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Q: Should I hire this designer?
The American introduced me his website designer to me.The designer is in New York.
I talked with him, he understand scale model and promoting business. He seem smart. He showed me some of his works and talk with me to get to know what I like.Then he confidently saying he can get what I want.
Here is what he charges:
1000USD professional website content writing, 3000-4000USD website design, he can help hire models and shot my product pictures. Samples would be taken to their New York office from their Shenzhen office.
I have run my startup model business for 4 monthes, I only got small orders with small profit during the time. Well,I do not invest on getting customers though, so very limited customer resources by taking some customers from the company I am working. This company only invested 29800rmb on alibaba for getting customers.
I have two potential upcoming orders, the customers paid for making customized samples. I am waitting for their order confirmation.
Sometimes Viki I just shake my head and say this in my head time after time "why the heck is Viki posting all this junk on echina?"... It's a bit strange and leads to questions like:
1. Viki needs friends because she is ___?
2. Viki uses us to practice her English?
3. She's hired by this site to keep questions coming? (If not she should be hired).
4. Is Viki really even Viki? Or even a girl? Just someone enjoying social fantasy on Echina?
Viki87:
You are the audience. I found it strange that you keep posting when you don't like my questions.
Sometimes Viki I just shake my head and say this in my head time after time "why the heck is Viki posting all this junk on echina?"... It's a bit strange and leads to questions like:
1. Viki needs friends because she is ___?
2. Viki uses us to practice her English?
3. She's hired by this site to keep questions coming? (If not she should be hired).
4. Is Viki really even Viki? Or even a girl? Just someone enjoying social fantasy on Echina?
Viki87:
You are the audience. I found it strange that you keep posting when you don't like my questions.
I find it strange that Vicki, whoever he or she is, cannot do anything without asking an anonymous group of strangers what she should do. She used to talk about her group of wise friends, this was under a previous account but no-one hears of these anymore. I suspect that she no longer has these friends, we all know how she cannot maintain relationships, and relies on strangers hoping to gain the knowledge she needs. I sometimes think, reading her posts, that I am in an episode of Monty Python.
Stiggs:
I'd have said groundhog day rather than Monty Python just because it often seems like the same question every week.
I do think this is a fair enough question though. 10k is a lot to invest without knowing what you're getting into. If someone here has some constructive advice it would be worth hearing it. Whether or not it's taken is a different matter.Viki87:
Who makes rules for only asking advice from friends? Human wisdom comes from wide interaction, not with interaction limited to certain few friends. You act just close minded. In fact, a lot of close minded are just old guys at your age. Strict, arrogant, abusive and lack of creative mind. You decide life only has one way. And you think others should follow the way you think. If not, you call them bad name. You can't accept diffrence. Sadly that is you
tomcatflyer:
Yes Vicki you just think what you want. The fact is you have been coming to this site for years, asking the same old questions over and over, getting some good advice and then ignoring it and eventually just bad mouthing everyone. And you think I am closed minded?
Not my words, obviously, but a certain someone deletes my posts if I include links:
1. She can’t stand not being the center of attention. This is someone who continually hogs the limelight, especially from someone she views as a threat. No amount of attention is ever enough. A narcissistic female could have a loving family, but she will still step outside of her most intimate relationships to seek thrills from the attention of strangers. She will manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to get the focus back onto her and her deliberate crazymaking. She will make your accomplishments and struggles all about herself. She will continually steer the conversation back to herself without fail, time and time again, to highlight her own perceived achievements or to stage pity ploys that make her seem like the victim when she is actually the culprit.
2. She uses her sexuality to manipulate others. While histrionic females tend to use their sexuality and appearance indiscriminately and across all contexts, female narcissists are said by experts to use their sexuality to achieve a specific goal or mission. Whether it be climbing the corporate ladder or getting a boyfriend to forgive her transgressions, a female narcissist has no qualms about using her body to get ahead and get over on someone.
3. Her sense of boundaries is twisted. Hitting on your significant other? A weekly occurrence. Sleeping with a friend’s recent ex? No problem. Flirting salaciously with her significant other’s brother? Fun! Female narcissists feel excessively entitled to all of it and have no issue with violating boundaries to get the attention and resources they desire. They care little about who they hurt in the process.
4. Her lack of empathy is startling. Much like narcissists of any gender, female narcissists lack a core sense of empathy for others. When they see someone hurting, even if they caused that pain, they’re unlikely to feel any shame or remorse. Their shallow, nonchalant questions about your welfare, your life, and your goals are often reframed and rerouted to serve their own needs. They only care about the plights of others so long as it relates to them and their agenda. If you’re feeling sick or need a listening ear, she’s nowhere to be found unless it helps her to benefit somehow.
5. They sabotage those they are envious of. Female narcissists engage in a great deal of relational aggression to undermine and extinguish those they perceive to be threats. This means you’ll find them underhandedly working behind the scenes to one-up you, sabotage your relationships, spread rumors, stage a smear campaign or ensuring that any attention or recognition that would’ve been paid to you gets outsourced to them or one of their cronies (in other words, enablers) instead.
7. They idealize, devalue, and discard. Whether you’re a friend, a partner or family member of the narcissistic female, she only keeps you around so long as you’re useful to her. She will put you on a pedestal, just to throw you off of it when she perceives you’re not doing enough to worship her, meet her arbitrary demands or when you’re shining bigger and brighter than she ever could. She then begins to “groom” a new target to become your eventual replacement, in an attempt to paint you as the toxic one not worthy of her affections.
8. She enjoys creating harems and love triangles. This is the type of friend that enjoys flirting with her best friend’s husband in front of her, all while knowing they are having an affair. She will ruin a family member’s budding relationship if she feels it takes the focus off of her. She will triangulate her significant other to the nth degree. She ensnares her admirers, various exes, and even complete strangers into her toxic web because she gets off on the attention that her various flirtations, indiscretions, and transgressions grant her.
9. She becomes enraged at the slightest criticism and feels she has to eliminate the source. The narcissistic female’s rage is not unlike the narcissistic man’s in intensity, but because of social stigma surrounding female anger, the narcissistic female may communicate her rage in more subtle ways. You’ll hear her communicate her rage in a restrained but angry tone of voice, giving backhanded compliments with a sweet smile, voicing insults couched in concern or putting you down and humiliating you in public with a sadistic gleam in her eye. She does this all while maintaining a pristine, polished image to the rest of the world. If she’s more of an overt narcissist, she may throw objects, lash out in verbal attacks or even escalate to physical violence depending on where she falls on the narcissistic spectrum.
10. She is hypercritical and micromanages those she feels represent a threat to her grandiose self-image. The pathological envy of a female narcissist is immense and it seeps into the way the narcissistic female fabricates imaginary flaws and shortcomings in others. She nitpicks the targets she perceives to be most threatening (in both public and private) all while maintaining an innocent demeanor so that if you dare to complain, you’re labeled as the unhinged one.
11. She takes a sadistic pleasure in duping, abusing and bullying you. Perhaps the most malignant trait of any narcissist, of any gender, is his or her glee at watching you fall. Research reveals that more malignant narcissists rejoice in inflicting pain. They enjoy putting you down to keep you feeling off balance. They take actual pleasure in the pain they produce. They will introduce new sources of adversity and inject chaos into any peace you may be enjoying. They can’t stand not having a reaction from you – so they will do anything and everything to provoke you into reacting.
If you’ve been victimized by a narcissist, whether male or female, know that it is not your fault. You were targeted because you’re an empathic, compassionate individual – usually someone with strengths and assets that the narcissist covets. It is not your job to fix them or educate toxic, malignant people on how to be decent human beings. They likely don’t care to change their behavior and feel rewarded by it. The best course of action is doing what you can to move forward in your success and channel your experiences into your victory.
Remember, indifference is their kryptonite. It’s helpful to view their absurd tactics from a more detached perspective and think, “Oh, children.” Invest your energy in building your own resources and sense of strength rather than wasting it on morally impoverished people. Emotional toddlers cannot be schooled properly on empathy – they will continue to operate from the dark realms of their character disorder.
But take heart – all narcissists eventually unmask themselves and many eventually meet their downfall, all while their victims move onto bigger and better things.
Viki87:
You are Miko's weird ex robert, I am so sick of you so I deleted u.
I never slept with a friend's recent ex. You are being ridiculous to make up those shits.
Blondie_:
not my words, but you can read:
Narcissistic HCPs (high conflict people) need to make others their targets of blame to feel superior, which they truly believe they are.
A narcissistic HCP typically engages in a lot of all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behavior. This often takes the form of constant insults, putting themselves up by putting others down, identifying themselves as winners and everyone else as losers, and repeatedly demanding admiration from those around them.
1. Don’t diss the narcissist.
While it’s tempting to insult narcissists right back, this doesn’t help. Surprisingly, they can’t handle that, and they will typically escalate their insults and efforts to humiliate you — if they are HCPs, sometimes for months or years. It’s better to hold off on direct negative feedback and instead focus on what you want from them — and if what you want is for them to shut up, then it’s best to find a reason to simply move away from them. It’s common to notice that they suck all the oxygen out of a room, so that it’s hard for anyone else to get attention. Say a pleasant goodbye, and get out of there.
2. Don’t expect to change them or give them insight.
You might wish that they would realize how ridiculous they appear, but they’re not going to get that. Instead of reflecting on their own behavior, they will put more energy into defending it, justifying why they should be allowed to put others down and be rude and insensitive. You’re not going to make them respect you — and you don’t need to. A narcissist, especially a narcissistic HCP, either doesn’t really acknowledge your existence or treats you like dirt. This is an automatic defense mechanism for them that you can’t break through; if you could, they would have changed years ago. (If they have narcissistic personality disorder, then they are extremely unlikely to change.)
3. Don’t believe them.
Many targets of blame get stuck believing the things narcissists say about them. Keep this in mind regarding HCPs of all types: The issue’s not the issue; their personality is the issue. When they say that you’re incompetent or stupid, just remember that this is their own unconscious fears, which they are projecting onto you. If you say that to them, they will do everything they can to make your life miserable, so just remind yourself that narcissistic HCPs are stuck in a pattern of blaming everyone else, which means they are not happy, are unlikely to have many friends, will sabotage themselves, and still won’t change their pattern. You can be a happy person by reminding yourself of this and spending time around people who appreciate you, rather than those compelled to insult and demean you.
4. Do try to connect with them.
Try offering a positive comment, such as praising them for something they did well. They like respect, so if there is something that you can respect about them, let them know. You don't sacrifice anything to do this. Just make sure that you don’t exaggerate or lie and say that they are worthy of more respect than they are. Just be matter of fact. Many people call this “feeding a narcissist.” Sometimes you can get a pay raise or job transfer by doing this — even though it’s the opposite of what you feel like doing. Of course, if the person is clearly toxic or abusive to you, skip trying to connect, and just find a reason to get away.
there are more suggestions on the same page
This designer's fees are in line with what I know about such fees. In fact, I'd hold him up as the perfect example of the average designer's fees. The only example. Take my advice for what it's worth. Hope that helped!
Viki87:
Good thing cost money. I want good quality, but unfortunately too expensive for me now. Hiring models to dress up like business people in business meeting and one holds my model to introduce to customer. Ha I really want that. My site would look amazing, I have a gut feeling saying if I want to get those top clients to talk to me, I should present an amazing top website to market
Viki87:
I think you could be right. USD is 6.3 times more expensive than rmb, if I want to get the designer in New York, I would have to pay the new York fee. I'll hold him up and give myself several monthes more to see how my business goes to decide.
Victoria is not looking for real answers to her questions like you or I might do. She looks for affirmation of her existing beliefs, and derisively rejects anything that contradicts her predisposed points of view. She ignores solid advice from others, and thus her inquiries are merely rhetorical questions. She is The Resident Blogger, unabashed at revealing the most sordid details of her existence. Sadly, she is one of the few Chinese active at this site giving us a glimpse into an alternate reality.
As a side note, Sponge has a good eye for the absurd and a much better sense of humor than V. I wish Sponge spoke up more.
Actually, I don't mind to have all 3 colors of raincoats
