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Q: A question of ethics.....
So, I met this girl. We sort of clicked, but she's a 'traditional' girl, and I'm not...
We hung out a couple of times, had a ball, lots of laughs, and things were 'progressing'... her barriers were breaking down.
Then, unfortunately, I pushed to hard... :(
And, she left (me, and the city, which was all part of her plan).
So, since she said she didn't want me to chase her, I let her go... I don't want (nor need) hassle in my life, and I was sensing hassle.
And, I'm content with this. She obviously is as well, as she's never bothered to initiate contact with me, either.
But... she may have 'useful' relatives (ie, professors) at a uni I'd like to get into....
Should I get back in the good books with her, just to get the influence of her relatives?
It's NOT what I want to do... but, as a couple just said when I asked them this, "She'd do it to you".
Thoughts??? Suggestions?
that's actually quite normal for china. simply say you want to be friends and talk to her through qq every few days. that will build up your relationship points. then happen to be in the same city with her and have lunch. then you can ask for that favor. this is chinese life
and dont worry no one will ever think of you as a traditional chinese woman
If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then don't. In the end, you are the one that's going to have to live with the consequences, good or bad. If you're ok with anything that could happen, who are we to tell you not to do it?
Haven't we all heard the whole... if <so and so> jumped off the bridge, would you follow.
OR, Treat others like you want to be treated.
Try getting into the uni without her guanxi. It might be better to try without her. If she's pissed/hates you and discovers you are only friending her to get into the uni, it could backfire on you.
Don't let China (or anyone or anyplace for that matter) change who you are in your core.
Yes, she would do it to you. Initially I would have said to ignore the urge to Use Her, but now, years later....I say, take what you can get and dont look back. I have trouble taking this advice from time to time but as it has been said here, China operates this way so dont sweat it.
If you pushed the young lady to hard then the problem was of your making. You should not contact her to use her it shows lack of respect for her and her family, as well as yourself
Shining_brow:
I did my BA in philosophy...
From this, I read a lot of big statements... but very thin on argument. In fact, I'd even go so far as to claim it as a fallacy of "Appeal to Emotion"...
Care to back any of that up? Or at least, present something other than emotive BS??
You should have used your philosophy more wisely then.
more is gained with honey than vinegar
