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Posts: 7204

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Q: Passive aggressive replys.

You know the things that you are subjected to .
The things that you are asked and told.
So how do we deal with it?
For me im over the politeness reply and smile.
How many times a day do ypu get "Ahh your Chinese is so good."
My reply is thank you. ..so is yours.
Or how about "you are so tall and handsome "
Thank you...can you introduce me to a pretty girl.?
To the noobs here welcome to Planet China where being a Narcissist is a National past time.

5 years 5 weeks ago in  Culture - China

 
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Yeah I was never able to get comfortable with the fake compliments.

 

When I was a manager I'd get them all the time from the staff and others you already know aren't trustworthy and you suspect are trying to fuck you over behind your back, if they aren't already.

 

There's a scene from the movie Snatch that always went through my head... never said it but I often thought it to myself because it just sums it up perfectly I think.

 

 

Brick Top:
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya, Gary?

Gary:
No, no, I'm not.

Brick Top:
However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary; all except loyalty.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=snatch+scene+you%27re+not+a...

 

 

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5 years 5 weeks ago
 
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Posts: 5321

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Yeah I was never able to get comfortable with the fake compliments.

 

When I was a manager I'd get them all the time from the staff and others you already know aren't trustworthy and you suspect are trying to fuck you over behind your back, if they aren't already.

 

There's a scene from the movie Snatch that always went through my head... never said it but I often thought it to myself because it just sums it up perfectly I think.

 

 

Brick Top:
Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya, Gary?

Gary:
No, no, I'm not.

Brick Top:
However, you have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary; all except loyalty.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=snatch+scene+you%27re+not+a...

 

 

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5 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 511

Governor

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I could be asked that a million times, ill never be a smug asshole. What's so hard about nodding your head and smiling and saying thank you? It takes way more energy to respond with a snide remark. I'm not saying you are these things...I know what you mean, its gets old being told the same old shit all the time..that's just how she goes in China. At least they are not saying "you so black" or ugly or something negative.I know peoples compliments are fake anyway. I don't mind fake..mocking is another thing though. I'm all about leaving a good impression so the next foreigner might be looked at with a bit more respect and treated better.

philbravery:

It has nothing to do with smugness. ..it's about being sick and tired of their my shit don't sting attitude and talking down to you...what's wrong with standing your ground and not playing the apologist and taking their crap. Why do I have to be submisive?

5 years 4 weeks ago
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icnif77:

If their shit would stunk,  they'd lose a face ... or two. .

You should acknowledge dat .

5 years 4 weeks ago
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5 years 5 weeks ago
 
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To be sarcastic is my #1 reply crime, but the funny thing is I've gotten more and more out of using it in Asia.  They just don't get it.  Most of the folks I'm around year in / year out have a heck of a time w/ simple sentences.  So I listen to them speak in English a while, make the simplest reply I can, and that's about it with most of 'em.  I can tell, as everyone else here has experienced a million times too,,, all u have to do is start discussing something, there is that blank look on their face and most I've known look everywhere but at me, and I can tell they can't understand 15% of what I'm saying, so most of the time that's when I drop it and keep the conversation superficial.   Man, I really miss good smart-ass, smart-aleck, sarcastic replies.  I used one on gf today, she asked what I considered to be a dumb question, so I looked at her and said 'I'll give you 3 guesses.' with a really smart-ass tone, then she's standing there explaining to me she doesn't know what I mean by 3 guesses. no  

ambivalentmace:

If you stay in China too long, you may think your a superhero, in that sarcasm is a true art form that nobody understands, but when you go back to the west, you realize your normal again and everyone is sarcastic.

 

I have always pondered how sarcasm did not get into Chinese society, my guess is the history of violence and incriminations toward you fellow man sort of blew up the idea.

5 years 5 weeks ago
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5 years 5 weeks ago
 
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I do try and make a joke out of compliments, handsome, I reply "you know, my wife, mistress and 3 girlfriends, say the same thing".

 

your chinese is so good  "yes, I hope so my new mistress refuses to speak any English with me and I can't talk her into learning French".

If they invite you to dinner, "I have to check with the boss my wife and of course my small wife to make sure they have no plans for me".

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5 years 5 weeks ago
 
Posts: 41

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Tom Wilson, who played Biff in "Back to the Future", wrote a song that perfectly encapsulates what it's like to be a Westerner in China. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwY5o2fsG7Y

diverdude1:

any other links besides youtube?,,,  I mean for us VPN deprived.   My Civil Rights have been infringed!! I'm a victim!  Things are not PC,,,  Where is my support Llama when I need her !

5 years 4 weeks ago
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kmcgeary:

What about The Daily Motion? It starts at 1:00 

 

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x34axcz

5 years 4 weeks ago
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philbravery:

Great link...must of watched it 4 times. Thanks for posting it. Seenbsome other of his stuff to....very funny man

5 years 3 weeks ago
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5 years 4 weeks ago
 
Posts: 1095

Shifu

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I don't respond, I literally act as if they didn't say anything and carry on with the conversation or with whatever I am doing. Say I'm eating noodles and out of nowhere comes a "wow you can use chopsticks very good", I don't even look at them or react in any way, I just keep eating. Ignoring such narcissistic people frustrates them because they are just attention whoring with their fake compliments and stupid remarks.

philbravery:

Thanks for supporting my last statement in the in the post.. I've never met a more naritstical race of people

5 years 3 weeks ago
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5 years 3 weeks ago
 
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Answer of the DayMORE >>
A:  "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "S
A: "... through ..."?  Only "through" comes to mind is "Shenzhen agent can connect you with an employer, who's authorized to hire waigouren ... and can sponsor Z visa." It's not like every 10th person you meet in Shenzhen's hood can sponsor work visa ...  The only way to change from student to labourer visa is just a regular way by: 1. Finding an employer, who'll apply for an Invitation letter; 2. Exit China and apply for Z visa in your home country's Chinese embassy; 3. Enter China in 30-days after Z visa was stamped into your travelling instrument ...As I am aware, you won't be able to switch to Working permit by remaining in China....,so make ready for a return to your home .... -- icnif77