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Q: This poor girl....
Not really a question more of a Chinese story/experience.
So im going for a walk tonight around town and on my way back I decided to stop at one of those fancy chinese bakeries where they sell overpriced western pastries and things like that, usually with dumb English names like" Sweet cake joy" or "love cake happiness" or something like that.
Ive been to a few a these places before and they are pretty much all the same. You walk in, you take a tray and a pair of tongs and go grab whatever you want and bring it to the counter and they individually wrap everything and pack it in a bag for you.
Now here is where the trouble starts...there are 5 other people in the there buying things too. As soon as i walk-in i grab a tray and tongs and start looking around, and right away this cute little thing behind the counter comes rushing out and grabs a tray and tongs and starts following me around and wants to serve me. She wants to help me grab the things I want. No ones else was getting this service, only me. I told her it was ok, I can do it myself and she insisted on helping me and start making small talking in broken English asking where I was from ect, just small talk. Which was ok but im also walking around with a tray and tongs while she's getting everything i point at. i felt kind of uncomfortable as everyone is watching this with strange looks on their faces.
So this one guy says something to the likes of " why dont we get this service? only laowais get this service? (all in chinese) and then he calls her a dumb bitch or slut bitch, something "bitch" I could not quite understand the word he used in chinese, but i know the word bitch. So she almost starts crying and just stands there almost in tears while this guy starts yelling at her. So i try to diffuse the situation telling the guy in broken chinese thats its ok and she thinks I dont know how this place works, which was bullshit because Im standing there also with a tray and tongs in my hand but he would not even look at me.So he asked to see the manager and starts yelling at her too. And of course, people from the street see the commotion and start to gather around and watch this fucked up scene.
SO what was I to do? I could have cleaned his clock but then what? I got 50 pissed of chinese men looking at me while I bash the fuck out of this guy in a bakery? Im not stupid.lol. There was no feasible violent solution to this with so many witnesses. So after about 1 or 2 minutes the manager woman threatens to call the police on this guy so he ends up leaving and throwing his tray of shit on the ground amd left. So after he left the poor girl goes in the back crying while the manager and the cashier are apologizing to me lol Dont apologize to me, im cool, i dont care about that but the poor girl had to deal with that bullshit. She should be the one you should be helping.
So my tray was sitting on the counter and bring it to the cashier and just want her to ring it up so I can leave but the manager insisted that I not pay for my things, take it as a gift for all eh trouble. Now I feel real bad, So i asked to talk to the girl that got yelled at and she came out and I apologized to her and thanked her for being so kind and helpful. Told her its ok dont let that cock sucker bother you. All I had on me was a 50rmb bill so I gave it to the girl as a gift but she refused to take it saying it was ok she just wanted to be helpful and friendly, i told her im not leaving until you take it, so you have to take it and gave her a wink and smile and she took it and thanked me again and she was smiling a bit, although with tears in her eyes.....it was all just a fucked up situation.
So on my way out i thanked the manager for her kindness and for the free sweets. Although what i had was only about 30rmb worth of stuff but i ended up giving the girl 50 so it really cost me more lol
Actually, the worst part was when I was leaving everyone was still gathered around the shop and just staring at me while i left and walked down the street....it was just awkward as fuck lol
I've seen shit like that before too. A local guy abusing the girl I was with and calling her a traitor or something similar for helping me buy something in a market.
It sucks but by now the girl will have brushed it off, and the bully involved will still be waking up every day angry at the world and not liking himself.
Just give the girl a big smile every time you go in there and make a point of being friendly and speaking with her in English, brighten up her day a bit.
RandomGuy:
There are a lot of frustrated angry individuals in China because their own life is a failure or because they feel inadequate. They seem to be angry at life in general and literally walk around looking for someone or something to trigger them. I don't think their hate is aimed at foreigners but I think they hate seeing a happy foreigner who loves it here when they themselves hate their own country, they even more so hate seeing a foreigner who is relatively successful (financially or socially speaking) in China.
I've seen shit like that before too. A local guy abusing the girl I was with and calling her a traitor or something similar for helping me buy something in a market.
It sucks but by now the girl will have brushed it off, and the bully involved will still be waking up every day angry at the world and not liking himself.
Just give the girl a big smile every time you go in there and make a point of being friendly and speaking with her in English, brighten up her day a bit.
RandomGuy:
There are a lot of frustrated angry individuals in China because their own life is a failure or because they feel inadequate. They seem to be angry at life in general and literally walk around looking for someone or something to trigger them. I don't think their hate is aimed at foreigners but I think they hate seeing a happy foreigner who loves it here when they themselves hate their own country, they even more so hate seeing a foreigner who is relatively successful (financially or socially speaking) in China.
I feel for you. Another TIC experience.
While I can understand your sympathy for the girl who naively gave you preferential treatment based on race/ethnicity/country of origin, was it wrong for the guy to call her out on that? No. Was he being rude by calling her a bitch? Yes. But he did have a valid point.
As to the extra 20 RMB you paid, chalk it up as an entertainment expense. I know it doesn't feel like you were being entertained, and that you were thrust into the spotlight involuntarily and unfairly, but years from now you'll look back on this situation in more gracious light.
More importantly, how were the pastries? Will you be a repeat customer?
biggj123:
Yeah, it's not anything im going to lose sleep over that's for sure. I don't think she meant to give me special treatment just because I'm a foreigner. I think she just used that method as an excuse to come up and talk to me. Either way though, it looks bad no matter which way you slice it. Although I was not expecting that kind of outburst from the guy, I was expecting maybe some rude or awkward stares.
The sweets I got were pretty good. I particularly liked this blueberry layer cake thingy I got.
Yeah I too hate getting special treatment 'just because I am a foreigner' be it positive or negative special treatment. I hate the attention, I hate being singled out, I hate being reminded that I am different.
I just want to be treated normally, the same way Chinese people treat each others. But apparently being treated normally is too much asking from these people.
biggj123:
Yeah, I'm with you on that. I know some foreigners here like the attention and get off on it. I hate this kind of attention good or bad, I rather just blend into the crowd...although it's nearly impossible here. Its like i can feel their eyes on me whenever I go out in public.
When im back in my own country and im walking around in stores or in public places I get this peaceful feeling knowing no one is paying any attention to me and im not treated like I just landed in a spacecraft and make the first contact with humans.
mike168229:
Right with you. Can't stand being reminded every fucking time I walk out the door. Hence not leaving the house unless I have to these days.
OK, Canadians is this a multicultural Chinese immigrant that is now proudly Canadian.
Just curious.
Hotwater:
Where does the article say she was Chinese, Canadian Chinese or whatever background? There was NO mention of her name, ethnicity or otherwise.
I’ve also watched the video, albeit on my phone, & again not clear on her ethnicity
ambivalentmace:
That why I am asking, though she does look Asian in the video and the Chinese have it on their website here, not sure why it's reported in China unless of course she is Chinese or they want to do some Canadian bashing.
iWolf:
I've wanted to do that in restaurants before but being civilised kicked in.
Local guys are small and extremely petty. Chinese are taught to be like that to foreigners for face, China's face. He's small probably can't find a gf outside of KTVs and massage parlors
This is is China, blame everyone because women don't like losers
RandomGuy:
Yeah I find is extremely annoying how men here are constantly playing this dick-waving contest when they see a Foreigner. I mean I don't do this to Black or Arab dudes back home. Although I perfectly understand why Chinese men do this to Foreigners, they feel extremely insecure towards us for some reason and their insecurity translates into this childish behavior. They are basically trying to put down the Foreigner in order to raise themselves up, protip: it doesn't work. Totally unnecessary, I am extremely friendly to the Chinese I know and who don't act like this, they are a minority, and I would be friendly to all of them but the majority never miss to prove themselves pathetically insecure before I even get to know them. The worst thing is they think they are somehow cool by acting like middle school children on a playground, then they wonder why Chinese women are the group most likely to date outside their race, they don't see the correlation here.
Englteachted:
Chinese guys like this are constantly obessing over their lack of size
Quinn68:
I think Chinese guys middle school mentality has zero influence on Chinese girls dating outside their race. They either like foreigners or they don't. 0.5% of them do. The rest prefer dealing with the immature antics of their Chinese manboys.
Some guys have too much dick in their personality and not enough in their pants.
