girlfriend's mother hates me because I am white.  My girlfriend wants to get a passport but, she need some documents (birth certificate I assume) that her mother has.  Her mother will not give her the documents because she is afraid her daughter will marry me.  Is there a way to get these documents she needs from a government office? She does have an ID card.  

10 years 15 weeks ago in  Relationships - China

 
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Posts: 561

Governor

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Talk to Hulk. He had a very simIliad situation. Hope yours turns out better.

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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1876

Emperor

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It's the Hukou (household registration book). My wife lifted it to get all the necessary paperwork done (I was in the same boat as you appear to be in).

I will tell you this - even if they fight like cats and dogs, her family will always come first. Something to think about if you are considering the next step. 

Iron_Monkey:

Yup family is always first, you'll most likely never be her number 1.  Number 2 and 3 are usually also reserved for classmates and/or hometown friends since childhood.  Really if you can secure spot 3 or 4 in her mind consider yourself lucky.

10 years 15 weeks ago
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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
Posts: 138

Governor

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Yes.The document is called HuKou here in China.

 

One of my friend was in the same situation once.His girlfriend's mom didn't like him.What was worse,his mom disliked his girlfriend either...When they decided to get married,they also needed the HuKou.One day the girl asked her mom to go shopping and texted a message to her cousin to steal the HuKou...Just like a movie!

 

Of course I don't suggest you to do that since it's too risky.I think you'd better first figure out the reason why her mom hates you as a white.Is it because she has heard many news about white trash and put you into that basket?You know the first impression is hard to change.Or because she knows so few things about foreigners and just don't want her daughter to take risk of trying new things or new guys?

 

Anyway the best way to change somebody's thought is to face it bravely and communicate with him/her sincerely.Putting the problem aside could only make it worse.

 

Good luck

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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Emperor

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Ive never seen this problem, I had no issues with my girls family they are awsome. and my friends had at least decent relationships.  But they are right its the hukou you need.  If the mom wont hand it over then u have every right to steal it, its your girls... Tell her mom that your looking into buying a house. You also need the hukou for that. im 99% sure the mom hates you because she doesnt trust that your not gonna be homeless next year and run away from China. With or wothout her daughter. If she thinks your buying a house she would calm down a whole heck of alot

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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
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Trick: say your wife needs the Hukou to find a job. Wait a bit. TAKE THE HUKOU AND RUN!

 

They gave it to us, though.

 

Otherwise, you can go to the PSB in her hometown and get a replacement Hukou.

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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
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take her to hong kong to get married and piss off everybody, good luck.

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10 years 15 weeks ago
 
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