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Posts: 3025

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Q: This is not really a question, it is only some funny thoughts I have.

Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that it is the government's job.

Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.

Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.

Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!

Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.

Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

Please, do not take them seriously or in an offensive way, I am just trying for a few laughts on this first day of a new year.  Or maybe I am bored, my GF went out shopping with her "hongbao".

 

Happy New Year to you all now I'm going for a beer.

12 years 12 weeks ago in  General  - China

 
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Awesome!!  Very funny!!   But we do get most of the yankee channels here up north.  I have friends from all countries, so this is great.
I think I may have to rip this off and post it on FB!!

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12 years 12 weeks ago
 
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That was good.  Happy New Year

DaBen:

I mean.. .How dare you insults us like that! I'm reporting your racist ass to the Cat! He's gonna make a litter box out of your soul for insulting such great countries!

12 years 12 weeks ago
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HappyExPat:

Gee, and I thought we had tougher skin than others here when we critizice them. Please notice I on purpose left other nationalities out, Too risky ! But do not worry, meaning understood !

12 years 12 weeks ago
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philbravery:

I know those Kiwi's are just sooks ( LOL)

12 years 12 weeks ago
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12 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Very funny.  

Bad Day:  I just came back from a 2 hour Chinese play for children.
Worse Day: ALL the songs were sung to the tune of Jingle Bells.
Not Enough Beer Day: The play was Wizard of Oz.

So thank you for the laugh.  It was much needed.

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12 years 12 weeks ago
 
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This was GREAT! Thanks for a nice chuckle! Wonder what the Wu-Mao-Army will make of it...

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12 years 12 weeks ago
 
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Very very good
when you come to Australia I will shout you a Beer or three
and by the way
most Australians dont know more than the first verse of
Advance Australia Fare (to much beer)
Happy new year to you

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12 years 12 weeks ago
 
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