The place to ask China-related questions!
Beijing Shanghai Guangzhou Shenzhen Chengdu Xi'an Hangzhou Qingdao Dalian Suzhou Nanjing More Cities>>

Categories

Close
Welcome to eChinacities Answers! Please or register if you wish to join conversations or ask questions relating to life in China. For help, click here.
X

Verify email

Your verification code has been sent to:

Didn`t receive your code? Resend code

By continuing you agree to eChinacities's Privacy Policy .

Sign up with Google Sign up with Facebook
Sign up with Email Already have an account? .
Posts: 2240

Shifu

4
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
6

Q: Is this my problem mainly?

I have dated several  white guys in Shanghai, they told me that I don't click with them.

 

I start to wondering if I am a good fit for most white guys.

 

 

7 years 10 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
Highest Voted
Posts: 1072

Shifu

5
6
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

maybe you are trying too hard, and they sense that.

or are trying to force the relationship in a direction the guys don't want to go yet.

 

any relationship takes time and patience, understanding and compromise, negotiation and sometimes a degree of sacrifice if it is to succeed.

 

people can smell desperation in a relationship.

a successful relationship is not a 100 meter sprint, but a succession of marathons that require so many different things from people, and finding the right balance can take time.

each person is different so you can't expect one guy to behave exactly like another, and if you are not prepared to go the distance and learn about the individual, and vice versa, then of course the relationship will fail.

and this applies to men as well as women

Viki87:

Part is this reason but more because they don't compromise.

 

My last ex would use my tooth brush, throw dirty clothes and used condom around the house, will not wash plates for many days I think. I hate it but try a bit to compromise. 

 

But he rarely show his compromise. He wanted me to watch film with him but I didn't want then he seem not happy. I told him I was cold to have sex without blanket on but he just pulled my blanket away, I was still cold and sleepy and refused to cooperate, then he got pissed then went to living room, I then found he threw my coat on the floor because he said that he's pissed because of me.

 

I put the left food with the left steak from several days ago together, he got mad and said damn.

 

I cook for him, cleaned plates and kitchen and house for him for many many times, I boiled the hot water as he said he likes to drink hot water, I gifted him some snacks he likes.

 

He never said please, he just asked will I clean the kitchen? Everytime when I was visiting him, he acted like that I wanted to live at his flat for fee so he acted like that I had to do all the housework in return. But actually I have my own room in the city center. Even its not as good as his.

 

I remember when I first started dating him, he cancelled our plan to go to park cause he said repairing his computer is more important than anything.

 

I acted emotional sometimes for telling things I didn't mean it like I didn't care about he delete me or not or I didn't care about his ticket or I never wanted to come to his again, but I told him I didn't mean it, but he still wants to break up with me.

 

Yesterday I went to visit him after he said that he never wanted to see me anymore. I was cold and hungry, I begged him to let me come in to stay for a night and have some hot water. I told him I just wanted to spend the last night with the guy I like then I would leave on tomorrow. He told me to not follow him upstairs. His house is like one hour and half away from mine.

He's an American at my same age. I think I wasn't acting reasonable sometimes but I feel I gave more effort than he made. I acted emotional for some reason. Like he told me when he went to have massage he would order girls to do it. I asked him why. He told he likes the feeling to be touched by girls. I felt so sad and mad and acted dramatic.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

Viki, if what you are saying is true and accurate about that guy, then you sure have picked a Loser!  I pray that you are not one of those women who sub-conciously desire to be emotionally abused.  There are good men out there and you can find one.

if some person treats you like sh*t then you need to get away asap. 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

ditch him asap.  don't hang out with some ass who emotionally abuses you.  there are good guys out there, you can find one.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Spiderboenz:

Why would you willingly spend time with someone who treats you with such disrespect?  

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I don't think that he treat me good enough. It's sad but now I don't beg him to come back to me anymore. 

 

I just fell for him even though I know I deserve better. I need time to recover a bit from the pain.

 

 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@ Viki

 

could it be that you are constantly repeating a pattern when you come to your relationships - you said in another post that one reason why you kept losing jobs was because you were 'emotional'. to me that says little self control because if a person can't control what that say at work, in my experience they are less able to control themselves at home.

 

apart from anything else, the guy sounds like a complete a-hole and you should have left him so much sooner.

 

a couple of points.

1) Pick your battles.

getting angry at a guy who wants you to watch a film is ridiculous because it is such a trivial thing. all he is probably saying is that he wants to spend time with you, because this is part of the give and take in a relationship. no doubt you wanted him to sit through some film you wanted to watch and he had no interest in.

likewise getting angry when a guy wants to fix his computer.

once, maybe twice this is an acceptable reason to cancel plans because for non-chinese the computer is a life-line out of china. But if this happens on a regular basis, then it is time to confront the guy more directly.

 

Cleaning up after a guy.

I would never clean a guys kitchen (or anywhere else) unless he was incapacitated through illness or injury, and then only as a shared chore on occasion. I am not his mother or slave, and this sort of thing is a good measure of a guy's character in the area of independence ability to organize his life. Nor would i cook for him that often unless he returned the favor.

 

as another poster said, you were just enabling this jerk because you seemed to treat the trivial things way too seriously and let him off on the major character points.

 

and going back to him and begging to be let in - major desperation.

i know that this time of the year, CNY, family will be pressuring you to have some sort of relationship, but acting needy and desperate to an a-hole is not the solution.

 

i would be curious to know how you ended up with this guy.

was he good-looking or was it something about his character that initially attracted you?

if it was mainly his looks, then you seriously need to re-examine your priorities when it comes to dating.

 

there are so many relationship deal-breakers you have ignored.

could it be that he saw you as the 'easy' Chinese girl that some foreigners seem to like to brag about?

 

finally, regarding 'compromise'

this is often reached after negotiation. How long did you spend on negotiation of acceptable relationship boundaries before you compromised into being his skivvy and sex toy?

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

The 'jerk' or 'bitch' type is mostly a problem that appears when you choose to have a serious relationship with a person just because he/she is good looking. Not that I consider myself ugly, but a healthy relationship can't be based on look only.

 

It's okay to have casual dating / sex with a good looking person, I banged lots of hotties myself in the past, but when it comes to serious relationships and getting married, you must look past the appearance. Is he/she a good person? Does he/she have a healthy lifestyle? Is he/she a stable person that can be trusted? Etc...

 

Once you see past the outlook, you should be able to find the right person for yourself. He doesn't have to be 1.90 with an athlete body and an angel face, it's okay to lower your physical standards, but you can't lower your inner standards. I don't mean ugly, but he doesn't have to be 'hot' looking, average is fine too.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

The 'jerk' or 'bitch' type is mostly a problem that appears when you choose to have a serious relationship with a person just because he/she is good looking. Not that I consider myself ugly, but a healthy relationship can't be based on look only.

 

It's okay to have casual dating / sex with a good looking person, I banged lots of hotties myself in the past, but when it comes to serious relationships and getting married, you must look past the appearance. Is he/she a good person? Does he/she have a healthy lifestyle? Is he/she a stable person that can be trusted? Etc...

 

Once you see past the outlook, you should be able to find the right person for yourself. He doesn't have to be 1.90 with an athlete body and an angel face, it's okay to lower your physical standards, but you can't lower your inner standards. I don't mean ugly, but he doesn't have to be 'hot' looking, average is fine too.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I never said he's hot. He's 187cm, not hot but not bad either.

 

Never said it is the looks alone?

 

why you keep saying things I didn't even said.

 

He's the guy I shared so many common interest with. We went to bars, events, restaurants we like. It was fun.

 

He's very outgoing, he can just walk to anyone and chat around. That made me giggle. I sometimes would giggle while I was thinking of him, I think he's such a cute guy.

 

He doesn't mind if I want to wear sexy.

 

I felt for him and I got attached to him that fast. Well, I got attached to guy very easily which I know, but that's the feeling I couldn't control. Who can control their own feelings?

 

Some people said they don't feel attached to someone fast, it's just because that's how they are, so they don't need to control the feeling.

 

I like a lot things on him, he's just a teddy bear who could cuddle with me on sofa and running around to make many friends.

 

He could just chat with me a lot when with me.

 

 

He'd hug me on sofa and make me read English novel and correct my pronounciation:) He has many good things I like even he does treat me bad too. He treat me good sometimes too like come to pick me up with his scooter at the metro station or took me to buy clothes for me or paid expensive ticket and meals for me.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Answers (13)
Comments (35)
Posts: 7204

Emperor

0
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
4

From what I know about you ...i would say you are an aquired taste .
But i would also say that you will find the right one for you eventually.
took the best part of 40 years till i met my wife.
it will happen one day for you

Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1072

Shifu

5
6
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

maybe you are trying too hard, and they sense that.

or are trying to force the relationship in a direction the guys don't want to go yet.

 

any relationship takes time and patience, understanding and compromise, negotiation and sometimes a degree of sacrifice if it is to succeed.

 

people can smell desperation in a relationship.

a successful relationship is not a 100 meter sprint, but a succession of marathons that require so many different things from people, and finding the right balance can take time.

each person is different so you can't expect one guy to behave exactly like another, and if you are not prepared to go the distance and learn about the individual, and vice versa, then of course the relationship will fail.

and this applies to men as well as women

Viki87:

Part is this reason but more because they don't compromise.

 

My last ex would use my tooth brush, throw dirty clothes and used condom around the house, will not wash plates for many days I think. I hate it but try a bit to compromise. 

 

But he rarely show his compromise. He wanted me to watch film with him but I didn't want then he seem not happy. I told him I was cold to have sex without blanket on but he just pulled my blanket away, I was still cold and sleepy and refused to cooperate, then he got pissed then went to living room, I then found he threw my coat on the floor because he said that he's pissed because of me.

 

I put the left food with the left steak from several days ago together, he got mad and said damn.

 

I cook for him, cleaned plates and kitchen and house for him for many many times, I boiled the hot water as he said he likes to drink hot water, I gifted him some snacks he likes.

 

He never said please, he just asked will I clean the kitchen? Everytime when I was visiting him, he acted like that I wanted to live at his flat for fee so he acted like that I had to do all the housework in return. But actually I have my own room in the city center. Even its not as good as his.

 

I remember when I first started dating him, he cancelled our plan to go to park cause he said repairing his computer is more important than anything.

 

I acted emotional sometimes for telling things I didn't mean it like I didn't care about he delete me or not or I didn't care about his ticket or I never wanted to come to his again, but I told him I didn't mean it, but he still wants to break up with me.

 

Yesterday I went to visit him after he said that he never wanted to see me anymore. I was cold and hungry, I begged him to let me come in to stay for a night and have some hot water. I told him I just wanted to spend the last night with the guy I like then I would leave on tomorrow. He told me to not follow him upstairs. His house is like one hour and half away from mine.

He's an American at my same age. I think I wasn't acting reasonable sometimes but I feel I gave more effort than he made. I acted emotional for some reason. Like he told me when he went to have massage he would order girls to do it. I asked him why. He told he likes the feeling to be touched by girls. I felt so sad and mad and acted dramatic.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

Viki, if what you are saying is true and accurate about that guy, then you sure have picked a Loser!  I pray that you are not one of those women who sub-conciously desire to be emotionally abused.  There are good men out there and you can find one.

if some person treats you like sh*t then you need to get away asap. 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

ditch him asap.  don't hang out with some ass who emotionally abuses you.  there are good guys out there, you can find one.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Spiderboenz:

Why would you willingly spend time with someone who treats you with such disrespect?  

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I don't think that he treat me good enough. It's sad but now I don't beg him to come back to me anymore. 

 

I just fell for him even though I know I deserve better. I need time to recover a bit from the pain.

 

 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Blondie_:

@ Viki

 

could it be that you are constantly repeating a pattern when you come to your relationships - you said in another post that one reason why you kept losing jobs was because you were 'emotional'. to me that says little self control because if a person can't control what that say at work, in my experience they are less able to control themselves at home.

 

apart from anything else, the guy sounds like a complete a-hole and you should have left him so much sooner.

 

a couple of points.

1) Pick your battles.

getting angry at a guy who wants you to watch a film is ridiculous because it is such a trivial thing. all he is probably saying is that he wants to spend time with you, because this is part of the give and take in a relationship. no doubt you wanted him to sit through some film you wanted to watch and he had no interest in.

likewise getting angry when a guy wants to fix his computer.

once, maybe twice this is an acceptable reason to cancel plans because for non-chinese the computer is a life-line out of china. But if this happens on a regular basis, then it is time to confront the guy more directly.

 

Cleaning up after a guy.

I would never clean a guys kitchen (or anywhere else) unless he was incapacitated through illness or injury, and then only as a shared chore on occasion. I am not his mother or slave, and this sort of thing is a good measure of a guy's character in the area of independence ability to organize his life. Nor would i cook for him that often unless he returned the favor.

 

as another poster said, you were just enabling this jerk because you seemed to treat the trivial things way too seriously and let him off on the major character points.

 

and going back to him and begging to be let in - major desperation.

i know that this time of the year, CNY, family will be pressuring you to have some sort of relationship, but acting needy and desperate to an a-hole is not the solution.

 

i would be curious to know how you ended up with this guy.

was he good-looking or was it something about his character that initially attracted you?

if it was mainly his looks, then you seriously need to re-examine your priorities when it comes to dating.

 

there are so many relationship deal-breakers you have ignored.

could it be that he saw you as the 'easy' Chinese girl that some foreigners seem to like to brag about?

 

finally, regarding 'compromise'

this is often reached after negotiation. How long did you spend on negotiation of acceptable relationship boundaries before you compromised into being his skivvy and sex toy?

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

The 'jerk' or 'bitch' type is mostly a problem that appears when you choose to have a serious relationship with a person just because he/she is good looking. Not that I consider myself ugly, but a healthy relationship can't be based on look only.

 

It's okay to have casual dating / sex with a good looking person, I banged lots of hotties myself in the past, but when it comes to serious relationships and getting married, you must look past the appearance. Is he/she a good person? Does he/she have a healthy lifestyle? Is he/she a stable person that can be trusted? Etc...

 

Once you see past the outlook, you should be able to find the right person for yourself. He doesn't have to be 1.90 with an athlete body and an angel face, it's okay to lower your physical standards, but you can't lower your inner standards. I don't mean ugly, but he doesn't have to be 'hot' looking, average is fine too.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

RandomGuy:

The 'jerk' or 'bitch' type is mostly a problem that appears when you choose to have a serious relationship with a person just because he/she is good looking. Not that I consider myself ugly, but a healthy relationship can't be based on look only.

 

It's okay to have casual dating / sex with a good looking person, I banged lots of hotties myself in the past, but when it comes to serious relationships and getting married, you must look past the appearance. Is he/she a good person? Does he/she have a healthy lifestyle? Is he/she a stable person that can be trusted? Etc...

 

Once you see past the outlook, you should be able to find the right person for yourself. He doesn't have to be 1.90 with an athlete body and an angel face, it's okay to lower your physical standards, but you can't lower your inner standards. I don't mean ugly, but he doesn't have to be 'hot' looking, average is fine too.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I never said he's hot. He's 187cm, not hot but not bad either.

 

Never said it is the looks alone?

 

why you keep saying things I didn't even said.

 

He's the guy I shared so many common interest with. We went to bars, events, restaurants we like. It was fun.

 

He's very outgoing, he can just walk to anyone and chat around. That made me giggle. I sometimes would giggle while I was thinking of him, I think he's such a cute guy.

 

He doesn't mind if I want to wear sexy.

 

I felt for him and I got attached to him that fast. Well, I got attached to guy very easily which I know, but that's the feeling I couldn't control. Who can control their own feelings?

 

Some people said they don't feel attached to someone fast, it's just because that's how they are, so they don't need to control the feeling.

 

I like a lot things on him, he's just a teddy bear who could cuddle with me on sofa and running around to make many friends.

 

He could just chat with me a lot when with me.

 

 

He'd hug me on sofa and make me read English novel and correct my pronounciation:) He has many good things I like even he does treat me bad too. He treat me good sometimes too like come to pick me up with his scooter at the metro station or took me to buy clothes for me or paid expensive ticket and meals for me.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

0
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 4495

Emperor

4
7
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
3

http://shanghaiist.com/2017/01/14/tencent_blowjob_outrage.php

 

you are unfortunately part of (not by choice) and live in a culture that treats women like sh*t.

 

perhaps you can stick to your plan, marry a Western guy and get citizenship in a Western country.  I wish you the Best.

philbravery:

glad to see there are still some decent minded folk still here. up vote to counter the losers down

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

diverdude1:

thx phil

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 204

Governor

0
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

This is never going to end is it?

 

Your thirstiness for a White guy leaves you settling for crap that you normally wouldn't tolerate if it were a Chinese guy, for example. Hence, I can see why that guy ended up treating you like that (even though it's not justified you still enabled it).

 

Also bear in mind that while there are many foreign men (I'd also like to think that this includes myself) that are all for coupling up with an independent-minded woman who's doing their own thing (not unlike some urban young Chinese men I imagine), there are also those of us that go for Asian woman specifically because they're associated with submissive, docile traits. Just bear that in mind, that's all.

 

But wow, you've been at this for years and still no luck?! Maybe you're the actual problem and not the guys. And again, calm down with the desperation, many men like women can sense it from a mile off, especially when you're dealing with relatively more blunt and direct Chinese women. Coyness definitely doesn't seem to be a thing here. 

Shining_brow:

"Your thirstiness for a White guy leaves you settling for crap that you normally wouldn't tolerate if it were a Chinese guy, for example."

 

Given what she wrote above about the last guy, I'm not so sure. That's some pretty bad crap he'd been throwing around (at least, as far as she described it), so if she's still wanting him around, seems like she's willing to put up with a LOT of crap!

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 7715

Emperor

2
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
5

Here, I think, is your biggest problem (amongst a few...).

 

You are an ok looking Chinese girl, trying to chase a young, white, good-looking western (American??) guy - for something long-term (for dubious reasons).

 

However, young, white, good-looking western guys are chasing young, good-looking Chinese girls - who aren't looking for something long-term.

 

What you also haven't realised is that you're also probably looking for a guy who comes across as very 'confident' - but this is an illusion! This 'confidence' idea relates to different areas of one's life... you can be confident with girls, but suck arse when it comes to work, responsibility, life, etc. One can be extremely confident in one's profession, but completely lack confidence when it comes to picking up girls.

 

Going after the guys who are confident with girls is a great way to get suckered into a situation you don't (apparently) want. Guys who are confident with girls aren't going to be interested in a long-term relationship (especially with someone desperate). You have to be amazingly stand-out to catch a guy like this long-term (although, who says you'd want to anyway...???)

 

You've also shown on this forum that you HATE listening to advice that you don't like... which I presume is no different outside of this forum. Therefore, the "OMFG" response is going to be so likely when you start asking questions to those guys you do get. "Which do you think I should wear - the red or blue?".. He's got NO right answer!!!! Because. as soon as he says one, you'll bite his arse off for not selecting the other...

 

 

One piece of 'advice' that I'll offer - sort out your priorities! Handsome. Rich. White. Young. Mature. Respectful. Committed. Honest. Clean. etc etc etc... What do you NEED... what do you WANT. Needs always come before wants! ALWAYS.

Viki87:

I think you missed some points.

 

I do ask a lot of advices, but those are just advices the other people give. Finally I have to make decision by myself based on advices I got.

 

who said the one who asked for advice must listen to every advice she got?

 

 

For me, by asking advice is a good way to form my own decision.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

icnif77:

'Learn to be happy with what you have, and you'll be happy your entire life! 

 

Desire is a goal, not need!'

 

C&p, of course .

 

 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Tim2017:

Yo, SB dude. You must be some cool hep cat to be coming down so condescendingly on a lady. My brother, that just ain't cool man. I just can't dig where you be coming from man. Respect and peace brother. Respect and peace. Get groovy with it and you might even find a girlfriend yourself. I mean this with the utmost respect, passive aggressive insults to a lady are not gonna win you a dime bag of love. And it's cool if you like masturbation so much that you think pushing girls around is more fun than horizontal folk dancing with them. Nahh, i must be wasted. It's not cool man.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

PPS: He is almost 30, you don't call a 30 man too young. 30 is an age of getting life set.

 

Through those years of dating white guys, I found one's life goal and way of treating women doesn't just have something to do with age, it is also comes from one's way of being raised.

 

A young man who doesn't want to get married will probally never get married.

 

A young man who doesn't treat women well probally because  his parents are divorced and he didn't get his mom to teach him how to treat women well, and it might be hard for him to change himself that much once he's a grown up man.

 

 

 

You sound like an 40-50 yo man trying to educate me how young and immature a 30 yo man is. When I was in my middle 20S, I often heard 30 yo man tried to educate me 20 yo man is too young and immature for me. lol think of it.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Shining_brow:

Vicki - are you actually going to deny that over the past few years you've been on this site, you've sought advice from the users here? Are you also going to deny that you have verbally attacked a (large) number of those users, because you didn't like what they had to say??? AND, (IIRC) you have never yet, even once, apologised for any of those verbal attacks you made...!!!

 

Shall we go back to the topic of 'maturity' again now???

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

I suppose while you gave the sort of advice to somone you have to be polite?

 

Or did you insult people or shout to people while giving advice in real life? I suppose many people are trying to be polite while giving advice in real life. 

 

So then suddently act like a judgemental dick and birch while giving advices to me in the forum?

Only a few people are nice to me while giving advices, I remember they are Americans, only very few. Especially with the one in my wechat, very polite and I respect him and never will attack him for no reason.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Shining_brow:

One name - Sorrel!

 

And, if you bother to ever go back through all your posts asking for advice, you will find that EVERYONE started out being nice to you... and, like your responses to Sorrel, you attacked them when you read what you didn't like!

 

Don't make me go and quote you and put in links.....

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

Sorrel is a completely bitch. Stop mentioning that name.

 

Shes just like a bunch of you insulted me in the name of giving advices, 

 

Just stop commenting on my postes when you want to insult as well.

 

 

 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Viki87:

Example 1: If my friend asked me for how to sell things on line.
 
Can I just say you are dumb, how can you not know website likes taobao can list things for sale?
 
My friend will call me bitch and not appreciate my advice.
 
Over the past years, I seek advices on many things. Many people call me dres like whore, act like a no brainer, green card chaser.,etc.
 
Yes, they did give advices with those bad name calling.
 
I really don't appreciate those advices. Lol
 
If you still can't understand, go screw yourself.
 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2531

Emperor

1
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

Most white guys in Shanghai... (and most of China for that matter) have huge entitlement issues. You want to be in a relationship with him but all he can do it treat you like a slave... while he probably looks around for other women. 

 

You need to choose more mature men. 

Viki87:

He just somone just arrived at Shanghai several monthes ago.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1391

Emperor

3
5
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

We've been telling you for years: yes Viki, it's YOUR problem.

 

I know I'm asking this in vain, but perhaps you should do a bit of introspection.

Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 724

Shifu

2
2
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
0

You start to wonder if you are a good fit for most white guys?

 

Obviously not! You have already answered your own Q.

 

Is it mainly your problem?

 

Usually one size should fit all and based on your successful rate which is 0, I'd say...I'm not sure what used to fit you before all those white men...watermelon?

philbravery:

oowww Cat fight ..lol

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 2774

Emperor

2
4
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
2

I wanted to reply to the shining vs viki thread just above but the rainy season approaches and the wife needs a jacket. - - @Shining give your head a wobble mate and stop being such an arrogant dick towards this girl.

As Tim said, it is pathetic that you get your jollies abusing a girl. Unaustralian, you might say. Sure she asks questions that you in your ivory tower deem frivolous and still you condescend to give her some abuse and advice. Then demand that he take it and sling shit at her if ahe doesn't. If Viki met you I bet she would bitch-slap you to the ground and there os nothing a bullyimg internet tough guy like you could do to stop it.

As a person who has admitted to working illegally in this forum (quotes if you like) and obviously has no girlfriend and isn't likely to, you aren't qualified to give anyone advice. Yeah, yeah, you have your research fantasy, business fantasy, philosophising with police fantasy etc.....but fantasies all. Stick to doing what you learned at university: flipping burgers for a minimum wage.

Anyway, Viki, in response to your question, may i suggest that when you hook up with the next guy, try not to get too invested in the relationship for some time until you can see where it is going. Go on living your life and if he fits into that, great, if not, then it is just a bit of fun and a booty call. If he isn't living less than 30 mins away by subway he isn't suitable except for an occasional shag. Don't chase them. Relax and let them chase you
Being cool and aloof will make you more desirable and a little mysterious Smile

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 827

Shifu

0
1
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
1

I saw a soap opera once.

Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Posts: 11

Governor

1
3
You must be a registered user to vote!
You must be a registered user to vote!
4

Yo, right on brother wolf. This SB just isn't getting the vibe that it ain't cool for cats to beat up chicks.

The dude must be sitting on an epic porn stash and a butt plug or riding a batphone to hooker central.

Just wondering hereabouts but did this Shining person try to hit on Vicky back in the day and she dodged the bullet. Now the dude got his hating on. Oh man!

icnif77:

No, shinning is LT poster here and he read the same 'soaps' with 'no end' many times already .... 

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

philbravery:

wow. We haven't seen a Hippie here since Woody ' s avatar. What part of the world did the free love bus pick you up from? FYI some people here are a little up themselves

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse

Tim2017:

No bus my beother although i do have a sweet flower power combi that smells like it waso owned by cheech and chong. I've just landed after almost 12 months on the Rainbow Warrior chasing whalers away from the pods. I wanna get my geoove on down with helping some children in a disadvantaged area of Jiangsu. I have been teaching the little tykes to make dream catchers and grow organic vegetables that the school uses in the children's meals. We have saved enough money with this to afford notebooks and pencils for every child in the school now. A new generation of literacy. It's very cool and blows my mind to help a little. Share the peace and love brothers.

7 years 10 weeks ago
Report Abuse
Report Abuse
7 years 10 weeks ago
 
Know the answer ?
Please or register to post answer.

Report Abuse

Security Code: * Enter the text diplayed in the box below
Image CAPTCHA
Enter the characters shown in the image.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd> <img> <br> <p> <u>
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Textual smileys will be replaced with graphical ones.

More information about formatting options

Forward Question

Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77